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#1
sometimes rainy days drop boyish wonders

hello pit, just got back from a two week stay at a psychiatric hospital after i casually revealed my plans to shoot myself to my sister. after being put on proper meds, i was able to eat again for the first time in about two or three weeks. i am still struggling with a few things which i probably won't bother telling you all about, but i am not suicidal now.

"at last one can see," cried ned land, who, knife in hand, stood on the defensive.
"yes" said i; "but we are still in the dark about ourselves."
"let master have patience," said the imperturbable conseil.

ama
#2
dood, dont die

glad you're alright
Quote by korinaflyingv
On the come up we were listening to Grateful Dead and the music started passing through my bowel and out my arsehole as this violet stream of light. I shat music. It was beautiful.
#4
I'm glad you're okay
Eat your pheasant
Drink your wine
Your days are numbered, bourgeois swine!
#5
Don't kill yourself, you're a knothead, but you're a good knothead and I'd miss you.
“Ignorance more frequently begets confidence than does knowledge.”
Charles Darwin
#7
Quote by Eastwinn
ama



meds treating you alright?
Quote by korinaflyingv
On the come up we were listening to Grateful Dead and the music started passing through my bowel and out my arsehole as this violet stream of light. I shat music. It was beautiful.
#9
Quote by Eastwinn at #33791263
ama

How bout this crazy snowstorm?
Quote by jakesmellspoo
ooh look at me i'm ERIKLENSHERR and i work at fancy pants desk jobs and wear ties and ply barely legal girls with weed and booze i'm such a classy motherfucker.
#11
you were there for me so i'm here for you mate, anytime. maybe when the snowstorm clears i'll drive up there and we can have a lunch or something idk

love you man
it's all just coming back
it's all coming back

it's all coming back to me
#12
love you glad yr alive hmu if you wanna talk

Quote by Arthur Curry
it's official, vintage x metal is the saving grace of this board and/or the antichrist




e-married to
theguitarist
minterman22
tateandlyle
& alaskan_ninja

#13
Quote by Burgery


meds treating you alright?


this time last month i had to stop taking my meds because i couldn't stomach them anymore, or anything else, cause my anxiety grew so huge and my body didn't wanna work anymore. it's kind of a long story, but after a long time in group therapy, it's pretty clear that the story begins with addiction. and even though that ended over a year ago, it didn't really, and that's been important.

first they put me on buspar. it's a second line treatment for anxiety. i knew it had been tested successfully in the past for treating functional gastrointestinal problems in mentally healthy patients (including early satiety and stomach pain which was really intense for me), but i didn't mention it cause i originally preferred to just comply and not be a smart ass about anything.

buspar worked great, and within a few days i started eating some small things. i felt a little more like 'myself' pre-addiction. however, at the same time they also started me on lexapro. i never had success with this medication or any other ssri or snri. they make me feel ill and i withdrawal between doses. i know some bad withdrawals, as you all know, so when i say it sucks you can trust i mean it (for most people it seems to be pretty okay though so if anyone reading this is about to try an ssri for the first time, don't be discouraged). i eventually resolved to put my foot down, got into a power struggle with the treatment team, involved the patient advocates, and eventually got a second opinion from a doctor who swapped my lexapro for remeron. i was pretty proud of myself for how all that went down cause in the end i put a lot of water under the bridge (they were ignorant as fuck to my parents and family) knowing that i had eventually gotten what i wanted and retaliating would put that at risk.

remeron is an antidepressant that causes a massive increase in appetite and cures nausea and vomiting. it's a popular med for cats and dogs who won't eat, but it's not popular with people who already eat too much. it turned out to be perfect for me, and like buspar, i knew it had some success in past studies on my gi issues. i think the doctor that gave the second opinion knew all this, but i never mentioned it cause again i didn't want to be a smart ass. i'm not a doctor, i'm just well read, and there's a canyon between those two.

i'm still on stomach meds but there's some hope that in the future i won't need to be anymore. if my stomach problems were completely caused by mental problems, which seems likely, it will still take a bit for things to heal. in the meantime i've gotta gain back over 12 pounds that i lost. in the interest of time, i'm breaking vegan on this one. when i get back to a good weight i'll switch back to my preferred diet.

erik: lotta firewood to burn nah mean

bby joel: that would be sick actually
#15
but I hope you keep getting better cuz I actually was wondering where you went and thought bad things
#18
lol i didn't know remeron caused increased appetite. that would explain the thirty pounds i've gained since being put on it lol

srsly tho we need to do something. w/ saadia as well
it's all just coming back
it's all coming back

it's all coming back to me
#19
hang in there, pal.

we're all gonna make it
Quote by jrcsgtpeppers
There shall be a stop to this madness. The battle is not over. My tasty licks aren't going anywhere.

Quote by The_Blode
^ I've just realised if you say Simple Plan's 2011 effort "Get Your Heart On!" really fast in a Southern American accent, it sounds gross. . .like sexual gross!

Quote by Necroheadbanger
Hello.
I'm looking for professional bongo-ists and triangle-ists to make a Progressive Technical Brutal Death Metal band
(will be called AxOxJxLxAxIxVxXxUxWxZxQxUxRxWxGxJxSxAxLxKxMxNxHxUxGxAxAxWxVxCxBxZxVx)
(Don't even ask what it means)


https://soundcloud.com/95dank



#20


I'm glad you're okay! I'd miss you
Quote by silhouettica
Oh, DON'T use a knife. It cuts through your strings. I did that once, thinking, its the Low E, its invincible. Turns out, its not...

Quote by Kensai
Awesome
#21
mint: in the ward they'd let you use these bluetooth headphone w/ spotify for about 30 minutes if you were good and all i did was listen to jawbreaker because they validated some of the feelings i was having a good way (which i discussed with the occupational therapist frequently, as well as a qt patient). for some reason i sang this song constantly and it polarized my peers lol

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3PYokWmb9Sk

bby: of course. i'm down for that.

to everyone else: thanks
#23
if you didn't wanna get back to my pm just tell me don't make up excuses jw

btw snowing are reforming lol
#25
You're a fucking idiot.

There are people out there in the world who have it worse than you.
#26
Quote by gazzoo at #33791625
You're a fucking idiot.

There are people out there in the world who have it worse than you.

This guy.
Free Ali
#27
Quote by gazzoo at #33791625
You're a fucking idiot.

There are people out there in the world who have it worse than you.


there are people who have it a lot better too, are we not allowed to be happy because of them?

don't be a dick, its not very nice
Eat your pheasant
Drink your wine
Your days are numbered, bourgeois swine!
#28
Quote by gazzoo
You're a fucking idiot.

There are people out there in the world who have it worse than you.

wow i'd never thought about it like this

ean u r idiot qed

(gazzoo, 2016)
#29
Quote by gazzoo
You're a fucking idiot.

There are people out there in the world who have it worse than you.

fourth post reaffirming your blatant idiocy
Last edited by ali.guitarkid7 at Jan 22, 2016,
#30
Quote by chrismendiola
Yo. Did you see my Snapchat? Is that why you changed your mind about killing yourself?


yes
#31
Quote by gazzoo
You're a fucking idiot.

There are people out there in the world who have it worse than you.

Imagine being this selfish, wow.
#32
Quote by Eastwinn
mint: in the ward they'd let you use these bluetooth headphone w/ spotify for about 30 minutes if you were good and all i did was listen to jawbreaker because they validated some of the feelings i was having a good way (which i discussed with the occupational therapist frequently, as well as a qt patient). for some reason i sang this song constantly and it polarized my peers lol

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3PYokWmb9Sk

bby: of course. i'm down for that.

to everyone else: thanks

hey

so i've never heard the linked track before which is pretty fitting tbh since a good % of the stuff i listen to is shit you've casually linked here in the past and i appreciate you a whole bunch for that yknow? but that's not even it i appreciate you for a whole buncha other reasons too which is saying something cause i play that whole anon schtick around here and you were able to get past that yknow? basically much love i got for you bud ok <3




#33
Quote by gazzoo
You're a fucking idiot.

There are people out there in the world who have it worse than you.

i want you to give me a sockjob




#34
I've been there too, remember, you're not alone!
"If you're looking for me,
you better check under the sea,
because that's where you'll find me..."
#35
I was wondering where you were

Glad you're okay buddy
___

Quote by The_Blode
she was saying things like... do you want to netflix and chill but just the chill part...too bad she'll never know that I only like the Netflix part...
#36
Why should I feel bad for this guy?

He tries to kill himself and that's his own fault. He's fucking stupid.

What about the people that didn't even have a choice to live their lives?

The Jews during the Holocaust?

The Slaves?

The Gladiators?

This guy has a choice and he just decides to throw it all away.
#37
Quote by gazzoo at #33791675
Why should I feel bad for this guy?

He tries to kill himself and that's his own fault. He's fucking stupid.

What about the people that didn't even have a choice to live their lives?

The Jews during the Holocaust?

The Slaves?

The Gladiators?

This guy has a choice and he just decides to throw it all away.



lol what an idiot


i'm glad your okay now
#38
Quote by Baby Joel
lol i didn't know remeron caused increased appetite. that would explain the thirty pounds i've gained since being put on it lol

srsly tho we need to do something. w/ saadia as well

I would like that. it's been a bad year
Quote by Arthur Curry
it's official, vintage x metal is the saving grace of this board and/or the antichrist




e-married to
theguitarist
minterman22
tateandlyle
& alaskan_ninja

#39
Quote by gazzoo at #33791675
*fart noises*

haha
___

Quote by The_Blode
she was saying things like... do you want to netflix and chill but just the chill part...too bad she'll never know that I only like the Netflix part...
#40
I've done the addiction, suicidal, mental hospital, therapy, meds thing before.
Its not easy.

I've been going through some mentally fucked up shit lately and am probably borderline suicidal, but won't go that down that path for one reason. What it would do to my sister.
Pretty much everyone else can fuck off as far as I'm concerned, but she matters more.

Sorry, not trying to steal your thread Eastwinn, hope you get better.
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