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#1
I've been talking to a new girl for the last few weeks and been really loving every second of it. She's everything I want and she makes me feel really incredible. She says things to me that no one else ever has before and makes me feel better about myself as a person.

But last night we were talking and she said something that really filled me with worry. She told me that she's not felt this way about someone before and that she really doesn't get into the whole 'lovey gushy relationship' thing but for some reason she's making an exception for me. Ever since she said that all I can think about is if one day she just changes her mind and ends up hurting me really bad.

I've been thinking all day if maybe I should just cut it here and not take the chance of getting hurt again. I've been single for a really long time now though. It would be nice to have someone I can share affection with again but at the same time I'd rather stay alone than get hurt again. She really is perfect for me but after saying that I'm feeling scared that this could turn into a really bad slice of heartache and regret at any time.

Maybe I'm just overthinking it, but it's making me feel sick to my stomach.
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#3
So you're worried that if you start a relationship, she might change her mind and that it'll end eventually? How's that fundamentally different from any relationship?
Free Ali
#4
Quote by chrismendiola
So you're worried that if you start a relationship, she might change her mind and that it'll end eventually? How's that fundamentally different from any relationship?


I'm sitting here trying to come up with a counter argument for that but I really can't.

Quote by ehbacon
way overthinking it.

she said that she loves you, just in her own way. definitely stop thinking.


The compliment definitely makes me feel good. It's really an incredibly nice thing to say to someone and I know that. Just something about it made me uncomfortable I guess.
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#5
dude stop being a lil bitch

...modes and scales are still useless.


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Voted for Patron Çıldırdı.

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#7
Give the girl a chance to screw up before you break it off.

Unless you find somebody better.
#8
From the sounds of it she's worth the potential heartbreak. Better to have loved and lost and all that.

Just roll with it dude.
#9
Quote by RAB11
From the sounds of it she's worth the potential heartbreak. Better to have loved and lost and all that.

Just roll with it dude.


I guess if I know anyone that's worth it it would be her by a land slide.
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#10
Not going to win big - or at all - without taking a risk dude.
Quote by Diemon Dave
Don't go ninjerin nobody don't need ninjerin'
#12
This is essentially your problem: "OMG this girl said she likes me a lot and I like her a lot too woe is me"
#13
Quote by cheosamad at #33745556
I'm sitting here trying to come up with a counter argument for that but I really can't.

then be with her

Quote by cheosamad at #33745578
I guess if I know anyone that's worth it it would be her by a land slide.

then fucking be with her.

Quote by TobusRex at #33745559
Give the girl a chance to screw up before you break it off.

listen to this

Quote by RAB11 at #33745562
From the sounds of it she's worth the potential heartbreak. Better to have loved and lost and all that.

Just roll with it dude.

and this

Quote by slapsymcdougal at #33745618
Not going to win big - or at all - without taking a risk dude.

and this

seriously, you both feel something, just enter a relationship already
#14
Quote by bradulator
Stop acting like you're 13 years old.


I'm 12 not 13. Get it right.

Quote by slapsymcdougal
Not going to win big - or at all - without taking a risk dude.


I kinda in retrospect realize I'm overthinking it a lot.

Quote by bradulator
This is essentially your problem: "OMG this girl said she likes me a lot and I like her a lot too woe is me"


That's a funny way to put it but I see what you're saying.


I absolutely plan to continue to see her ect. Just something about what she said made me uncomfortable. In retrospect it's not really a big deal at all.
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#15
Second thoughts... Advice wanted.


should I have another slice of cake?

Quote by Pastafarian96
I an evety characyer in this story
#16
You're gonna get hurt in life, whether it be by her or someone else so go git on dat ass.


Gozd in gora poj,
silen ženimo hrup,
uboga gmajna, le vpup, le vkup,
le vkup, le vkup z menoj,
staro pravdo v mrak tulimo,
da se pretulimo skozi to zimo
#17
Quote by cheosamad
That's a funny way to put it but I see what you're saying.


I absolutely plan to continue to see her ect. Just something about what she said made me uncomfortable. In retrospect it's not really a big deal at all.

You were worried and asked someone about it, like a sensible human being. He's just being a dick.


Gozd in gora poj,
silen ženimo hrup,
uboga gmajna, le vpup, le vkup,
le vkup, le vkup z menoj,
staro pravdo v mrak tulimo,
da se pretulimo skozi to zimo
#18
Quote by JamSessionFreak
You're gonna get hurt in life, whether it be by her or someone else so go git on dat ass.


Well that's certainly motivational.
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#19
Quote by cheosamad
Well that's certainly motivational.

I don't mean life is shit or anything. Just that if you get hung up on every little risk you might as well go live in a bunker as a hermit. But if you continue feeling like this is too big a risk you're gonna have to talk to her, not us.

I say this is a risk worth taking.


Gozd in gora poj,
silen ženimo hrup,
uboga gmajna, le vpup, le vkup,
le vkup, le vkup z menoj,
staro pravdo v mrak tulimo,
da se pretulimo skozi to zimo
Last edited by JamSessionFreak at Dec 25, 2015,
#20
Quote by JamSessionFreak
I don't mean life is shit or anything. Just that if you get hung up on every little risk you might as well go live in a bunker as a hermit. But if you continue feeling like this is too big a risk you're gonna have to talk to her, not us.

I say this is a risk worth taking.


Sorry I realize that was kinda sarcastic sounding. It made me laugh I was being serious haha. Like it was actually motivational lol.
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#21
stop being such a pussy. oh no the girl i like likes me what should i do. really dude, man up grow a pair and then just get on with it. is a possible she'll break your heart. yes. you're 20 years old rumor has it you'll live even if things don't work out. geez wish i had problems like that
#22
Quote by JamSessionFreak
You were worried and asked someone about it, like a sensible human being. He's just being a dick.

Bah humbug. I'm genuinely baffled at what there is to worry about.

-perfect girl
-everything he wants
-makes him feel good
-basically says she's never liked anybody as much as him
-guy likes her a lot

Like she told him she has never liked anybody as much as him and his reaction is "oh no what if she dumps me maybe I should just dump here now and get it over with"
#23
Quote by bradulator
Bah humbug. I'm genuinely baffled at what there is to worry about.

-perfect girl
-everything he wants
-makes him feel good
-basically says she's never liked anybody as much as him
-guy likes her a lot

Like she told him she has never liked anybody as much as him and his reaction is "oh no what if she dumps me maybe I should just dump here now and get it over with"


Okay that one actually made my sides hurt from laughing at the end. Thanks for that one dude. Like I said, in retrospect it's not even an issue. Just a situation of overthinking.
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#24
OK, you could say something like "Nah, I'm not going to get into this relationship".
Then you are going to wonder "what might have been" for THE REST OF YOUR LIFE".

Better to give it a shot and fail than not try at all and wonder "What if?", again, FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE.

I'm 55 and I have had more than a few "What if?" experiences with women in my life.
And even after this long, while it doesn't happen all the time, one of them pops into my head now and then and I feel some regret.

Here's a little story about what I am talking about...
I had this female friend, known her at that time for about 3 or 4 years.
She was Bi but in a relationship.
I got along well with both of them and her GF didn't seem to mind use hanging out together.
One Halloween, we went to a Halloween party at a bar.
Afterwards, we all went back to her house.
Her GF went to bed.
We stayed up and talked for hours.
Then she said something like "gee, I wish we had some weed".
I said "I've got some at my house, lets go over there and get it".
And I lived like 60+ miles away.
About halfway to my house, she just blurted out " You know, if we have sex, it'll change our relationship". Totally unexpected and out of the blue.
And to be honest, if she wasn't already in a relationship, we probably would have had sex that night.
I was pretty hot for this girl, but her friendship meant more to me than just fucking her a few times and possibly having it end badly. And being that she was in a relationship already, that's kind of a given in one way or another.
I simply replied "Yeah I know".

That was around 2005 and I still wonder "What If?"
Like at least once a month.

So I say go for it so you don't have to experience one of those "What If?" things.
Last edited by CodeMonk at Dec 25, 2015,
#26
Quote by Rebel Scum
Dogs are simple creatures, who make it sound really simple.

EDIT: Ok so copying the vid at current time is broken or something, fast forward to 2:53 mark.

https://youtu.be/NaJcexf9TNE?t=173


This made me so uncomfortable to watch haha. God that's such an awkward video.
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#27
Quote by cheosamad
Okay that one actually made my sides hurt from laughing at the end. Thanks for that one dude. Like I said, in retrospect it's not even an issue. Just a situation of overthinking.



Best of luck to ya

Quote by JamSessionFreak
You were worried and asked someone about it, like a sensible human being. He's just being a dick.


Suck it, commie

#28
it is better to have loved and lost than it is to have not loved at all
superman is killing himself tonight
#29
Quote by Baby Joel
it is better to have loved and lost than it is to have not loved at all

That's what I always say before I embark on my third helping of nachos
Come back if you want to
And remember who you are
‘Cause there's nothing here for you my dear
And everything must pass
#30
I think the best thing to do is to make sure you love yourself and you life. If you are content with your life and everything is good, adding a girl should be easy. Don't think of her as everything you've ever wanted, think of her as just someone awesome with a lot of cool qualities. Don't invest in her, just respect her presence and make sure you keep the balance of the force.
#31
" She told me that she's not felt
this way about someone before and that she really doesn't
get into the whole 'lovey gushy relationship' thing but for
some reason she's making an exception for me."
That is GOOD news. People generally have to make some changes to themselves for long term relationships. If she says something like that, then she is absolutely in it for the long run. Whether she'll change her mind one day... That can happen in absolutely any relationship. No relationship is ever completely safe. Don't worry about that, because there's fuckall you can do about it. Stop over thinking this and embrace it.
#32
Quote by bradulator
Bah humbug. I'm genuinely baffled at what there is to worry about.

-perfect girl
-everything he wants
-makes him feel good
-basically says she's never liked anybody as much as him
-guy likes her a lot

Like she told him she has never liked anybody as much as him and his reaction is "oh no what if she dumps me maybe I should just dump here now and get it over with"

I'm not saying you're wrong and I don't think you understand why I'm calling you a dick.


Gozd in gora poj,
silen ženimo hrup,
uboga gmajna, le vpup, le vkup,
le vkup, le vkup z menoj,
staro pravdo v mrak tulimo,
da se pretulimo skozi to zimo
#33
If the relationship goes badly, it will take a week or 2, max, to recover and go on with your life just fine. Fuck this up for a stupid reason, and it will stay with you forever.
#34
Quote by Rebel Scum
Dogs are simple creatures, who make it sound really simple.

EDIT: Ok so copying the vid at current time is broken or something, fast forward to 2:53 mark.

https://youtu.be/NaJcexf9TNE?t=173

2 Stupid Dogs was a pretty good cartoon.
Quote by Diemon Dave
Don't go ninjerin nobody don't need ninjerin'
#36
lol you guys definitely know how to make someone laugh when they need it. I'm about to go out to take her on a date in like an hour. Feeling pretty good about it.
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At least I djent?
#39
Quote by cheosamad
lol you guys definitely know how to make someone laugh when they need it. I'm about to go out to take her on a date in like an hour. Feeling pretty good about it.



Just remember, you already like each other. You're not out to prove a damn thing.
Quote by Diemon Dave
Don't go ninjerin nobody don't need ninjerin'
#40
Quote by JamSessionFreak
I'm not saying you're wrong and I don't think you understand why I'm calling you a dick.

True because how could I be a dick by effectively helping this dude understand that he is overthinking things

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