#1
Verse 1: DESTROY WHAT YOU DEFY
MISSING PLEASURE SERVERS YOU RIGHT
CAN'T YOU SEE WE'RE WAITING TO DIE?!

BLEEDING ARMS POUR TO THE TOMB
STEP ASIDE AND HEAR THE TRUTH
I'M WAITING FOR A NEWCOMING DIVINE

Chorus:

Tearing through time
Fly along, memories
Flowing through minds
Souls down to save me
Killing the kind
It's finally here
The creature is out until the end of me

Push me aside
They'll suffer like me
Cold and defied
I'll come back to thee
I prayed and I died
Trust me on this.
It's living in me

Verse 2:

TERRAIN MADE JUST FOR ME [FOR ME]
I CAN FINALLY BE FREE
I'M HATING EVERY MOMENT, THROUGH TIME
YOU WILL START FROM DOWN BENEATH
STIMULATE THE SAME OLD HEAT
AND PRAISE WHAT YOU HAVE ALWAYS, DENIED

Chorus:

Tearing through time
Fly along memories
Flowing through minds
No soul can save me
CELESTIAL WHINE
It's piercing through me...

What is this in me...?

Push me aside
How cold can I be?
So lost and blind
I come back to thee
Prayed and I died
I'M ASKING YOU WHY?!
It's living in me

WHY'S IT LIVING IN ME?!
IN ME!
ME!
IN ME!

-----

Listen to reason as you cry
Rationalized the final line...
I do not want anyone to suffer like I did
The pain that, no one, ever believed...

TIME
TORN AWAY, THE EYES CAN'T SEE

ALL THE LAUGHS
ALL THE FAULTS
MY OWN THOUGHTS
[LOST] IN THEIR TAUNTS
SCREAMS FROM ME
SET ME FREE
I DON'T NEED
TO BE HEALED
TEARING - THROUGH - MINDS
FLY - ALONG - SANITY
SHOW ME A SIGN

??????????????????

I CRIED FOR HELP, WAITED FOR YOU, YOU GAVE ME NOTHING, SO I'LL BURN YOU DOWN
YOUR BELIEF IN NATURAL DOMINANCE, IS A REASON FOR ME TO FIGHT AWAY
(What is the reason we're falling away, what is so bad about unnatural complexes?)
YOU BELIEVE IN STRAIGHT LINE GUIDANCE
SO LET ME ASK YOU JUST ONE LAST THING
JUST LET ME ASK YOU
DID EVOLUTION GO WRONG?!
YOU TRIED TO FIX WHAT WAS NEVER BROKEN
YET YOU'RE CHOSEN
DID EVOLUTION GO WRONG?!

I
WILL NOT BOW DOWN
TO YOUR DECEIT
THE NEW BORN MIND

SOULS
HAVE FOUND A WAY
TO STOP ASCENDANCE TO THE LIGHT
#2
Good imagery in this. I imagine it would work pretty well when put with some music. One thing you may want to check is the number of sylables for each line in comparrison with the previous and next. This isn't something that will make or break the piece, but it would potentially make it flow a little more clearly if you tweaked that a bit. Just my opinion though, you can do what you want with it. It is a good piece of writing overall.
Last edited by SonOf7 at Jan 5, 2016,