#1
(Well, this part of the forum seems dead, but I dont know where else I should go with this)

Hi UG,

I want to share a song I wrote a few days ago, called Apathy. I dont have much experience as a songwriter, so I am definitely looking forward to get feedback on it.

I also apologise if that lyrics seem a little... "angsty".
Attachments:
Apathy.zip
#2
I can't speak too much because this isn't a genre I can give much advice for, but the octave guitar part at bar 21 stuck out as a flaw. The melody isn't pleasing to the ear and it's never heard again after the intro. I would suggest "teasing" the Chorus melody during that part instead. (I listened to this in GP5 btw, if that makes a difference)
i see your girl
G A Y
she leavin wit me

F O R
I'm playing wit her booty
in the back seat
M A D D E N
#3
Quote by imspazzen
I can't speak too much because this isn't a genre I can give much advice for, but the octave guitar part at bar 21 stuck out as a flaw. The melody isn't pleasing to the ear and it's never heard again after the intro. I would suggest "teasing" the Chorus melody during that part instead. (I listened to this in GP5 btw, if that makes a difference)


Hmm, I see what you mean. Seems like a good idea. Thanks!