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#1
Starting off the new year right.

http://ideas.ted.com/the-price-of-being-single/
Bella DePaulo, now in her sixties, has always been single. For some time, she thought the marriage bug would bite her, until she realized it wouldn’t—and she didn’t want it to. DePaulo, who describes herself as “single at heart,” relishes the lifestyle. What she doesn’t love is the prejudice that single people face, from cultural stigma to discrimination at work, in the media and elsewhere. That’s why the Harvard-trained social scientist (now a project scientist at UCSB) has spent nearly two decades researching single life in America, publishing her findings in scholarly journals, in books including Singled Out, and on blogs. She explains why the pervasive negative stereotypes about single people are largely unsubstantiated, while the anecdotal prejudice is real — and so ingrained we often hardly see it.

Single people face discrimination in the workplace … DePaulo posits that single people’s non-work lives are often cast as less valid and valuable than married people’s. As a result, they’re often expected to cover while those with spouses or families leave the office early, take the leftover vacation slots or travel more on the assumption they have no need to be home. For US singles, there are also more concrete effects, like insurance benefits or Social Security benefits and pay: married men earn about 26 percent more than single men at equivalent levels.

… and are generally held in lower esteem than married counterparts.
DePaulo and her colleagues created biographical sketches of people who were identical — except that half were single, while half were married. Participants judged the hypothetical singles to be less socially mature, less well adjusted, and more self-centered than their otherwise identical married counterparts. The effect was starker for hypothetical 40-year-olds — who, by cultural standards, are at a should-be-married age — but persisted for hypothetical 25-year-olds, too.

Yet, there are 107 million unmarried people over the age of 18 in the United States.“Single people are near half the population and — one of my favorite statistics — Americans spend more years of their adult lives not married than married,” DePaulo says. That means that the moralizing of marriage as an institution, and the accompanying degradation of single life, not only affects a huge proportion of the American population, but is out of touch with the country’s cultural reality.

We often don’t recognize singlism as prejudice. As part of a series of housing studies, DePaulo and her colleagues described to participants a landlord with two people interested in the available property. In each example, a person from a discriminated-against group offered to pay more than a person from a recognized majority, but the landlord chose the latter: a man over a woman who offered to pay more; a white person over a black person; a married couple over a single person. In each case, participants explained the landlord’s choice as discrimination—except in that last case. Then, “they said, ‘because the couple is married,’ like that in itself is an explanation,” DePaulo says. “They didn’t get to what was obvious in all the other instances: that it’s discrimination.”

Do you find yourself being discriminated against for being single?
#3
No. The reason why I avoid relationships is because people compromise what they want to do for each other's sake, thus all the nights in and the tame, dull 'couple events' people have. I don't need that shit, yo.
they're coming to take me away
ha-haaa
#5
I literally don't have the time for a relationship right now cos I'm still adjusting to 9-5 lives

But yeah I think you're right brad. I haven't really tried leaving the office at work to run a personal errand but I feel like the excuse of having kids (more so than just being married) means the boss is very lenient towards to leaving earlier if you're doing it for a kid related reason..
#6
I find when I'm seeing someone chicks just naturally want me more. So yes, I feel discriminated
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#7
Bella DePaulo, now in her sixties, has always been single. For some time, she thought the marriage bug would bite her, until she realized it wouldn’t—and she didn’t want it to. DePaulo, who describes herself as “single at heart,” relishes the lifestyle.

Bullshit, she wishes she had grandkids.
Quote by jakesmellspoo
ooh look at me i'm ERIKLENSHERR and i work at fancy pants desk jobs and wear ties and ply barely legal girls with weed and booze i'm such a classy motherfucker.
#8
Quote by ErikLensherr
Bella DePaulo, now in her sixties, has always been single. For some time, she thought the marriage bug would bite her, until she realized it wouldn’t—and she didn’t want it to. DePaulo, who describes herself as “single at heart,” relishes the lifestyle.

Bullshit, she wishes she had grandkids.



You can have kids/grandkids without being married or in a relationship.
#9
lol because if you're going to live life alone you might as well feel like a victim for it while you're at it.
#10
Just as annoyed by vocal single people extolling the virtues of singleness as I am by married people who think being single is a disease tbh
My God, it's full of stars!
#11
Quote by Fat Lard
I find when I'm seeing someone chicks just naturally want me more. So yes, I feel discriminated
agree with all of that. It used to bother me being single but most of the time anymore, it's me laughin' at people in relationships.
#13
Quote by slipknot5678
people just assume it's cause I'm incompetent therefore I must be bad at everything else too

You're not single. You have Carl.
BOOM-SHAKALAKALAKA-BOOM-SHAKALAKUNGA
#15
I feel like Im a completely different person when Im in a relationship so i dont even know what I want tbh


but i dont really feel discriminated because most of the people I know are single and I dont really pay attention to social media, tv, etc.
Last edited by MeGaDeth2314 at Jan 1, 2016,
#16
Quote by Dreadnought
Just as annoyed by vocal single people extolling the virtues of singleness as I am by married people who think being single is a disease tbh


we should start a pool taking bets on when dread will get divorced
There's no such thing; there never was. Where I am going you cannot follow me now.
#17
tbh i hate when you're catching up with someone and they ask u if you're currently seeing anyone cause u gotta play it off like u don't care about being single but deep down u just wanna feel the love everyone else has uknow




#19
Quote by MeGaDeth2314 at #33755118
You can have kids/grandkids without being married or in a relationship.

Children, out of wedlock? Oh my stars and garters...
Quote by jakesmellspoo
ooh look at me i'm ERIKLENSHERR and i work at fancy pants desk jobs and wear ties and ply barely legal girls with weed and booze i'm such a classy motherfucker.
#20
Quote by theogonia777
we should start a pool taking bets on when dread will get divorced


good luck everybody
My God, it's full of stars!
#21
Quote by slipknot5678
it's carl and christi now thanks to UG secret santa.

How wonderful!

I like to be single. I don't think I'm discriminated against.

I assume most people assume I'm gay.
BOOM-SHAKALAKALAKA-BOOM-SHAKALAKUNGA
#22
I think most people assume that people who are single for long periods of time are unhappy or something is wrong with them. Quite the contrary here.
#23
What's worse is not having any social media accounts. People give you that 'I need to get out of here' look
.
#24
Quote by MinterMan22
tbh i hate when you're catching up with someone and they ask u if you're currently seeing anyone cause u gotta play it off like u don't care about being single but deep down u just wanna feel the love everyone else has uknow


that hits hard
#25
Society is definitely set-up for people who are married/in long-term relationships in comprison to being single. Obviously this is because those people have been in the majority for the last couple of centuries, but it's still frustrating.

I know that if I was in a relationship/engaged etc. that when I move to London after my degree I'd only have to save for half of a house deposit and only put half as much of my income towards mortgage payments and utility bills etc. whereas if I attempted to live on my own the costs would be almost crippling and severely limit my life style.

I basically have to make a choice between being financially crippled and limited or being emotionally crippled and limited. Hopefully I'll find someone that allows for a balance but I do find it frustrating that it is almost expected and that there is a certain pressure from family and society in general to not remain single, even if that means sacrificing your own life and coming to a compromise or settling for mediocrity.
Last edited by digman50 at Jan 1, 2016,
#26
Quote by digman50


I know that if I was in a relationship/engaged etc. that when I move to London after my degree I'd only have to save for half of a house deposit and only put half as much of my income towards mortgage payments and utility bills etc. whereas if I attempted to live on my own the costs would be almost crippling and severely limit my life style.

I basically have to make a choice between being financially crippled and limited or being emotionally crippled and limited. Hopefully I'll find someone that allows for a balance but I do find it frustrating that it is almost expected and that there is a certain pressure from family and society in general to not remain single, even if that means sacrificing your own life and coming to a compromise or settling for mediocrity.


Dude this is me

Wanna buy a house with me George?
#28
Quote by EndTheRapture51
Dude this is me

Wanna buy a house with me George?


Would prefer it to being stuck in a dead-end relationship that you have to put up with cause you live with them like I had last year

Quote by MinterMan22
tbh i hate when you're catching up with someone and they ask u if you're currently seeing anyone cause u gotta play it off like u don't care about being single but deep down u just wanna feel the love everyone else has uknow


What's more annoying is when you're perfectly happy and enjoying the fact you can do what you want without being limited etc. and people assume you must desperately want to be in a relationship. So frustrating when you get people saying "Oh I could set you up with someone!" or "You'll find someone eventually" when you're not even looking for anything.

It's the constant thing of 'How could anyone be happy with being single?'

It's almost like there's an assumption that single people cut their wrists and cry themselves to sleep at night because the warmth of the blood and tears mixing is almost like the warmth of someone alongside them.
#30
Being single is almost better because people treat you nicer when they think you might sleep with them.
#31
Quote by digman50
Would prefer it to being stuck in a dead-end relationship that you have to put up with cause you live with them like I had last year


What's more annoying is when you're perfectly happy and enjoying the fact you can do what you want without being limited etc. and people assume you must desperately want to be in a relationship. So frustrating when you get people saying "Oh I could set you up with someone!" or "You'll find someone eventually" when you're not even looking for anything.

It's the constant thing of 'How could anyone be happy with being single?'

It's almost like there's an assumption that single people cut their wrists and cry themselves to sleep at night because the warmth of the blood and tears mixing is almost like the warmth of someone alongside them.


Cool lets move in together.

But yeah that's the real worry for me. Property is seen as the be-all-and-end-all in our country and to a big extent it is - getting our own house and paying off your mortgage is definitely considered "making it". But down south the deposit is gonna be so expensive like I've got £10k save up rn so I might not be too far off a deposit but I probably can't afford an actual mortgage and it's such a huge cash hog. But on the other hand renting is horrible because your money is going to someone else.

Being single isn't bad. I get to spend a lot of time on myself which is great, but when I'm seeing people a year older than me getting married and buying houses whilst I rent out a bedroom in a house it's very disheartening. I feel like I'm not quite doing life right.

But that's a bigger point to do with everyone living seemingly amazing lives on FB with holidays, travelling, buying houses etc. whilst I am very unsure of what to do so I'm just enjoying working and earning money.
#32
I'm not old enough for being single to be considered weird. Probably in a few years though.

I've never longed to be in a relationship for the sake of it nor have I felt discriminated against at work for it. Being in a long term relationship is harder than being single and involves more responsibility, especially when children are involved, so I don't think it's unfair to give people in those sorts of relationships a little more leeway.
cat
#33
marriage tends to be a very interesting variable in sociological studies (it's a favorite among quantitative sociologists, because it is a common category in census/other social surveys and is easy to include within different cases.)

generally, in the US, single women suffer from more institutional discrimination (social security, housing opportunities, etc.) than single men, especially single women of color, though it is statistically more common for a woman of color to be single than a white woman. married men procure more health benefits than single men over the life course; interestingly enough, married women do not incur any health benefits (single women who live in the same socioeconomic class actually tend to live longer/healthier, but it is much more difficult for women to stay in that socioeconomic class without combining incomes.)
bc same-sex marriage was not permitted, many advocates claimed discrimination based on the fact that they were institutionally barred from receiving benefits that legally married couples did. sociologists also like studying aging gay couples for this reason.
Quote by Arthur Curry
it's official, vintage x metal is the saving grace of this board and/or the antichrist




e-married to
theguitarist
minterman22
tateandlyle
& alaskan_ninja

#35
The price of being single is very high since i spend all my money on porn instead of getting laid

wait whats this thread about
#37
Quote by digman50
All about that DINK, about the DINK, no children.


But SITCOMs are more entertaining on TV.
There's no such thing; there never was. Where I am going you cannot follow me now.
#39
Hey Dane. In your case, MFJ stands for "Man Friendzoned by Jenny", am I right?
There's no such thing; there never was. Where I am going you cannot follow me now.
#40
That gift-splitting election so you can exclude twice the donations omggg BOUT TO BURST
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