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#1
Ok pit, mature and enlightened beings that you are, I need your advice.

I moved into an apartment with 2 housemates in the beginning of september. One has the master bedroom with its own bathroom. I share a bathroom with the other housemate. We agreed to share the costs of all bathroom supplies by alternating purchases of whatever we need.

Here's the problem: She uses an inordinate amount of toilet paper. I bought a costco package of like 36 rolls, so I didn't notice for a while, but I realized we keep running out way too fast. She's been spending a lot of time at her girlfriend's house, but she's been back here full time over the last week or so. I just had to buy a new package, so I decided to keep track of how fast it's being used. 2 rolls in one day. This is madness. At this rate we'll have a TP cost of $600/year.

The problem is how to bring this up. How do you tell someone they don't know how to wipe efficiently? I'll probably be looking for a new place to stay in June or July, so it might be worth it to just ignore it.
#2
inb4 crude lesbian joke
Quote by ErikLensherr
Did you hear about the cockney Godfather?

He made them an offer they couldn't understand.
#3
girls use toilet paper for a lot more than just wiping

tell her to get more fiber into her diet
Eat your pheasant
Drink your wine
Your days are numbered, bourgeois swine!
#4
Tell her you'll split the cost of everything except toilet paper, in which you have to buy your own cos you didn't realise girls use that much toilet paper.

Probably fairest thing.
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everything that you've come to expect


#6
Quote by Bladez22
girls use toilet paper for a lot more than just wiping

tell her to get more fiber into her diet

I'm aware, but 2 rolls in a day is still a fuckton. And I'm pretty sure more fiber would have the opposite of the desired effect.
#7
Quote by ehbacon
jfc 2 rolls in one day? wtf

Yeah, I poop a lot, and use a lot of tp, but that's fucking insane. I go through maybe a roll in like 5-7 days.
BOOM-SHAKALAKALAKA-BOOM-SHAKALAKUNGA
#8
i use baby wipes no h8
dirtbag ballet by the bins down the alley
as i walk through the chalet of the shadow of death
everything that you've come to expect


#9
Quote by ehbacon
jfc 2 rolls in one day? wtf

It's the clean up after the shit that comes out of TS's mouth.


I'm kidding.
Quote by Axelfox
Reeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
#10
fiber makes you poop more, but the poop is less watery and doesn't smear everywhere. More fiber in your diet makes for less wiping
Eat your pheasant
Drink your wine
Your days are numbered, bourgeois swine!
#11
Quote by snipelfritz
Yeah, I poop a lot, and use a lot of tp, but that's fucking insane. I go through maybe a roll in like 5-7 days.


This ain't that single ply sandpaper either. I only get the good stuff.

Quote by Trowzaa
Tell her you'll split the cost of everything except toilet paper, in which you have to buy your own cos you didn't realise girls use that much toilet paper.

Probably fairest thing.

This is the fairest thing, but like, how do you have that conversation?
#12
Dude just buy your own toilet paper. She buys her's. But seriously though. Toilet paper?

GUYS OMG TOILET PAPER BIG ISSUE SO FUCKED SO FUCKED

GUYS YOU DONT EVEN KNOW

OMG ITS NUCLAER HOWLOCWOST
Quote by Overlord
It's not hard to be nice, but it's nice to be hard
#13
Quote by Carnivean
Dude just buy your own toilet paper. She buys her's. But seriously though. Toilet paper?

GUYS OMG TOILET PAPER BIG ISSUE SO FUCKED SO FUCKED

GUYS YOU DONT EVEN KNOW

OMG ITS NUCLAER HOWLOCWOST

ha
#14
Women naturally use more toilet paper. Just break out your expense report and have her cover a higher, fair % of all toilet paper.


If that doesn't work, store the tp in your bedroom to only bring out when you go?


or use public restrooms more often as 'tp leverage'
.
#15
boy i miss having roommates. start taking rolls out of the house here and there and stash 'em somewhere. then let her ask you where all the TP is going.
#16
"Yo you're using too much TP and I'm not subsidizing your excessive ass wiping anymore. PEACE"
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#19
Quote by TheChaz

This is the fairest thing, but like, how do you have that conversation?

take all the TP from the bathroom and forcing her to use her socks.
Quote by Axelfox
Reeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
#20
Quote by Fat Lard

If that doesn't work, store the tp in your bedroom to only bring out when you go?

Doesn't solve the issue. I go through a roll a week. If she goes through 2 rolls a day, my 1/7th of a roll doesn't really make a difference.

Case A: Don't stash tp. 15 rolls of TP combined/week. Assuming 12 packs, I buy TP every 11 days.

Case B: I have stash. 14 rolls of her use/week. My 1 roll is separate. I still buy tp every 12 days, plus my own stash.

I thought you were a business guy or something smdh.
#21
Quote by Carnivean
Dude just buy your own toilet paper. She buys her's. But seriously though. Toilet paper?

GUYS OMG TOILET PAPER BIG ISSUE SO FUCKED SO FUCKED

GUYS YOU DONT EVEN KNOW

OMG ITS NUCLAER HOWLOCWOST

This just in: Everything on the internet must be an issue of significant importance that our combined intelligence can solve for the greater good of humanity. I'm sorry I wasted your time when you were trying to be a productive member of ultimate-guitar dot com and also society.
#22
Quote by TheChaz
Doesn't solve the issue. I go through a roll a week. If she goes through 2 rolls a day, my 1/7th of a roll doesn't really make a difference.

Case A: Don't stash tp. 15 rolls of TP combined/week. Assuming 12 packs, I buy TP every 11 days.

Case B: I have stash. 14 rolls of her use/week. My 1 roll is separate. I still buy tp every 12 days, plus my own stash.

I thought you were a business guy or something smdh.



Alright, so you currently have a general partnership set up, where all your poop inflows are not being adequately and profitably matched by your tp outflows. You are going to want to set up the bathroom as an LLP (limited liability partnership).


As general partners, you are still held jointly and severally liable for her poops. In order to fix this problem, you need to structure and safeguard your tp assets in your room with a locked door as a physical control so that she can't get to it.
.
#23
2 rolls a day is pretty excessive even for a woman. perhaps you could make a tasteful joke about it and see if she gets the point. keep in mind that if you live with a woman that you will go through toilet paper. if you are alternating. then she'd cover half the cost so not that big a deal. if nothing else works then perhaps gettig sandpaper quality might get the point across. chances are she'll ask and you can point out that 2 rolls a day costs a bit and isn't exactly fair cuz you're on a budget.
#24
LMAO

I think you may want to lawyer up, TS.
Quote by Overlord
It's not hard to be nice, but it's nice to be hard
#25
Quote by monwobobbo
2 rolls a day is pretty excessive even for a woman. perhaps you could make a tasteful joke about it and see if she gets the point. keep in mind that if you live with a woman that you will go through toilet paper. if you are alternating. then she'd cover half the cost so not that big a deal. if nothing else works then perhaps gettig sandpaper quality might get the point across. chances are she'll ask and you can point out that 2 rolls a day costs a bit and isn't exactly fair cuz you're on a budget.

I may hybridize this strategy with Lard's. Keep the good stuff in my room, buy sandpaper single ply for the collective use.
#26
this is such a shit thread

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#27
Woah 2 rolls is a fuckton. It only takes a few sheets to wipe when weeing...and I can confirm this as a girl.

I bet she's a scruncher. You should just straight out ask her how she gets through so much toilet paper because its costing too much and you cant afford it. After all she's not home all day right? Then suggest you buy your own toilet paper or she needs to cut down on her usage.
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#28
TS, I really need to know how she is using so much TP. Please put a camera and live stream it from your bathroom.

PS I NNEED this, k?
BOOM-SHAKALAKALAKA-BOOM-SHAKALAKUNGA
#29
Quote by TheChaz
This ain't that single ply sandpaper either. I only get the good stuff.


This is the fairest thing, but like, how do you have that conversation?

You should.
Then she won't use it.
She'll probably bitch about it.
Then you can tell her to buy what she likes.
#30
Women use lots more toilet paper than men do. They wipe after both types of bathroom duty.

Plus they have gigantic asses.
#31
Quote by TobusRex
Women use lots more toilet paper than men do. They wipe after both types of bathroom duty.

Plus they have gigantic asses.

No, not two rolls per day more, k.

I feel like a PI in a film noir. I don't know how I got dragged into this, but I'm going to get to the bottom of it.
BOOM-SHAKALAKALAKA-BOOM-SHAKALAKUNGA
#32
Quote by snipelfritz
No, not two rolls per day more, k.

I feel like a PI in a film noir. I don't know how I got dragged into this, but I'm going to get to the bottom of it.

Heh
#34
Quote by steve_muse
inb4 crude lesbian joke


Well i, for one, am proud


Or maybe I'm the one who's a jackass for even placing attention on sexuality here #woah
Quote by ErikLensherr
Did you hear about the cockney Godfather?

He made them an offer they couldn't understand.
Last edited by steve_muse at Jan 22, 2016,
#36
Quote by TheChaz
Heh

Unintentional. Teehee
BOOM-SHAKALAKALAKA-BOOM-SHAKALAKUNGA
#40
Had female roommates as well. I've also noticed that women use an absolutely inordinate amount of TP.

...modes and scales are still useless.


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