#1
I'M GONE

I stopped chasing my dreams
And just moved back to town
Lost between an adult and a teen
So I rushed home to settle down

Soon my life was driven
By my worries and my debt
Man, that ain’t living
I just ain’t stopped breathing yet

Some people will always doubt
But life has taught me that
You have not struck out
If you're still swinging the bat

_You're too young
_You're too old
_That song's been sung
_That story's been told

Everyone says I wont make it
But I'll be there by dawn
You can't enjoy the ride if you don’t take it
I'm not saying I'm going, I'm gone

One thing that I know
And I think we can all agree
For an acorn to become an oak
He's gotta let go of the tree

Everyone says I wont make it
But I'll be there by dawn
You can't enjoy the ride if you don’t take it
I'm not saying I'm going, I'm gone
#2
Keep writing. The rhymes are a bit too predictable for my taste. A lot of them end on hard consonants and single syllable words. Try working some more compound rhymes in there.
OBEY THE MIGHTY SHITKICKER
#3
I'm simply reading it singing out loud, trying to keep the tempo I set. It ain't working well :P It'd be nice to know where the pauses are and such.