Every year at Christmas we do the whole cracker + tell the lame jokes at the dinner table. This year I'll stump my family with some riddles.

Sure I could google some riddles, but then I have to filter through shit ones.

Here's some of my faves:

You're in a building, there are three light switches that control a filament bulb in the attic.

Your task is to find out which of the three light switches control the bulb in the attic. BUT you can only go upstairs to check the bulb ONCE.

FAQ: No you can't see the light in any way from downstairs. You don't have mirrors.
You don't have tools or any nonsense to look at the wiring.
There is no one there to assist you.

You have two lengths of fuse (like dynamite fuses, not electrical fuses). Each one burns for 60 minutes, however they do not burn linearly.

eg. It might burn the first 3cm in 10 minutes and the next 3cm in 15 minutes.

The task is to time 45 minutes using the two fuses.

FAQ: No you don't have a watch, you don't have a sun dial or any other nonsense. All you have is the two fuses and a way of lighting them.
You don't know the rate that either of them will burn, or even if they will burn at the same rate. All you know is the entire length of each fuse will burn in 60 minutes.

This one everyone must know by now...

4 men are buried up to their necks in the ground. The first man faces to the right, the other three face to the left, but there is a wall between them. The man on the left can't see the other three, and vice versa.

Each man has a hat, 2 men have black hats, 2 have white hats.

The executioner tells them if anyone can guess the colour of their own hat, they can go free, but if they're wrong, they die.

Which man will go free?

FAQ: They have no interest in helping or communicating with each other because they will die as soon as the first one goes free.
They're not gamblers, they don't want to risk the 50/50 chance.

There are multiple solutions to this, but it's about the bulb heating up.

You can turn on the first two switches, wait 30 minutes, turn off the first switch and then go upstairs to check the bulb.

If it's off and hot, it was the first switch. If it's on, it's the second switch. If it's off and cold, it's the third switch.

You light two ends of the first fuse, and one end of the second fuse.

The first fuse will burn away in 30 minutes. At this point the 2nd fuse will also be 30 minutes burned, and so have 30 minutes remaining, so you light the other end of the second fuse. It will now burn in 15 minutes, giving 45 minutes total.

C is the guy that can confidently say his hat colour.

Guy A can't see shit so he has no idea. Guy B also has no information so he can't say anything.

Guy D can only see Guys B and C, who have a white and black hat, so he can't confidently say either way.

Guy C realises that if Guy D can't confidently say his hat colour, then his own hat must be the opposite of the guy infront of him.

I can't be bothered to read through these now so if I've said them wrong then let me know and I'll edit them...
You have a single match and are in a pitch black room with a candle, an oil lamp and a gas stove. Which do you light first?

the match, obviously

usually catches people out if they haven't heard it before
dirtbag ballet by the bins down the alley
as i walk through the chalet of the shadow of death
everything that you've come to expect

The real riddle is why anyone would think this is a good thing to do at Christmas dinner.
Quote by Diemon Dave
Don't go ninjerin nobody don't need ninjerin'
Quote by slapsymcdougal
The real riddle is why anyone would think this is a good thing to do at Christmas dinner.

Because it's fun. Some people like riddles.
What's in my pocket?
There's no such thing; there never was. Where I am going you cannot follow me now.
The precious
dirtbag ballet by the bins down the alley
as i walk through the chalet of the shadow of death
everything that you've come to expect

Quote by Gaz_m2k5
Because it's fun. Some people like riddles.

And they should be taken immediately to reeducation camps.
Quote by Diemon Dave
Don't go ninjerin nobody don't need ninjerin'
So you're saying the hat guys A and B rather die than take the 50/50 chance
WHAT A
HORRIBLE
NIGHT TO
HAVE A
CURSE.
maybe the executioner is like "pls show ur working"
dirtbag ballet by the bins down the alley
as i walk through the chalet of the shadow of death
everything that you've come to expect

Quote by slapsymcdougal
And they should be taken immediately to reeducation camps.

If you don't like riddles, why would you come in this thread?

That's a rhetorical question, and everyone knows the answer.

Quote by Trowzaa
maybe the executioner is like "pls show ur working"

Err. let's say this.
I guess he just doesn't want A/B live? What a dick
WHAT A
HORRIBLE
NIGHT TO
HAVE A
CURSE.
What's red and smells like blue paint?

Red paint.
Ах, так вы не пьете и не курите?
Хорошо для вас: вы здоровым умрете!
Quote by Gaz_m2k5
If you don't like riddles, why would you come in this thread?

That's a rhetorical question, and everyone knows the answer.

Err. let's say this.

Because if I had found one in here that was entertaining, I'd have been prepared to change my mind, but your riddles are seriously worse than the ones in The Hobbit.
Quote by Diemon Dave
Don't go ninjerin nobody don't need ninjerin'
There was an old man from Virgina.
I forget how the rest of it goes, but I think he got out on bail.
#justiceforall #not just metallica
cheer up slapsy
dirtbag ballet by the bins down the alley
as i walk through the chalet of the shadow of death
everything that you've come to expect

Why do hot dogs come in packs of ten and hor dog buns come in packs of eight?
Originally posted by Joshua Garcia
I just come here to dick around.
And maybe occasionally wave my dick around.

My D is major
why did the chicken

Quote by Pastafarian96
I an evety characyer in this story
Quote by jwmcdaniel97
Why do hot dogs come in packs of ten and hor dog buns come in packs of eight?

In case you want to put hot dog on your grilled cheese, hot dog mac and cheese, or bacon burger dogs. I thought that was obvious enough.
There's no such thing; there never was. Where I am going you cannot follow me now.
There's the "famous" one with the 101 green eyed dudes and 100 blue eyed dudes in an island with a ferry or some shit (I don't remember it that well). That one was cool.
There are some variations of the "Dude that always tells the truth vs dude that always lies" with someone that says random stuff and something.

Now that I think about it, it wouldn't be too hard to come up with riddles yourself if you start with the solution first and then create a problem that fits it.
How does that fuse riddle work? Why would the second fuse take only 15 minutes to burn when you light the other end?
this
^If you lit the first fuse on both ends that's obviously 30 minutes, because it's basically burning twice as fast. If you light the 2nd fuse on one end at the same time you know that when the two ends of the first fuse meet that the second fuse has burned for 30 minutes and has 30 minutes left, so if you light the other end of the second fuse that halves it's time. So, instead of burning for another 30 minutes, if both ends are burning it will take 15 minutes for the two ends to meet.
Last edited by The4thHorsemen at Nov 28, 2015,
Quote by M00NAGEDAYDREAM
why did the chicken

nice
.
I just thought of another good old one:

There are 9 balls. 8 of them have the same mass, but one is slightly heavier.
Using a set of balancing scales, how can you want to find out which ball is the heavier one, BUT you can only use the scales TWICE.

And no, you can't feel the weight difference.

Divide the balls into three groups of three. Weigh group 1 against group 2. if they are the same you know the heavy ball is in group 3. If group 1 is heavier than 2, then you know the heavy ball is in group 1 etc.

Then finally, weigh 2 single balls in the last group. Again, if one is heavier than the other then that's your answer. If they're the same then you know it's the other ball that's heavier.

And then there's the HARD MODE one that I heard on Brooklyn Nine Nine the other day:

There are 12 men, all identical weight except one, who made be slightly heavier or slightly lighter than the others. Using just a see saw, how can you identify this man? You can only use the see-saw THREE times.

erm I figured this out whilst watching the show but I can't even remember now... it's much trickier since in the ball problem you know the ball is heavier, but in this one he could be lighter OR heavier.

So step one is going to be divide the guys into 4 groups of 3. This then gets confusing because there are many ways this can play out depending what group the lighter/heavier man is in.

Compare group 1 vs group 2. Then compare group 1 vs group 3.

Then let's say there's four scenarios.

If he's in group one then the scale will tip the same way both times you weigh. This will let you know if it's a heavy or lighter man, and also that he's in group 1. Then you just weigh 2 guys from group 1 to find out which of the three it is.

If he's in group two then the scale will be unbalanced in the first weighing (group 1 vs group 2), and balanced on the second (1vs3).

This again will let you know if the man is heavier or lighter and confirm that he's in group 2. One final weighing between 2 group 2 members to find out which is the guy.

Again, the scale will be equal on first weighing and unbalanced on second, telling you if it's a heavier or lighter guy, and that he's in group 3.

This is where I get stuck... both weighings would be equal (group 1 vs group 2, group 1 vs group 3. We would know that fat/light guy is in group 4 but not if he's heavier or lighter... so in the final weighing between 2 group 4 members, we'd have a 50% chance of having an unbalanced scale which would only allow us to narrow this down to 2 guys.

Okay so I don't know the answer... or even if it's possible. If we started with 3 groups of 4 people then we could find which group he's in and whether he's heavy or light, but we wouldn't be able to do 1 last weighing to determine which person it is within that group. Hmmmmm
What is a word made up of 4 letters, yet is also made up of 3. Sometimes is written with 9 letters, and then with 4. Rarely consists of 6, and never is written with 5.

It's a statement, not a question.
Never imagine yourself not to be otherwise than what it might appear to others that what you were or might have been was not otherwise than what you had been would have appeared to them to be otherwise
Last edited by Krieger91 at Nov 28, 2015,
Quote by Krieger91
What is a word made up of 4 letters, yet is also made up of 3. Sometimes is written with 9 letters, and then with 4. Rarely consists of 6, and never is written with 5.

It's a statement, not a question.

My only problem with that is the use of the word "also" in the first sentence.
Quote by Gaz_m2k5
My only problem with that is the use of the word "also" in the first sentence.

Didn't notice that, I copied and pasted.

Still works without it, though
Never imagine yourself not to be otherwise than what it might appear to others that what you were or might have been was not otherwise than what you had been would have appeared to them to be otherwise