#1
I wrote this while sitting in my business law class.

Don't read this if you can't handle a joke.

"I'm giving up on masturbating
It's not fun anymore and it's not elating
Jerking off on the bed feels so degrading
It's like I'm on a table operating
So I'm moving up and moving on
Imma start fucking dead bodies on my lawn
I just killed my best friend, my buddy Shaun
He was always kind of cute, now we're gonna get it on

Crazy, crazy, they're calling me crazy
But I'm not crazy, please don't hate me
I'm just strange, a little bit different, weird
Cause I like fucking dead bodies in the rear
I'm just a normal dude, just like you, with a job like you, a friend Bob like you, I like to fuck like you
Well maybe not fuck like you
But I'd fuck you too
Blow your corpse till your balls turn blue

I'm not creepy just an animal in the sack
Cause I'll cut you in half and then fuck your ass
I wanna get it on with your dad, raid the cemetery and steal the casket
Even if you're not into that
You will be once I'm done draining your fat,
You sexy fat fuck I hope you die,
That way I can shove my dick up in your eye."



K. Cook
2/15/16
#2
With so many serious songs out there I figured the world needed a little joke to lighten the mood. Here's another one. If you have any not-so-serious songs you want to post, hit up this thread.

"I'm A Pervert"


"I'm a pervert and I like it like that
Fucking up a babe, don't even know where I'm at
Watching a porno on my TV screen
I know every pornstar I've ever seen

Cause I'm a pervert
I'm a pervert
I'm a pervert
I'm a pervert

I wake up late and masturbate in bed
When I'm on a date my mind's on what's between her legs
I touch myself when I think no one can see
And girl on girl is so exciting to me

Cause I'm a pervert
I'm a pervert
I'm a pervert
I'm a pervert

Sixty-nine is my favourite number
I like girls with their own lumber

Everything's so hot
Let me touch your twat
I want to fuck you baby, and make you suck my cock

And I'm a pervert
I'm a pervert
I'm a pervert
I'm a pervert."


K. Cook
7/11/15

Enjoy (:
#3
these are not jokes the terrible and stupid not remotely funny first your gay next your a rapist. very poor waste of time
#4
Quote by Distortionx100
these are not jokes the terrible and stupid not remotely funny first your gay next your a rapist. very poor waste of time



And this is why I said don't read it if you can't take a joke......................
#5
I'm not offended this was not even a joke it was just not funny it was stupid quite frankly sorry to say but you are to
#6
Quote by Distortionx100
I'm not offended this was not even a joke it was just not funny it was stupid quite frankly sorry to say but you are to



You're calling me stupid? Excuse me but, do you know me? Your only indication of my intelligence level is through these two songs, which are actually cleverly written and follow a very strict meter that took quite a lot of training to master.

What exactly makes me stupid? Is it the fact that I write joke songs that aren't to be taken seriously? Is it the fact that my grammar and vocabulary are a thousand times better than yours? Firstly, if you are going to insult me, do it properly. In English, your message would say, "I'm not offended, this was not even a joke. It was not funny, it was stupid and frankly, sorry to say it but, so are you." Secondly, never end a sentence with words like "too", it's not correct. Thirdly, if you're going to insult someone don't say, "sorry to say". You aren't sorry. If you're going to insult me then at least be a man about it. If you're actually sorry then don't do it in the first place.

You are entitled to your opinions. I didn't care until you insulted me. Don't do it again. Let's play nice, okay?
#8
I thought it was amusing haha

Can't tell if Distortionx100 is a troll or being opinionated, but damn there are nicer ways to tell someone your opinion.

Just... poetic beauty.

"Everything's so hot
Let me touch your twat"

*sigh*

You have such a way with words haha

Edited:
Also, chordmonkey - just ignore that other guy - otherwise you'll waste half your life defending everything here against pointless aggression imo
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Last edited by scottishmob at Feb 23, 2016,
#9
Quote by scottishmob
I thought it was amusing haha

Can't tell if Distortionx100 is a troll or being opinionated, but damn there are nicer ways to tell someone your opinion.

Just... poetic beauty.

"Everything's so hot
Let me touch your twat"

*sigh*

You have such a way with words haha

Edited:
Also, chordmonkey - just ignore that other guy - otherwise you'll waste half your life defending everything here against pointless aggression imo



Thanks bro, I appreciate it. If you know any disturbing songs then please, by all means, post them here.

Stay chill homie.