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#1
so some people on this website think that i am gay but thats bullshit dont listen to them i just have a friend who is bicurious but it has nothing to do with me so please stop bringing it up

anyway i have a gf and we have sex and stuff but she doesnt always want it when i want it so some days i fap but i never know wether she will want sex later or not so last night i couldnt get it up because i had just fapped like two hours before

also normally i have no problems getting it up because she is very hot and i am very attracted to hot women but even though most of you wont have gfs maybe someone knows how to tell wether a gril wants to sex you or not and can help me

also she doesnt want to give me bjs because she says it tastes like piss but like thats normal i mean thats where pee comes from and her vagina kind of tastes a bit like piss as well when i start licking her but i dont mind so is she just being a bitch maybe i should get another gf
You who build these altars now

To sacrifice these children
You must not do it anymore
#2
i'm single.
mugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmug
#3
Fapping is gay. You are literally holding a man's penis. Unless you're underage in which case you're holding a boy's penis and that makes you a pedo. Are you a pedo bartender?
#4
You sound like a 12 year old who discovered his first boner
Come back if you want to
And remember who you are
‘Cause there's nothing here for you my dear
And everything must pass
#5
Quote by i_lovemetallica
You sound like a 12 year old who discovered his first boner

Kind of a late start.
Quote by Diemon Dave
Don't go ninjerin nobody don't need ninjerin'
#6
Quote by slapsymcdougal
Kind of a late start.

I get the impression that TS isn't too quick off the draw

EDIT: He may as well have tried to convince us by saying "I enjoy putting my penis in her vagina", aka, how 12 year olds trying to one-up their mates talk
Come back if you want to
And remember who you are
‘Cause there's nothing here for you my dear
And everything must pass
#7
Quote by RAB11
Fapping is gay. You are literally holding a man's penis. Unless you're underage in which case you're holding a boy's penis and that makes you a pedo. Are you a pedo bartender?

no i dont like boys seriously if this is the first thing that comes up in your mind then you are probably a gay pedo

and this is a serious question guys please im not 12
You who build these altars now

To sacrifice these children
You must not do it anymore
#9
Mate, do you ever think about who's on the other side of the screen reading your posts? If I was Chris Hansen I'd ask you to take a seat, take a seat over there.
#10
Quote by the bartender
so some people on this website think that i am gay but thats bullshit dont listen to them i just have a friend who is bicurious but it has nothing to do with me so please stop bringing it up

anyway i have a gf and we have sex and stuff but she doesnt always want it when i want it so some days i fap but i never know wether she will want sex later or not so last night i couldnt get it up because i had just fapped like two hours before

also normally i have no problems getting it up because she is very hot and i am very attracted to hot women but even though most of you wont have gfs maybe someone knows how to tell wether a gril wants to sex you or not and can help me

also she doesnt want to give me bjs because she says it tastes like piss but like thats normal i mean thats where pee comes from and her vagina kind of tastes a bit like piss as well when i start licking her but i dont mind so is she just being a bitch maybe i should get another gf

I'll address your post paragraph by paragraph;
1) That thread was massive homo, that's not a bad thing, and if that's the way you swing, then more power to you.

2) Sex is unpredictable, if you create a schedule, you'll turn into that boring couple and then there will be no passion in your relationship. As to not being able to get it hard, that's just part of life, some days I can fap and then have sex later, others I can't get it up even if I haven't fapped in days. There's a lot going on behind the scenes here.

3) You're insecure about your sexuality. We get it.

4) Not all girls like giving BJs, just like not all guys like going down on girls. If she doesn't like it, she's under no obligation to give you one, and if you seriously think she's "Just being a bitch" for not giving you head, then I hope your relationship crumbles and she then hooks up with and marries your brother, and gives him a BJ in front of you at their wedding.

In summary TS, grow the fuck up
Come back if you want to
And remember who you are
‘Cause there's nothing here for you my dear
And everything must pass
#11
the only reason we keep bringing up the whole anal toy issue is because you deny it so much, it's amusing to watch you get petulant over it.

EDIT:
Quote by i_lovemetallica
In summary TS, grow the fuck up

yeah, I'm sorry to say but you nearly always sound like a whiny 14.
A poem.
Quote by yoman297
no girl, movember isnt for you. shave your stache pls

I can out-bore you any day
Last edited by Pastafarian96 at Oct 6, 2015,
#12
Quote by Pastafarian96
the only reason we keep bringing up the whole anal toy issue is because you deny it so much, it's amusing to watch you get petulant over it.

It's not so much that he denies it, it's that pretty much every time he posts he draws our attention to it, thus fueling the fire.
Come back if you want to
And remember who you are
‘Cause there's nothing here for you my dear
And everything must pass
#13
Quote by the bartender
no i dont like boys seriously if this is the first thing that comes up in your mind then you are probably a gay pedo

and this is a serious question guys please im not 12
I didn't see a question anywhere in OP.

Come to think of it, I didn't even see a period.
Quote by snipelfritz
You lost me at "Lubricate."

I'm raw, like nature. Nature boy. Big jungle leaves are my cum rags.

Sometimes I fuck a bamboo shoot.


There's nothing left here to be saved
Just barreling dogs and barking trains
Another year lost to the blue line
#14
Quote by i_lovemetallica
4) Not all girls like giving BJs, just like not all guys like going down on girls. If she doesn't like it, she's under no obligation to give you one, and if you seriously think she's "Just being a bitch" for not giving you head, then I hope your relationship crumbles and she then hooks up with and marries your brother, and gives him a BJ in front of you at their wedding.

Something old,
something new,
something borrowed,
something blue,
and a silver sixpenceyour brother's penis in her shoemouth.
#15
Quote by ultimate-slash
Something old,
something new,
something borrowed,
something blue,
and a silver sixpenceyour brother's penis in her shoemouth.

a modern twist on a classic!
Come back if you want to
And remember who you are
‘Cause there's nothing here for you my dear
And everything must pass
#17
Quote by Joshua Garcia
I didn't see a question anywhere in OP.

Come to think of it, I didn't even see a period.

Well boys don't get periods Josh.
#19
Quote by ultimate-slash
Yeah, it's probably rectal bleeding.

from the entrance of foreign bodies
A poem.
Quote by yoman297
no girl, movember isnt for you. shave your stache pls

I can out-bore you any day
#20
Quote by the bartender
so some people on this website think that i am gay but thats bullshit dont listen to them i just have a friend who is bicurious but it has nothing to do with me so please stop bringing it up

anyway i have a gf and we have sex and stuff but she doesnt always want it when i want it so some days i fap but i never know wether she will want sex later or not so last night i couldnt get it up because i had just fapped like two hours before

also normally i have no problems getting it up because she is very hot and i am very attracted to hot women but even though most of you wont have gfs maybe someone knows how to tell wether a gril wants to sex you or not and can help me

also she doesnt want to give me bjs because she says it tastes like piss but like thats normal i mean thats where pee comes from and her vagina kind of tastes a bit like piss as well when i start licking her but i dont mind so is she just being a bitch maybe i should get another gf



Why are you typing like this?
OBEY THE MIGHTY SHITKICKER
#21
Holy fuck, batman.

PUNCTUATION BITCH. DO YOU USE IT?
Seattle Seahawks


Quote by chookiecookie
i feel like you have an obsession with aubrey plaza.


Quote by WCPhils
at least we can all agree SGstriker is the woooooooooooooooooooooorst
#22
I say BS you are a virgin and love the cock!

Quote by the bartender
so some people on this website think that i am gay but thats bullshit dont listen to them i just have a friend who is bicurious but it has nothing to do with me so please stop bringing it up

anyway i have a gf and we have sex and stuff but she doesnt always want it when i want it so some days i fap but i never know wether she will want sex later or not so last night i couldnt get it up because i had just fapped like two hours before

also normally i have no problems getting it up because she is very hot and i am very attracted to hot women but even though most of you wont have gfs maybe someone knows how to tell wether a gril wants to sex you or not and can help me

also she doesnt want to give me bjs because she says it tastes like piss but like thats normal i mean thats where pee comes from and her vagina kind of tastes a bit like piss as well when i start licking her but i dont mind so is she just being a bitch maybe i should get another gf
***************Sig***************
Taylor 314 & GS Mini & Martin LX1
#23
Quote by ultimate-slash
"Sweety, will you be needing my penis later or can I use it now?"

Quote by korinaflyingv
On the come up we were listening to Grateful Dead and the music started passing through my bowel and out my arsehole as this violet stream of light. I shat music. It was beautiful.
#24
Ugh.............

The only thing worth responding to is the BJ part. MAYBE it tastes like piss to her because you're inconsiderate and don't freshen up prior to putting your penis in her mouth. No girl wants to taste or smell "all day balls" that you keep in jeans and go run around and do errands with. Yeah, I'm gonna go mow the lawn, and then ask the Mrs to blow me

It's the same with vaginas. They're a mess and stink like a garbage pile after 10+ hours without freshening up. Why don't you both have the courtesy to freshen up before sex. It's so much better to have sex without nose plugs and having to breath through your mouth the whole time
#25
Nobody's picking up TS's trolling? Okay.
Quote by Kill A Kitten
You know that old saying: "Men who play bass in the band have the largest genitalia." Well, it's the same for women.
#26
ok i get it this has carried on long enough you guys are just laughing at me behind my back and not even helping me i will leave this site and hope that you enjoy your fat virgin lives goodbye
You who build these altars now

To sacrifice these children
You must not do it anymore
#27
Quote by Low Man's Lyric
Nobody's picking up TS's trolling? Okay.

the pit generally has a pretty hard time with that
Quote by korinaflyingv
On the come up we were listening to Grateful Dead and the music started passing through my bowel and out my arsehole as this violet stream of light. I shat music. It was beautiful.
#28
Actually TS, I've always enjoyed your posts. You never really stood out, but I noticed, if it makes you feel any better.

I think this is the first time I've seen you make a thread though and I still have no idea what you're actually asking.
Quote by snipelfritz
You lost me at "Lubricate."

I'm raw, like nature. Nature boy. Big jungle leaves are my cum rags.

Sometimes I fuck a bamboo shoot.


There's nothing left here to be saved
Just barreling dogs and barking trains
Another year lost to the blue line
#29
Quote by i_lovemetallica

4) Not all girls like giving BJs, just like not all guys like going down on girls. If she doesn't like it, she's under no obligation to give you one, and if you seriously think she's "Just being a bitch" for not giving you head, then I hope your relationship crumbles and she then hooks up with and marries your brother, and gives him a BJ in front of you at their wedding.

In summary TS, grow the fuck up

no, its not chill to refuse to go down on your significant other regardless of gender
#31
Quote by the bartender


anyway i have a gf and we have sex and stuff but she doesnt always want it when i want it so some days i fap but i never know wether she will want sex later or not so last night i couldnt get it up because i had just fapped like two hours before


You have a pathetic recovery time...
“Ignorance more frequently begets confidence than does knowledge.”
Charles Darwin
#32
Wrong thread. Delete!
***************Sig***************
Taylor 314 & GS Mini & Martin LX1
#33
Fapping is virtually the same. Might as well just fap and dump her.
#34
Quote by the bartender

and this is a serious question guys please im not 12

>Minecraft cake avatar

yeah, sure
#35
Quote by bdof
Ugh.............

The only thing worth responding to is the BJ part. MAYBE it tastes like piss to her because you're inconsiderate and don't freshen up prior to putting your penis in her mouth. No girl wants to taste or smell "all day balls" that you keep in jeans and go run around and do errands with. Yeah, I'm gonna go mow the lawn, and then ask the Mrs to blow me

It's the same with vaginas. They're a mess and stink like a garbage pile after 10+ hours without freshening up. Why don't you both have the courtesy to freshen up before sex. It's so much better to have sex without nose plugs and having to breath through your mouth the whole time


Pheromones maybe?

Honestly, don't leave us Bartender me so sowwy.
Quote by DQcrewmember
how do you ban people from posting in your threads?

Quote by H4T3BR33D3R
You don't

Quote by Zaphikh
"Why are we here?"


"Plastic... asshole."
Last edited by drunkseph at Oct 6, 2015,
#36
I think I just realized that this is bartender doing a Phillip Pepper impression.
OBEY THE MIGHTY SHITKICKER
#37
Quote by JustRooster
I think I just realized that this is bartender doing a Phillip Pepper impression.


Another UG member? I see it all the time on another forum I moderate. It gets old!
***************Sig***************
Taylor 314 & GS Mini & Martin LX1
#38
Come on guys we have to reassure him, obviously he can't go to his "girlfriend" with these kind of things.
Quote by DQcrewmember
how do you ban people from posting in your threads?

Quote by H4T3BR33D3R
You don't

Quote by Zaphikh
"Why are we here?"


"Plastic... asshole."
#39
Quote by i_lovemetallica
4) Not all girls like giving BJs, just like not all guys like going down on girls. If she doesn't like it, she's under no obligation to give you one, and if you seriously think she's "Just being a bitch" for not giving you head, then I hope your relationship crumbles and she then hooks up with and marries your brother, and gives him a BJ in front of you at their wedding.


you seem to be unaware that there has to be some level of reciprocation going on. i'd always go down on my ex (because i enjoyed it really, but...), and i ask her to do things for me (blowjobs, yeah) but she'd say she would and then always be like "eeeh i don't wanna". and it's not like it was a result of my hygiene or anything in particular either. funny thing is that she'd be begging me to go down on her whenever we made sex (#notsohumblebrag, cause there will be some fucker who points it out when i'm simply trying to explain a point)

it's like, there's always gotta be some give and take. also, missionary gets boring after awhile and she'd never want to do anything else, or even be on top. much less, even get touchy with me - foreplay was like nonexistent on that side of things - but i was doing that for her. i wanted to work at it, but she didn't.

you don't reciprocate? i'm not interested, sorry. maybe in TS's case, she's doing other things to make up for it in some way. but there's not enough information, and you're being excessively hostile.
Last edited by Dregen at Oct 6, 2015,
#40
Quote by drunkseph
Come on guys we have to reassure him, obviously he can't go to his "girlfriend" with these kind of things.


I have a gf and we have sex and stuff....there is no helping/encouraging that. He needs to mature first then go from there.
***************Sig***************
Taylor 314 & GS Mini & Martin LX1
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