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#1
i was just chilling at the basketball court after school like, just now. me and my friends were chilling, and shooting hoops, and everything was going GREAT.

anyway, we were smoking weed. this douche bag with huge gauged ears and tattoos and a neckbeard came up with his crew and they were asking for a toke. I know this guy personally and he is a total fuck. he has 3 kids and he is only 20 years old. he's been in jail for drug possession and trespassing and breaking and entering.

anyway things got kinda ugly. he started threatening my friend because he fucked his ex-girlfriend at a party. I didn't take kindly to this bullshit and stood in his way. he proceeded to choke me out and all my friends came to my rescue. there was a brawl, but we outnumbered them and were able to fend them off. we dispersed when we realized there was somebody watching who was talking on the phone watching us, which we presumed was the cops on the other line. This was confirmed when a cop pulled up beside me when I was walking back to my car and asked me if I knew anything about the brawl (which I denied).

holy fuck the adrenaline rush...
#2
I was expecting some sort of Fresh Prince reference.

Quote by Diemon Dave
Don't go ninjerin nobody don't need ninjerin'
#3
I am unsurprised, I suspect there are many people who would like to choke you out.

Hell, I'd like to beat the crap out of you and I don't even know you.
“Ignorance more frequently begets confidence than does knowledge.”
Charles Darwin
#4
Quote by Arby911
I am unsurprised, I suspect there are many people who would like to choke you out.

Hell, I'd like to beat the crap out of you and I don't even know you.

why?
#5
Don't mind Arby. What with the blood moon happening recently, he's been coping with his animal instincts.

The werewolf will rise once more.
Quote by EndTheRapture51
who pays five hundred fucking dollars for a burger
#6
Quote by DQcrewmember
why?


Prolly cause you come off like a dumb doucheface.


That would be my guess anyway
Quote by zgr0826
My culture is worthless and absolutely inferior to the almighty Leaf.


Quote by JustRooster
I incurred the wrath of the Association of White Knights. Specifically the Parent's Basement branch of service.
#7
So you got merked and your squad had to jump in to save you?
#9
Quote by DQcrewmember
why?


As most people of average or above intelligence would surmise, it has to do with what you've posted here. I'm a big fan of trying to reason with people if I think they are in error, but there are occasionally exceptions.
“Ignorance more frequently begets confidence than does knowledge.”
Charles Darwin
#10
I gave a stripper an orgasm while she was working but you don't see me starting a thread about it. Douche alarm!
***************Sig***************
Taylor 314 & GS Mini & Martin LX1
#14
Leaving the scene was a bad idea.
Quote by DQcrewmember
how do you ban people from posting in your threads?

Quote by H4T3BR33D3R
You don't

Quote by Zaphikh
"Why are we here?"


"Plastic... asshole."
#15
Quote by DQcrewmember
i was just chilling at the basketball court after school like, just now. me and my friends were chilling, and shooting hoops, and everything was going GREAT.

anyway, we were smoking weed. this douche bag with huge gauged ears and tattoos and a neckbeard came up with his crew and they were asking for a toke. I know this guy personally and he is a total fuck. he has 3 kids and he is only 20 years old. he's been in jail for drug possession and trespassing and breaking and entering.

anyway things got kinda ugly. he started threatening my friend because he fucked his ex-girlfriend at a party. I didn't take kindly to this bullshit and stood in his way. he proceeded to choke me out and all my friends came to my rescue. there was a brawl, but we outnumbered them and were able to fend them off. we dispersed when we realized there was somebody watching who was talking on the phone watching us, which we presumed was the cops on the other line. This was confirmed when a cop pulled up beside me when I was walking back to my car and asked me if I knew anything about the brawl (which I denied).

holy fuck the adrenaline rush...


didnt you just go to jail for that?

how can you judge?
Last edited by Magnumopus7001 at Sep 30, 2015,
#16
Quote by MetalMullet
Shooting hoops? Who talks like that?

People who don't know the appropriate terminology is "shootin' some b-ball outside of the school".
Quote by Diemon Dave
Don't go ninjerin nobody don't need ninjerin'
#17
Quote by MetalMullet
Shooting hoops? Who talks like that?

no dude he had guns and he was literally shooting hula hoops. we do it all the time here
#18
Quote by Arby911 at #33617557
I am unsurprised, I suspect there are many people who would like to choke you out.

Hell, I'd like to beat the crap out of you and I don't even know you.

Lol
Free Ali
Free Lard
#19
Quote by MetalMullet at #33617732
Shooting hoops? Who talks like that?

like everyone I've ever played basketball with, lol
___

Quote by The_Blode
she was saying things like... do you want to netflix and chill but just the chill part...too bad she'll never know that I only like the Netflix part...
#21
Did he harm your neck mole?
Quote by DisarmGoliath
Facesitting is a violation of freedom of speech, because how can you speak when you have an ass covering your face?
#22
Quote by fingerguy
I gave a stripper an orgasm while she was working but you don't see me starting a thread about it. Douche alarm!

Buuuuullshit!!!...Seriously though. Now you HAVE to tell the story...if you're not gonna make a thread at least post it here. I gotta whole bunch stripper stories...ahhh good times...
#23
tl;dr TS had his first homosexual erotic asphyxiation experience and liked the rush it gave his jimmies

#24
Quote by Aeolian Harmony at #33617921
TS is slowly transforming from a real human being into a dank meme.

To be a master of memes you must become the meme.
#26
Quote by killaudio666
Buuuuullshit!!!...Seriously though. Now you HAVE to tell the story...if you're not gonna make a thread at least post it here. I gotta whole bunch stripper stories...ahhh good times...


For the record "I thought too she was faking it" but she after confirmed it did happen.

I am at work so will type a short version of it.

Happened when it was decided me and my ex-wife would get a divorced. A good friend and another guy wanted to take me out for beers and strippers. So we went to a nice restaurant got a meal and then head to the club. Not sure if they told the ladies what happened or/and why we were there but they would not leave me alone. Finally I got a lap dance here and there but there was one in particular I liked for she fit the type I find most appealing: the rock and roller chick. Thin, fit, tattoos and seemed like a cool chick. She also got my attention with a quick shoulder massage (turned out on the side she is going to massaging school). So it goes without saying she got me to agree to a lap dance.

Well that lap dance turned into 3 lap dances. Around the 3rd she started breaking the rules and was getting closer and more touchy feely like this wasn't a transaction. I too was feeling the chemistry or hormones (not that it matters) and I decided to test the waters. So I started to kiss her on the neck and places and she allowed me to do it. So I didn't stop and then I found this spot on her shoulder where just about the neck and shoulder meet that is her sensitive spot. How do I know? Well when I hit that spot she said out-loud "Oh that is the spot." Well being with someone for 11 years you learn once you hit the spot, you focus on the spot and that is what I did.

Before the song was over she was moaning shaking, hips gyrating and heavy breathing. When the shaking finally stopped and the song was still playing she leaned back with this shit eating grin and once I saw that I knew, but I had to be sure. "Did you really cum" I ask and she replies by pointing and shaking her head and saying something like "NO ONE I MEAN NO ONE EVER DID THAT TO ME...NO ONE EVER EXCEPT YOU YOU YOU"

There you have it!
***************Sig***************
Taylor 314 & GS Mini & Martin LX1
#28
Quote by MetalMullet
Did you go out with her?


I got her number after and called her but the conversation was so awkward considering how we met and what happened that neither of us pursued it after the first call. Not sure if I am the right guy to date a stripper. I have had my share but never as a girlfriend; not sure if I could handle them continue the business as my woman. So I guess it was all for the best.
***************Sig***************
Taylor 314 & GS Mini & Martin LX1
#30
Quote by fingerguy

"NO ONE I MEAN NO ONE EVER DID THAT TO ME...NO ONE EVER EXCEPT YOU YOU YOU"


I wish I had a dollar for every time I had stripper tell me that one. Lol. But yea if a stripper likes you, she'll pretty much let you do anything to her...I've never heard of any "rules" at the strip clubs I been to, it's pretty much anything goes. Just depends on the girl..

The first rule of Strip club is: You do NOT talk about strip club...
#31
Quote by killaudio666
I wish I had a dollar for every time I had stripper tell me that one. Lol. But yea if a stripper likes you, she'll pretty much let you do anything to her...I've never heard of any "rules" at the strip clubs I been to, it's pretty much anything goes. Just depends on the girl..

The first rule of Strip club is: You do NOT talk about strip club...


Well not sure where you live but in places like Montreal in Canada I hear touching is encouraged. Where I live it's more the bouncers enforcing the rules than the girls.

But she did cum and it was really cool. Doesn't shock me while the majority needs direct clit stimulation, there those (non-stripper related) that have easily orgasm from:
Nipple Play
Domination/pain/choking/etc...
BJ's <===I am not kidding I had girls cum from giving head and choking on my c....
Anal <---- first girl comes to mind is the same one that came from the previous mentioned
I had a girl orgasm from being spanked.
So this stripper coming from me working one specific spot is not unlikely at all especially when your sexuality falls into the freak category.
***************Sig***************
Taylor 314 & GS Mini & Martin LX1
#32
Quote by DQcrewmember
dude, fuck you

Go fuck yourself.
Quote by Diemon Dave
Don't go ninjerin nobody don't need ninjerin'
#33
Can the two of you get a room?
***************Sig***************
Taylor 314 & GS Mini & Martin LX1
#34
Quote by fingerguy
Can the two of you get a room?



Might need to get an extra pull out bed for the neck mole though.
Quote by zgr0826
My culture is worthless and absolutely inferior to the almighty Leaf.


Quote by JustRooster
I incurred the wrath of the Association of White Knights. Specifically the Parent's Basement branch of service.
#35
I've had many a stripper leave wet white splotches on my pants after grinding me and letting me kiss their neck. I also had, quite literally, over 200 lap dances between 2008 and 2011 when I was in Vegas. So my odds of making this happen were quite high
#36
Quote by bdof
I've had many a stripper leave wet white splotches on my pants after grinding me and letting me kiss their neck. I also had, quite literally, over 200 lap dances between 2008 and 2011 when I was in Vegas. So my odds of making this happen were quite high


?

Were these strippers male?

“Ignorance more frequently begets confidence than does knowledge.”
Charles Darwin
#37
Quote by bdof
I've had many a stripper leave wet white splotches on my pants after grinding me and letting me kiss their neck. I also had, quite literally, over 200 lap dances between 2008 and 2011 when I was in Vegas. So my odds of making this happen were quite high


And you are bragging about this? Think about it, on average a lap dance maybe with tip is $20. So you take 20 x 200 = $4000. I have bought girls $121.00 dinners and had my brains fucked and sucked all night. You paid about $4000 and all you got were wet spots on your pants and you are bragging? Sad!!! Sad sad sad!!!!
***************Sig***************
Taylor 314 & GS Mini & Martin LX1
#40
Quote by fingerguy
And you are bragging about this? Think about it, on average a lap dance maybe with tip is $20. So you take 20 x 200 = $4000. I have bought girls $121.00 dinners and had my brains fucked and sucked all night. You paid about $4000 and all you got were wet spots on your pants and you are bragging? Sad!!! Sad sad sad!!!!

Get on my level, and get your hole for a rum & coke.
Quote by Diemon Dave
Don't go ninjerin nobody don't need ninjerin'
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