#2
I didnt care for the intro to be honest but when it all kicked in I really enjoyed this piece! Some awesome riffs and leads very nice for your first original! keep up the good work the drums had some nice parts as well..if you got some time please crit some of my work https://soundcloud.com/damnedinthedesert
#3
I just listened to your track and I must say I loved the transitions and how they all sat together even while all being different! Cool ambience, but I think it hit a lil too hard and distracted awfully slightly. But I gotta hand it to you, your creativity is on point! Listened to Descent as well! Nice "march" in the beginning,mega catchy
#5
The intro sounded very melodious and nice and tender, and then it kicks in with the drums and bass into a more brutal and louder essence, which worked along with the guitar itself. It sounds to be very nice work. I like that the genre itself said "Djent" beforehand xD It's just an ironic note itself, that makes me laugh every time mentioned. Does that mean you used a 7 or 8-stringer in this piece, LourDeo?

-Sharky
#6
@CherokeeShredder C4C bro, I'd love to see your own content! And quick thanks for your thoughts, I actually play a six string! I'll update the post with a video
#7
I need better work on my lyrics and timing skills with my own pieces. BUT I will definitely get on it after I re-record my playing
#10
All right, I got better guitar recording and lyrics to post with it. Unfortunately, recording BOTH at the same time is near impossible for me lol still want to see both, though?

-Sharky
#11
@CherokeeShredder I would love to see both! It's more than a thanks for you seeing my things, I like to personally understand the likings of the people that randomly choose to see my own!
Last edited by LourDeo_15 at Feb 10, 2016,
#12
Hi! I ve just listened to this song and I was enjoying it :-) Good job! Intro is quite simple but very interesting and then .... surprise...
#13
@Gregory1978 if you have any content of your own you'd like me to see, I would surely enjoy it! C4C all the way
#15
Intro is very calm, I didn't like the first few notes which sound a bit too empty but it quickly transitioned into a more melodic calm piece. Then boom! Djent. The transition into the djent was a bit weird but it works, really caught me by surprise. Great lead and cool tone. I particularly enjoyed the bass part around 1:46, and the following djenty guitars around 2:00. Really cool way to use those low notes to get a particular feel going. The lead solo around 3:00 felt really tasty and I enjoyed it so much I had to rewind a bit to listen to it again. One thing I did not like is how the drums feel programmed. I mean, I understand that they are programmed, but they also have that digital "feel" if you know what I mean. Nicely written though. The song ended a bit too abruptly for my tastes, but the song overall was very good and I am looking forward to more of your work!

Check out my song too; https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1696341
#16
Dude you've clearly got chops. The intro wasn't my favorite thing in the world, but it was well played and transitioned a lot better into the main section better than I would've thought. And overall your songwriting is pretty good. The riffs are well constructed, and despite obviously being of a technical nature they still manage to be highly musical and pretty catchy.

I think my main gripe here is the guitar tone. The mids seem to be scooped pretty heavily, so much so that it ALMOST sounds hollow, and definitely has a bit of a scratchy top end. I would suggest boosting the mids a little bit, maybe cutting the gain a tad to compensate, and take down the lows just a bit. This would also allow you to raise the bass a little in the mix, letting it sit very nicely with the rhythm guitars and the kick drum.

Overall though, I really do love this. The guitar solo especially. Very cleanly played (as was the majority of the song, kudos), and had enough shred elements to throw me off guard for a second while retaining a sense of movement and direction, something that a lot of accomplished technical musicians seem to neglect.

It's obvious you've spent a lot of time practicing your instrument. But it's very pleasing and refreshing to see that you've spent just as much time practicing your songwriting. Very good job.

P.S. those gold pickup covers on that Jackson are gorgeous.
Fender 72' Deluxe Tele
Schecter Damian Elite 7
Fender '62 Reissue Jazz Bass (MIJ)
Peavey XXX 212 (back on the East Coast)

Macbook Pro 15" Retina
Logic Pro X 10.0.7
Revalver 4
LePou Amp Sims
Ignite Amp Sims
LeCab2
RedWirez Impulses
#17
@kumamilesbear if you can link me up to some of your own content, I would very much be pleased! And honestly, I really appreciate your critique, ESPECIALLY in regards to the tone, because I can hear it as well, but I couldn't work out the issue on my own :P
#18
Hey man, that was pretty awesome The playing was tight and the transitions were really cool. Everything seemed like it was in its proper place within the song structure. Some of the drum parts could have been simplified a little bit. It's important when writing parts as a non-drummer to still take into consideration what a real drummer would do if given the song. There's a lot of cymbal work, tom grooves, and feel changes that could be used to smooth some things out musically.

The solo was great. Everything seemed intentional and each note fit extremely well. The tone was a bit harsh for both the leads and somewhat for the rhythm parts, but since you were made aware of that already, you'll probably work to fix that in future recordings. Unfortunately, the 81 and 85 both have a huge scoop in the mids, and it sounds like you were trying to compensate for that loss of midrange by just simply adding more volume. Really focus on the space of each instrument within the frequency spectrum, and you'll begin to hear what can be fixed as you mix. I can tell you from a few listens that lowering the drums and guitars in the mix and bringing the bass up will be a good starting point to balance things out before you master the track.

Aside from those few nitpicks, the track was awesome, man. I can't wait to hear what else is in store.
#19
@Progbass92 this is exactly why I love UG. Players helping players! Anyway, I have to thank you as well as I did kumamilesbear because I had to learn these things on my own and finding production tips on metal is pretty hard. I'll be sure to pay more attention to what you guys mentioned and work it into my future songs. Thanks again bra
#20
Players helping others was the main reason for UG to grow and develop so well ^^

LEarning new things by yourself is truly a tricky challenge, but can be very fulfilling.
#22
Oh right. My bad! I need to actually find the thread I posted under lol

https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?p=33821031#post33821031

Quote by CherokeShredder
Now. About this official recording xD oh joy.

It is done at the computer Lounge at my College. It's the College's computer and mic and acoustics, so I cannot change that whatsoever as I don't have a computer or software or recording stuff of my own.

I have no vocal training whatsoever except for listening to others sing, but I still went for it and felt it was a good, honest effort. That being said, I hope it's not too bad.

The reason my guitar may or may not sound off or buzzing is simply the guitar and strings that I have, which are both newer and also not so broken in as I thought despite the about 2 months of playing on both. Acoustic-electric, in this case because I usually went for acoustic-style playing on even my pure electric heh

(Yes, I chose Vocaroo for the recording because it was the easiest system for me to use: just record and try again lol)

With that all in mind, I hope it's enjoyed

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

http://vocaroo.com/i/s1QJH0t7W3j2

Lyrics: https://shrib.com/2sz7vw5GbNJ97Y6

First official and original song of mine ever, and yes, that is in all the time I've spent with music, so about 8-9 years now lol I hope it's not too bad

-Sharky


Sorry for the long-ass text.

-Sharky
#25
@dacat7777 I'd love to give a listen to some of your own recording if you have any, my friend
#26
Yup comments were for Lour lol.

LourDeo_15 there are a few demos up on my youtube page as well as some new stuff in the works. Lots of material and changes coming up there!