#1
Is it supposed to be a romantic surprise out of nowhere

Or are there like hints and discussions that you're gonna propose beforehand

Seems a pretty huge question to spring on someone spontaneously like in da movies

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#2
>proposing
>getting married
>2016

disgusting.RAW
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#3
I would say don't ask until you're like 99% sure she's gonna say yes, then go out of your way to make it memorable.

Don't do what I did.

After babby was born, I sort of felt under a bit of pressure to get married. I wanted to, but I wanted to focus on more important things first. But everyone was going on about "Oh you should propose at Christmas that would be great".

Nah.

I finally decided to propose on my birthday a week or so later because it's the last day she would have expected and then when people asked what I got for my birthday I could say 'engaged'. So I asked her parents about a week before if they were happy to have me as part of their family, her mum got all emotional and her dad went 'sure but I'm not sure why you'd want to' in a jokey way. The plan was she was gonna go downstairs to cook me a birthday breakfast, only to return to the bedroom to find me on one knee.

So we're coming up to my birthday and it turns out her family's coming over for dinner the night before. Now her mum's a gossip, and I knew how excited she was about the prospect of me proposing. So I was worried she'd give the game away and I wondered what to do. So my sleep-deprived brain decided that while we were cleaning the house, I'd nip upstairs and grab the ring, then sneak in while she was hoovering, and when she turned around, there I was, on one knee, ring in hand. I'd prepared a little speech which I completely forgot, but she was already tearing up by then anyway so it didn't really matter. She said yes obviously.

I told her why I'd chosen that exact moment to do it, so she didn't wear the ring while her parents were round. Her mum didn't give anything away which really annoyed me.

But then we did it the wrong way round by having a kid first so it was fairly inevitable that we were gonna get married at some point anyway.
My old signature was too long. Have a daisy.

Last edited by RAB11 at Feb 23, 2016,
#4
Hell, lawyers don't care...their going to get paid either way.
Flying in a blue dream
#6
I did it when she had no clue. It's pretty obvious when you know if they'll say yes or not, so just wait until you know.
#7
I've always been under the impression that if you're in the relationship long enough, discussed or not, it's a thought that's run through their mind so it's never really a surprise. Idk how long you'd have to be in it for the timing to be right though.

Not to degrade a genuinely surprised reaction or anything, but that given proper timing (again, it varies) it's something they could've expected if they thought about it.
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#8
Quote by EndTheRapture51
Is it supposed to be a romantic surprise out of nowhere

Or are there like hints and discussions that you're gonna propose beforehand

Seems a pretty huge question to spring on someone spontaneously like in da movies


Depends on the person. Mine she was nagging me so much I did it when I had HER pick out the ring. Yes I had her do it for I know how picky she is then did it right in the store.

I would have preferred it another way but she left me with little to no choice at that point.

Now I am still waiting for us to lock down our wedding plans. Go figure!
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#10
I'd probably try to subtly discuss marriage long before actually proposing. And then I'd propose at a surprising time because I find it funny to surprise people. But I guess it depends on if the woman is the kind who liked surprises or not.

Now I just need to find my future wife, anyone know where she's got to?
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#13
I have no idea, I've never done it before.
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#15
Quote by slapsymcdougal
I have no idea, I've never done it before.


Smart man right here! Or kid for all I know...or maybe a female. Who knows for this is a forum.
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#16
Most people probably know it's coming, but you can still surprise them in the moment
___

Quote by The_Blode
she was saying things like... do you want to netflix and chill but just the chill part...too bad she'll never know that I only like the Netflix part...
#17
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Smart man right here! Or kid for all I know...or maybe a female. Who knows for this is a forum.

I'm actually the gestalt intelligence of the North Sea's population of cyanobacteria.
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#21
before you propose, do you have to ask her parents? or can you skip that part?

my gf's mom hates me so that wouldnt go over very well XD
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#22
Quote by Rocketface2112 at #33849859
before you propose, do you have to ask her parents? or can you skip that part?

my gf's mom hates me so that wouldnt go over very well XD

You're supposed to get the dad's blessing anyway if you're gonna do that, mom doesn't matter.
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#23
It depends on what I'm proposing...
“Ignorance more frequently begets confidence than does knowledge.”
Charles Darwin
#24
Quote by Rocketface2112 at #33849859
before you propose, do you have to ask her parents? or can you skip that part?

my gf's mom hates me so that wouldnt go over very well XD

most people I know who have proposed have let the girl's parents know about it. Not as a permission thing, but just as a "hey, I hope everyone is cool with this" kind of thing.
___

Quote by The_Blode
she was saying things like... do you want to netflix and chill but just the chill part...too bad she'll never know that I only like the Netflix part...
#25
We had discussed it beforehand, because we had to.

Don't be pressured by social media to have an extravagant and documented proposal
My God, it's full of stars!
#26
Quote by Rocketface2112
before you propose, do you have to ask her parents? or can you skip that part?

my gf's mom hates me so that wouldnt go over very well XD


In the olden days you asked the father's permission. Nowadays we don't own women so just check that they're open to having you as a son-in-law.
My old signature was too long. Have a daisy.

#27
we had discussed the idea of marriage and whatnot already, but unfortunately my dude's official proposal to me was on my friend's porch without a ring bc he was trying to figure out whether or not to go to the leasing office and get an apartment for us for next year before the office closed that day

obv I said yes and acted happy but I was really disappointed with how he proposed. I tried not to tell him bc I figured it wouldn't be worth it and that I should just get over it, but it came out one day when we were fighting and I was trying to express to him how I felt like I was being taken for granted in our relationship. I love my hubby and I know I mean the world to him but sometimes he was so distracted and anxious that he made me feel unloved for a portion of our relationship. it's a lot easier to talk about it now bc we are much more comfortable with communicating things to each other, but at the time I was pretty sad.

he ended up making it up to me by taking me out for a surprise dinner at the nicest restaurant in the region and driving me up our favorite lookout point (you can see mountaintops on all sides) after I fell asleep in the car. he woke me up when we got to the top and walked me out to a big boulder and re-proposed and we both just cried a bunch and gave each other lots of kisses.
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#28
That's horrendously sweet
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#29
Quote by RAB11
In the olden days you asked the father's permission. Nowadays we don't own women so just check that they're open to having you as a son-in-law.

I didnt even do that. Fuck that, I'm marrying her, not her fucking parents. They dont like it, tough shit
#30
Quote by RAB11
Nowadays we don't own women


Speak for yourself pal

I did the proper handover with the father and everything
My God, it's full of stars!
#31
Quote by Dreadnought
Speak for yourself pal

I did the proper handover with the father and everything


Nah, you probably didn't even get a decent dowry...
“Ignorance more frequently begets confidence than does knowledge.”
Charles Darwin
#32
Quote by Aeolian Harmony
That's horrendously sweet

thank you; I thought so too. he is a big ol' sweetie
Quote by Arthur Curry
it's official, vintage x metal is the saving grace of this board and/or the antichrist




e-married to
theguitarist
minterman22
tateandlyle
& alaskan_ninja

#33
( hey marry me? >



< ok )




#35
I'm still ambivalent about marriage, but I would think it's a bit unwise to propose until all parties involved are on the same page about it.
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#36
Quote by Rocketface2112
before you propose, do you have to ask her parents? or can you skip that part?

my gf's mom hates me so that wouldnt go over very well XD


Well, you're doing something right. The mother-in-law always hates the son-in-law.
Skip the username, call me Billy
#37
Quote by chrismendiola
I'm still ambivalent about marriage, but I would think it's a bit unwise to propose until all parties involved are on the same page about it.

which would be a pretty impressive feat to manage in a long-term relationship...
#38
If you haven't discussed it, your relationship probably won't handle it all that well, tbh. We had discussed it at length. Don't really think a proposal has to be over the top or anything, but you should probably at least put a bit of effort in.

I was waiting at her apartment when she came home from work a few days before Christmas with holiday tunes playing and lights set. And a fat rock. Simple, yet effective.