Page 1 of 4
#1
I'm thinking about my high school life and how *bad* my teachers must have had it. It's difficult to remember people that didn't act like *puppies* towards their teachers.

In shop class, the teacher always shared stories about kids in the past trying to be cool by making wooden pipes. Wooden pipes... So, Stubs decided that day that he was going to attempt to make a pipe out of some scrap material left laying around. Stubs walks up to the jointer, you know the machine that runs at about 3400 RPM.. without using any piece of safety to run it through the machine safely, he pushed it on through. The piece had made it through to the other side.. Hallelujah!... Stubs looks down and notices that not everything made it through. He had shaved off his finger past the finger nail almost to the knuckle. I've always heard the expression "White as a ghost" never, ever, never ever never, have I seen someone turn as white as a ghost. He ran up to the teacher pouring blood and couldn't even spit out a damn word. Teacher reacted immediately and took care of the situation perfectly. After that incident our teacher was monitored, questioned, students were questioned, that kid caused so much grief just because he did exactly what the teacher told us all not to do. He earned the name stubs.

So, shoot some of your crazy stories from elementary or high school... well, that doesn't matter actually. Just share stories!
#2
I could've saved this girl but I just watched her OD.
Quote by jakesmellspoo
ooh look at me i'm ERIKLENSHERR and i work at fancy pants desk jobs and wear ties and ply barely legal girls with weed and booze i'm such a classy motherfucker.
#3
Quote by ErikLensherr
I could've saved this girl but I just watched her OD.

oh.. This is a great start..
You're making it sound as if you sat beside her on a couch and just watched her turn blue without caring whatsoever.
#4
Bad? can't think of any

misdemeanours, well I have destroyed many a road sign
A poem.
Quote by yoman297
no girl, movember isnt for you. shave your stache pls

I can out-bore you any day
#5
Quote by ErikLensherr
I could've saved this girl but I just watched her OD.

Did you rub it in her boyfriends face tho
#6
Quote by Piratejuice at #33614989
oh.. This is a great start..
You're making it sound as if you sat beside her on a couch and just watched her turn blue without caring whatsoever.

Nah she was on the bed, next to her boyfriend/my business partner, who later blamed himself. Shit was jokes.

^obvs
Quote by jakesmellspoo
ooh look at me i'm ERIKLENSHERR and i work at fancy pants desk jobs and wear ties and ply barely legal girls with weed and booze i'm such a classy motherfucker.
Last edited by ErikLensherr at Sep 28, 2015,
#7
I fucked Ted
dirtbag ballet by the bins down the alley
as i walk through the chalet of the shadow of death
everything that you've come to expect


#8
Quote by korinaflyingv
On the come up we were listening to Grateful Dead and the music started passing through my bowel and out my arsehole as this violet stream of light. I shat music. It was beautiful.
Last edited by Burgery at Sep 28, 2015,
#10
Quote by ErikLensherr
I could've saved this girl but I just watched her OD.
That's nothing. I shot a kid on his bicycle cause he might have seen what we were up to.
Quote by snipelfritz
You lost me at "Lubricate."

I'm raw, like nature. Nature boy. Big jungle leaves are my cum rags.

Sometimes I fuck a bamboo shoot.


There's nothing left here to be saved
Just barreling dogs and barking trains
Another year lost to the blue line
#13
I stole a 5p bubblegum from a shop once
I've committed a number of crimes I could get in a reasonable amount of trouble for but that was obviously the worst.
I have nothing important to say
#14
hm I think the worst thing I have done is try to kill myself years ago

also I cheated on one of my boyfriends when I was 18. I have come to terms with that more now that I realized that the guy I cheated on him with (my ex, first dude I ever slept with) was emotionally abusive and guilted me into it each time by convincing me I had done him wrong by not being with him, and that cheating on my bf-at-the-time with him was the only way for things to be fair. he would call me and make me cry profusely and not stop calling me until I came over. alternatively, he would make huge scenes in public if I tried to tell him to stop talking to me. thankfully, the guy I was dating at the time definitely was not "the one", and now I don't talk to either of them.

oh yeah, one time I called my mom a bitch and I feel really bad because my mother is so sweet and we were both so depressed at the time. I even nervously laughed afterward because I was so nervous about what had just come out of my mouth.

also I used to steal but it was only from huge stores like Wal-Mart and it was shit like nail polish or gouda.
Quote by Arthur Curry
it's official, vintage x metal is the saving grace of this board and/or the antichrist




e-married to
theguitarist
minterman22
tateandlyle
& alaskan_ninja

#16
I had sex in the produce section
Xbox Live: DeSquared94
PSN: desquared94
#17
Quote by Ablast
I had sex in the produce section

That's why the carrots we're all discoloured and warm
#18
not being good enough


haha i'm kidding


it's all just coming back
it's all coming back

it's all coming back to me
#19
Quote by vintage x metal
hm I think the worst thing I have done is try to kill myself years ago

also I cheated on one of my boyfriends when I was 18. I have come to terms with that more now that I realized that the guy I cheated on him with (my ex, first dude I ever slept with) was emotionally abusive and guilted me into it each time by convincing me I had done him wrong by not being with him, and that cheating on my bf-at-the-time with him was the only way for things to be fair. he would call me and make me cry profusely and not stop calling me until I came over. alternatively, he would make huge scenes in public if I tried to tell him to stop talking to me. thankfully, the guy I was dating at the time definitely was not "the one", and now I don't talk to either of them.

oh yeah, one time I called my mom a bitch and I feel really bad because my mother is so sweet and we were both so depressed at the time. I even nervously laughed afterward because I was so nervous about what had just come out of my mouth.

also I used to steal but it was only from huge stores like Wal-Mart and it was shit like nail polish or gouda.


No Walmart trip would be successful if you forgot to steal gouda... Gotta...have...that...gouda!!!!!

My girlfriend is brutal with her mom. I'm not certain if I've just started noticing it, or if she just started saying really mean shit recently, but I've been with her for 6 years and it makes me so uncomfortable, to the point of wanting to leave her... and I've spoken to her multiple times about it. Girlfriend must be losing her facking mind...at 23...
#20
Quote by Piratejuice
No Walmart trip would be successful if you forgot to steal gouda... Gotta...have...that...gouda!!!!!

My girlfriend is brutal with her mom. I'm not certain if I've just started noticing it, or if she just started saying really mean shit recently, but I've been with her for 6 years and it makes me so uncomfortable, to the point of wanting to leave her... and I've spoken to her multiple times about it. Girlfriend must be losing her facking mind...at 23...

damn man. did anything happen with her mom in the past? I have said some mean ass shit to my dad in front of my husband BUT my dad has said waaayyy meaner things to me and to my husband too so he understands it when I can't control myself. I usually go for flight but sometimes fight kicks in if I feel cornered.

that is a tough one because it doesn't directly relate to you but it still makes you uncomfortable and says a lot about how she deals with problems
Quote by Arthur Curry
it's official, vintage x metal is the saving grace of this board and/or the antichrist




e-married to
theguitarist
minterman22
tateandlyle
& alaskan_ninja

#21
Two accidental heroin OD's on dope that was cut with fentanyl. I'm lucky to have survived both times. I'm much better now though.
I've got the spirit, but lose the feeling.
#22
Quote by K'Nuckles
ur mum lol


Came here for this. Not to post it, just to make sure it had been posted. Carry on.
#23
Quote by Baby Joel
not being good enough


haha i'm kidding



hahaha, I had this one girlfriend, for probably about a month... She left me [for my best friend, fucking cunt lol] because I played guitar too often and I didn't have sex with her enough... I thought [for about 30 seconds] that maybe my guitar playing wasn't good enough, then realized that it wasn't the case and she just sucks.
#24
Quote by intheshadowplay
Two accidental heroin OD's on dope that was cut with fentanyl. I'm lucky to have survived both times. I'm much better now though.

Dude!! I purchased some "down" and just about snorted all of what I purchased. I don't remember what happened for 2 full days. My mom found me in the car, drooling all over myself, opened the door, yelled at me, then I ran upstairs where I laid in bed for the 2 days. At the time, it really didn't seem like there was anything wrong.
#25
Quote by intheshadowplay
Two accidental heroin OD's on dope that was cut with fentanyl. I'm lucky to have survived both times. I'm much better now though.

hey man happy to hear that you are doing better! dope is a very tough place and I am always happy when I see a friend recover, and I am happy for you as well.
Quote by Arthur Curry
it's official, vintage x metal is the saving grace of this board and/or the antichrist




e-married to
theguitarist
minterman22
tateandlyle
& alaskan_ninja

#26
Quote by vintage x metal
damn man. did anything happen with her mom in the past? I have said some mean ass shit to my dad in front of my husband BUT my dad has said waaayyy meaner things to me and to my husband too so he understands it when I can't control myself. I usually go for flight but sometimes fight kicks in if I feel cornered.

that is a tough one because it doesn't directly relate to you but it still makes you uncomfortable and says a lot about how she deals with problems

No, her mom is awesome! My girlfriend just calls her fat, tells her to lose weight, to go exercise, calls her a bitch, etc. I've never heard her talk like that to anyone, so to hear her do it to her mom is so unusual!

Oh yeah, my dad says some really nasty shit to me lol! He and I go at it sometimes, too [not sexually]! I'm pretty sure it always results in getting my ass beat because I can't muster up the courage to fight my dad back lol.
#27
Quote by Ablast
I had sex in the produce section


When I was working in the deli of a grocery store, there were at least 2 times that I remember where a customer fucking shit in produce. So, it could be worse.
Skip the username, call me Billy
#28
Quote by Piratejuice
No, her mom is awesome! My girlfriend just calls her fat, tells her to lose weight, to go exercise, calls her a bitch, etc. I've never heard her talk like that to anyone, so to hear her do it to her mom is so unusual!

Oh yeah, my dad says some really nasty shit to me lol! He and I go at it sometimes, too [not sexually]! I'm pretty sure it always results in getting my ass beat because I can't muster up the courage to fight my dad back lol.

lol, dads

man that sucks about your girlfriend and her mom. what does she say to you when you talk to her about it? I obviously don't know you or your life but I wouldn't blame you for breaking up with her; it would be scary to end up with someone who speaks that way to their loved ones.
Quote by Arthur Curry
it's official, vintage x metal is the saving grace of this board and/or the antichrist




e-married to
theguitarist
minterman22
tateandlyle
& alaskan_ninja

#29
Quote by aerosmithfan95
When I was working in the deli of a grocery store, there were at least 2 times that I remember where a customer fucking shit in produce. So, it could be worse.

That must happen much more often than I thought! My friend who worked part time at a grocery store here and some old lady was caught on camera crouching, dumping her wet diarrhea shits all over the floor, then putting her groceries down and walking out.

I'm not certain if shit just hit her then, or if she left the house fully aware that she wasn't feeling well...

They tried getting my friend, a part time guy who stocks, to clean up her shit... hah
#30
Quote by vintage x metal
lol, dads

man that sucks about your girlfriend and her mom. what does she say to you when you talk to her about it? I obviously don't know you or your life but I wouldn't blame you for breaking up with her; it would be scary to end up with someone who speaks that way to their loved ones.

Things like "I'm just joking around with her" or "she knows I'm fucking around". My thoughts exactly. I can't even imagine having to deal with a woman who will just pick on me and call out my insecurities/weaknesses like that. Maybe taking a little break from her will help emphasize just how much I dislike all of it
#31
stole a balloon
Eat your pheasant
Drink your wine
Your days are numbered, bourgeois swine!
#33
Quote by Piratejuice at #33615123
you've got a lot of courage


it was national free balloon day
Eat your pheasant
Drink your wine
Your days are numbered, bourgeois swine!
#34
Quote by Piratejuice
Things like "I'm just joking around with her" or "she knows I'm fucking around". My thoughts exactly. I can't even imagine having to deal with a woman who will just pick on me and call out my insecurities/weaknesses like that. Maybe taking a little break from her will help emphasize just how much I dislike all of it

unfortunately, sometimes space is the only way to get to a place where you can really communicate. really wonderful things have come out of times when I take space from my husband - even if it's just a night or a weekend sleeping on a friend's floor and having some "me" time. good for perspective on both sides, especially if she is just brushing this stuff off.
Quote by Arthur Curry
it's official, vintage x metal is the saving grace of this board and/or the antichrist




e-married to
theguitarist
minterman22
tateandlyle
& alaskan_ninja

#35
Quote by Bladez22
it was national free balloon day

kind of risky sharing such sensitive information with the internet, isn't it?
#36
nah for real though, i was a bit of a cvnt (and still am tbh) when i was younger

the thing i feel bad about the most was having to choose between two people who I liked and being like "yeah i think i like/love you more". It was a messy few months and i should've handled it better instead of stringing them both along while i decided
Eat your pheasant
Drink your wine
Your days are numbered, bourgeois swine!
#37
Quote by aerosmithfan95
When I was working in the deli of a grocery store, there were at least 2 times that I remember where a customer fucking shit in produce. So, it could be worse.

Intentionally shit or explosive diarrhea shit?
Xbox Live: DeSquared94
PSN: desquared94
#38
Quote by intheshadowplay
Two accidental heroin OD's on dope that was cut with fentanyl. I'm lucky to have survived both times. I'm much better now though.



OD's are the bane of my life, not mine personally, but people I care about.
A poem.
Quote by yoman297
no girl, movember isnt for you. shave your stache pls

I can out-bore you any day
#40
Quote by Piratejuice
Dude!! I purchased some "down" and just about snorted all of what I purchased. I don't remember what happened for 2 full days. My mom found me in the car, drooling all over myself, opened the door, yelled at me, then I ran upstairs where I laid in bed for the 2 days. At the time, it really didn't seem like there was anything wrong.


That sounds about right. You don't want to fuck around with that shit, and be glad you only snorted it. I used to inject, and that's much more dangerous, and addictive, in my opinion. I'd highly recommend you, and everybody else, stay away from it. Thanks everybody, I got into a methadone clinic and now it's been more than a year and a half since I've done dope. I'm in better health, my appearance is much better, my track marks have finally disappeared (those took way longer than I thought they would), and I'm much happier. Methadone isn't for everybody, but it saved my life, no joke.
I've got the spirit, but lose the feeling.
Page 1 of 4