#1
Avalanche

Out here everything is lost
In a blanket of silence
Asleep in the frost

So pristine
On these empty streets
So follow me
Into the velveteen

This numbing cold
Cuts straight to the bone
And out here alone
You can follow
The tracks
Back home

Onwards now
We'll run to the clouds
Getting warmer now
I can see the peaks
Standing over me

Every step could be our death
A slip, a fall, a broken neck
Our body heat, is all we need
But who will hold our memory?

Let's scream down the mountain side
Let's bring it all down
Let's scream down the mountain side
Let's Rip the roots out
Let's scream down the mountain side
Let's scream our lungs out
Let's scream down the mountain side
Let's get it all out.
Attachments:
Avalanche.ptb
#2
I really like the song lyrically and musically as individual pieces but, for me at least, I'd love to know how those two are connected in song as a whole. Lyrics are one thing and so is music but to create a melody that comfortably sits those lyrics upon said music is another and, in my opinion, the ultimate determining factor of the quality of a song.

Nonetheless, I search through the songwriting/lyrics forum quite a bit and never have felt the need to actually reply to a post about how much I like it until now.

I, too, have written a song titled "Avalanche" and I think it's interesting to see how different people craft songs that have the same title. <- (That sentence could have been worded better but I'm tired and don't feel like fully explaining what I mean as I assume you understand).

I really like the last lyrical section of the song and would hope that that is supposed to be over the distorted part of the powertab as I climactic end to the song.


My only specific issue with the song (and Its incredibly possible this is just me) is the line
So follow me
Into the velveteen

Here, the word "Velveteen" jumps out as one of those words that somebody pulled out a rhyming dictionary to find and it just bothers me because of that.
Weast? What kind of compass are you reading lad?
#3
Thank you very much for the in depth response.
I have a very old demo of the song here If you want to hear how the parts fit together,

https://soundcloud.com/myfriendpatience/avalanche-1

At the moment I'm finally getting round to actually recording a whole bucket load of old songs (I've been meaning to do this for about 7 years!) so there should be a proper recording of this soon, when I've figured out how to use the bastard recording software, and figured out how to write authentic sounding orchestral scores.

And I know exactly what you mean about the word velveteen, no it wasn't from a rhyming dictionary or anything like that, at the time I wrote this I was listening to a lot of Jose Gonzalez, he has a song called dead weight on velveteen, and I really like the word and Mr. Gonzalez has greatly influenced my writing.

Thanks again man, would be interested in seeing/hearing your avalanche.


(Oh and I've learnt to sing a great deal better than that 6 year old recording....I Hope)
Last edited by Stonesatreyu at Dec 1, 2015,
#4
Sorry it's taken me so long to reply, I've just been quite busy these past few days and, in all honesty, forgot that I had replied to you because I rarely ever post on UG, but....

That song was amazing! Especially for as minimalistic-ally created it was!
I feel like the vocals could have been a little more dynamic (as far as range and volume go) to match the instrumentation but, as you said, that was from a long time ago and you likely sing better now.

I can't wait to hear your proper recording whenever you do record it because it really is a great song that actually moved me and took me on a journey to where I felt like I was a "part" of the song - or even that I was witnessing it firsthand, not that I was merely "listening" to it (very few songs have ever done this to me and I truly appreciate any that do).

figured out how to use the bastard recording software, and figured out how to write authentic sounding orchestral scores.
<-- my goals everyday, exactly

I apologize for criticizing your use of the word "Velveteen" considering it was so important to you. I know how certain influences aren't always appreciated by everyone, and I will concede that the word is not as odd-sounding when you actually sing it, compared to how it appears typed in the lyrics, alone.

I seriously, seriously like the song though and you mentioned that there would be an orchestral part of it (in the quoted part above) which, to me, is very intriguing as I love the combination of guitars and orchestras in modern music.

I appreciate your interest in my version but my "avalanche' song is, like most of my songs, merely chords and an outline of a lyrical story, that I have yet to actually develop into a proper song because I just never have enough time to really sit down and record; however, the story of the song essentially is how people's relationships act as a metaphor to the inevitable destruction caused by an avalanche. No matter how much you care about somebody, there will always be that eventual fight, problem, lie, etc. that happens (the avalanche) and nothing can ever be the same after that. And the song is about the idea of avoiding that avalanche for as long as you can, and swearing to love someone throughout the destruction, hoping they'll do the same and you'll survive the cold.

I had actual lyrics written down somewhere but I have no idea what I did with them. Maybe I'll write some and post them here (depending on how long it takes me to actually get around to writing them) or message them to you (because I'm not actually really interested in posting them to the Songwriting & Lyric forum).

I seriously can't get over how impressive that demo is, considering it being only an acoustic guitar and your voice - sometimes the two most powerful tools in music. I've always held the idea that the ability to create an emotionally powerful and moving song played only an acoustic guitar and sung is the most important, and also most difficult to attain, skill in music that very few people actually posses.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RLq7Aqd_H7g

This performance comes to mind (both as an example of an influence (for me) that not everyone appreciates, as I mentioned about Jose Gonzalez for you, and also as an example of a moving acoustic + vox performance) if you're interested..

Sorry for the excessively long post, and excessive use of parentheses (but not really )
Weast? What kind of compass are you reading lad?
Last edited by Jaywalk777 at Dec 5, 2015,