#1
i realized that ive been writing music for waaay too damn long to not have any music released, so ive made it my goal to finish this 6-song EP by summer so i can start recording.

currently, "seer's rage" and "two-finger salute" arent finished (though the latter is 2/3 of the way done), "around the corner" and "apathy is bliss" need guitar solos, and the vocals need to be written (this part will be easy though)

ive already posted most of these to the forums, so dont worry about critiquing anything youve already commented on (unless you have new input)

let me know if i should add any other songs to this EP (maybe an acoustic song or prog rock song that ive already finished)

positive and negative feedback are welcome, as long as its specific/detailed

Update: the album has gone through quite a few changes. after finding out how much of a bitch it is to get the license for a cover song, i decided to keep the ariels cover as just a possible extra.

now, theres a mini/intro song, ariels has been replaced by a remix of an old song of mine, seer's rage is (basically) completed (no vocals and i want to use more ambience), and ive completed vocals for the whole escape act series

you know the drill: boost the reverb for lead, clean, and ambience tracks (in that order) for the best sound
Attachments:
A glimpse into the mind of a demented gentleman.zip
#2
I'm gonna crit a couple of 'em.

Around the Corner:
This intro is sick af lmao, really great rhythm. Bar 13 of intro b is a nice touch.
Choruses are cool. So far the piece has been pretty subdued, which isn't a bad thing but I'm hoping it crescendos later on.

I'm curious as to how the solos will turn out; I was thinking you might solo over the chorus riff which kind of has a more "emotional" vibe to it. At bar 83, in track 6, is that supposed to be a different instrument? You can't really hear what the pad is doing.

Well, the piece didn't crescendo has hugely as I wanted to, but it was still a pretty good medium-energy piece.

Seer's Rage:
The intro (Uncertainty+Uneasiness) works well for what it is. Rotations a and b have some sweet drumwork. This song is definitely a little more in-your-face than the last.

Haha, it reminds me of sikth at 27. I can just imagine some sikth-style vocals over it.

The tinges of chromaticism at 45 are pretty cool, I look forward to seeing where you go with this piece.

two-finger salute:
Oh shiiiit, this intro is so good. bars 6-7 and 12-13 have some sick chords.

This chugging is juuuust tolerable hahahah. At least it's not a full on breakdown. Riff at bar 37 makes up for it though. Bar 41 is seriously awesome.

I'm a bit uncertain about that transition between 47-48. I'm not sure if it's too fast, or if it sounds tacked on because the drums at 48 haven't been changed at all from the intro. I personally would probably put at least an eighth note silence at the end of 47, or change the drums at 48, or both.

148 is fucking awesome after all that peacefulness. I'm hoping it comes back after 156, or at least something similarly dark. Ahh it goes into something more consonant, nbd.

179 - the accidental in the bass is super nice

194 - I'm hoping this is building up to something huge, because that'd be sick. Maybe lead into a solo or something. This part just sounds like it's where the piece gets serious, if that makes sense - like it's all about to come together at this point.

But you went into 207, which I wasn't a huge fan of. It kinda killed all the energy from before. But I liked everything before 207.
#3
for around the corner, im not sure what ill use for the part on bar 83. i repurposed the whole "power metal" riff and onwards from something song i wrote a long time ago (the song was pretty good, but had serious flaws). originally that part used strings, and i might still use that. its just there as-is to serve as a template

yeah, seer's rage is going to be an absolute ludicrous beast of a piece haha the song is based on my first (and only) salvia trip, which was the most terrifying and batshit crazy experience of my life, but it was also extremely interesting, so i have high hopes for this piece too. and because of how absurd the experience was, there will be TONS of wacky/absurd sikth-style vocals, dont worry

two-finger salute is going to be bizarre too, but more so in terms of structure rather than the actual riffs (there will be wacky sikth-style vocals in this one too though). its musically kind of my "fuck you" to society and societal standards, and i planned on it having little-to-no structure (perhaps i may have done that too well ). ive been struggling with that transition for a while, and youre not the only one whos pointed it out. id love to hear some suggestions

i just remembered that i never labeled the sections for this song (based on the theme, maybe i shouldnt ). i was planning on starting the solo at 215 and going through multiple moods/rhythms, but i see what you mean about the buildup. i might have to bring that part back for the solo

i love that heavy-ass riff at 148 too haha i want to bring it back, but im not sure when. maybe after the solo, or during the solo idk, what do you think?
Last edited by pAWNlol at Feb 27, 2016,
#4
The Aerials cover is very good. I think the additions work nicely. I feel the solo is a lot of shredding for the sake of shredding. This song would do really well with some more slowness and melody in the solo. It starts off very promising. I think the way it speeds up during the fast chugs is perfect, but I think some sort of return to a slow pace afterwards would work better. It goes from 60-100 and never comes back down. I think the end of it works well though.

Around the Corner
I love the Chorus riff, but it feels more like it should be a verse riff for a different song. Maybe ifI heard it with a vocal line I'd feel differently though. With the post-chorus having the same bass rhythm it makes it feel like the chorus has gone on too long in my opinion. Or maybe just the post-chorus needs to halved.
Love the power metal riff section.
Love the transition from Solo A to Solo B.
Again, maybe I'd feel differently hearing it with lead guitar over these parts, but at the end of solo b it feels the riff has finished where it should, then it repeats again with a loss of hope. The pacing of Solo A and Solo B makes the added section feel like its dragging the riff along too long for me. I like the way a loss of hope ends though, maybe incorporate it into the end of solo b.
The ending I think could use a descending lead riff over the top of it. instead of holding a quarter note, add some more notes, then go up an octave to descend for the last two measures.
#5
yeah, youre not the first person to mention that about the ariels solo, and i agree. i need to work on that

and the solo for around the corner will definitely improve that section once its done. im not sure what you mean about the ending though. do you mean right before those repeated chords on 116?

also im not really satisfied with the transition into the chorus (at least not the first one). id love some suggestions for that
Last edited by pAWNlol at Feb 28, 2016,