#1
Hi guys, this is the first song I have written in years. C4C.

I am not much of a singer so please excuse: https://soundcloud.com/couragous-coward/deciduous

As seasons change,
I walk past you everyday.
Those trees around you,
Their leaves start breaking through;
From grey, to blue.
And then there's you; there's you.

The blank canvas in the room,
On the wall, next to, Pablo and Van Gough.

And it hurts, when they stare,
Looking for the colors that used to be there.
Looking for the colors that used to be there.

Spring comes round again,
I walk past there everyday.
Your withered roots remain, fighting day to day.
And those trees around you,
Their leaves start breaking through;
From grey, to blue.
From grey, to blue.
From grey, to blue.
And all I see is you.

And all I see is you.
And all I see is you.
And all I see is you.
The times are changing
#2
Hey man. I liked the vibe of this song. Very minimalist and sounded honest. The vocals were my favourite part. The guitar fitted the song but try EQ'ing the tone slightly- the tone is very boomy and I'd try cutting out some of the low end. Other than that I thought this was a solid tune!

C4C? https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1688703
#3
Thanks for the feedback!I would suggest making more dynamic changes in the chorus. Maybe let your voice really come out and wow the listener. I'd also invest in a decent microphone! keep up the good work!
#4
Thank you for the crit

Love the mood of this track, it kind of reminds me of Brand New, hope that's not an offence because I think they are a great band! your lyrics are great too, and I find that you could find a lot of different meanings from this track and take what you will from it the minimalist style of the track works really well too, I don't think this kind of track would work well with a band so its great how it is, good work man it was an enjoyable listen
#6
Hey man,

Firstly, thanks for your detailed comment on my thread. Secondly, I'm very sorry for the delay, but I have only recently been able to check ultimate guitar.

Anyway, my thoughts on the track:
I like the style and genre, can't go wrong with a bit of folk

The mood of this track is very deep and complex for what is a fairly simple composition, to me, it is a very dark and piece, it was calm soothing on the surface but it had dark and chilling undertones of anger and frustration (just my interpretation. Listening to the lyrics, I imagine the internal ramblings of a paranoid mad man burdened with obsessions, watching the world go on and on in an endless cycle. Just my interpretation, I could be entirely wrong Regardless of the meaning of the words, it is certainly a very evocative piece.

The vocals were well suited to the tone of the piece and with some teaching and practice they could be improved, though I think that there is much to be said for the rustic and authentic sound of a slightly broken vocal tone, brings the dark honesty of the music out.

I liked the bridge, it lifted the mood a little but only for a short while, soon returning to the lonely, bitter mood that underpin the song. This seemed to emphasise the theme of monotony and frustration; fleeting hopes being crushed and all that. I think that the chorus could have been louder and more distinct, the monotony should be broken now and then with brief periods of relative intensity to keep the track from getting boring (not that this is boring, just something I noticed that could improve the track).

Nice work, hope to hear more
#7
you have a super nice voice. the guitar seems really muddy, but i really like the rhythm and you sound very talented. i'd d say that you have a very distinct sound, and that i want to hear somehigher quality recordings from you. i think it would also help to flesh out your voice using a better mic or program. cool song and i dig the lyrics.