#1
I'm not going to lie- I'm going to lie

I'm going to be honest- I'm not going to be honest. I am a deceitful person and I'm not going to change.

All right, here's what happened- I'm going to make this up as I go along.

I didn't do nuthin-I committed a crime.

Feel free to add any other extra words used by liars. This is a common way for police to spot a potential liar, extra words. So remember that and don't look up to the left when you are making up a lie. That shows that you are accessing the creative area of the brain.
Also blinking a lot, like Richard Nixon. Tension. even a dog can spot that across the street.
So to be a proficient liar you must train yourself to the calm . Look at them straight in the eye, unflinching when you tell your lie.
#4
I'm going to lie- I'm not going to lie

I'm not going to be honest. I am a deceitful person and I'm not going to change- I'm going to be honest.

I'm going to make this up as I go along- All right, here's what happened.

I committed a crime- I didn't do nuthin.
Quote by EndTheRapture51
who pays five hundred fucking dollars for a burger
#6
"it's this economy"......some cases it is, but I here people use this when it isn't the case at all


oh yeah, translated...if cant afford to give you that raise(when there is years of work lined up and somehow the boss has a bunch of new toys, I cant find a job(when there are jobs), I cant pay my bills( I drink, drug and smoke like the world is ending)....and others especially in politics
Last edited by mattedbird at Feb 27, 2016,
#8
The old classic 'I aint racist but..' = about to say racist stuff.
o()o

Quote by JamSessionFreak
yes every night of my entire life i go to bed crying because i wasnt born american
#9
I'm not saying it's ________, but...

Yeah, you are, but you're too chickenshit to own it.
“Ignorance more frequently begets confidence than does knowledge.”
Charles Darwin
#10
What!!?? How dare you accuse me of lying!!?? =I just told you a massive lie and am genuinely upset that you don't trust me enough to accept my lies at face value...and if I express anger at your accusations then I might be able to turn this around and make it all about how YOU and your lack of trust.

*smiling while denying of serious accusation* =I'm lying and my word is all you have so as long as I stick to my lie you will never know the truth.

I swear to god =I sincerely want you to believe I am sincere...

*repeats question* =I just need a little more time to think up a good lie

*looking straight in your eyes really intensely to the point of opening their eyes extra wide and pushing their face forward while lying to you* =I know that it is often said that people won't look someone in the eye when they are lying to them, so I want you to notice that I'm looking you in the eye when I tell you this lie because I think it will make me more believable.
Si
#11
what a generalisation that couldn't possibly be wrong

I say all of those things, and I usually tell the truth when I do use them, so when I don't, I'm more likely to be lying
A poem.
Quote by yoman297
no girl, movember isnt for you. shave your stache pls

I can out-bore you any day
#12
Quote by Pastafarian96
what a generalisation that couldn't possibly be wrong

I say all of those things, and I usually tell the truth when I do use them, so when I don't, I'm more likely to be lying

^It's phrases commonly used by liars translated.
It's not "phrases ONLY liars use".

Of course honest people say a lot of those things.

But the point of the thread is when liars say "X" they actually mean "Y"

A little comprehension goes a long way and it's jut a bit of fun man.
Si
#13
Quote by 20Tigers at #33856200
^It's phrases commonly used by liars translated.
It's not "phrases ONLY liars use". Of course honest people say a lot of those things. But when liars say it this is a translation. - It's jut a bit of fun man. Chill out

thank you for making me realise that
I should probably eat someting and not be grouchy
A poem.
Quote by yoman297
no girl, movember isnt for you. shave your stache pls

I can out-bore you any day
#14
"Ignorance is bliss." Translation: I'm either stupid, or evil in a banal way.


"It was a joke, bro!" Translation: I don't believe in consequences.
.
Last edited by Fat Lard at Feb 27, 2016,
#15
Quote by mattedbird
"it's this economy"......some cases it is, but I here people use this when it isn't the case at all


oh yeah, translated...if cant afford to give you that raise(when there is years of work lined up and somehow the boss has a bunch of new toys, I cant find a job(when there are jobs), I cant pay my bills( I drink, drug and smoke like the world is ending)....and others especially in politics

This is the excuse used by wankers in my home town to explain why they never amounted to anything.
Come back if you want to
And remember who you are
‘Cause there's nothing here for you my dear
And everything must pass
#16
Quote by i_lovemetallica
This is the excuse used by wankers in my home town to explain why they never amounted to anything.

I've never used the economy as an excuse for anything. I haven't amounted to anything because I'm a lazy mofo
Si
#17
Quote by 20Tigers
I've never used the economy as an excuse for anything. I haven't amounted to anything because I'm a lazy mofo

Props for honesty

A girl I went to high school with kept bitching on Facebook about how she couldn't acheive any of her goals because the economy was too tough......I told her that running a bookshop was a doomed enterprise....and she blocked me.
Come back if you want to
And remember who you are
‘Cause there's nothing here for you my dear
And everything must pass
#18
Just wear suits and pretend you are rich.
I know tons of people who call that amounting to something
#19
Quote by Pastafarian96
what a generalisation that couldn't possibly be wrong

I say all of those things, and I usually tell the truth when I do use them, so when I don't, I'm more likely to be lying

pathological liar in denial , bullshitting hisownself
Last edited by yope at Feb 27, 2016,
#20
Quote by i_lovemetallica
Props for honesty

A girl I went to high school with kept bitching on Facebook about how she couldn't acheive any of her goals because the economy was too tough......I told her that running a bookshop was a doomed enterprise....and she blocked me.

anything is unless you can eat it or fuck it ,those sell .
#21
Quote by yope
Feel free to add any other extra words used by liars.


I swear to god! = I don't believe in god, and I'll say anything to get out of this situation.

I swear on my kids/mother/father! = I hate my family, and I'm also lying to you.
mmmmmmhmmm

That's exactly what I've been trying to say.

Quote by munkymanmatt
brilliant
#22
You don't know what you're talking about, that never happened. = All the relevant aspects of what you just described are right on the money, but you got a couple of irrelevant details wrong. (e.g. we didn't go back to his place we went to a motel)

I love you =I love myself and what you can do for me, I dgaf about you

Hi, my name is C******e = Hi, I am the devil in a skirt and I'm going to fuck you up
Si
#25
Quote by Fat Lard
"I don't do that on the first date! xD"


She does it on the first date

"I'm not like other girls"=She is exactly like all the girls you hate.
Come back if you want to
And remember who you are
‘Cause there's nothing here for you my dear
And everything must pass
#28
Quote by 20Tigers
What!!?? How dare you accuse me of lying!!?? =I just told you a massive lie and am genuinely upset that you don't trust me enough to accept my lies at face value...and if I express anger at your accusations then I might be able to turn this around and make it all about how YOU and your lack of trust.

*smiling while denying of serious accusation* =I'm lying and my word is all you have so as long as I stick to my lie you will never know the truth.

I swear to god =I sincerely want you to believe I am sincere...

*repeats question* =I just need a little more time to think up a good lie

*looking straight in your eyes really intensely to the point of opening their eyes extra wide and pushing their face forward while lying to you* =I know that it is often said that people won't look someone in the eye when they are lying to them, so I want you to notice that I'm looking you in the eye when I tell you this lie because I think it will make me more believable.


thank you, you reminded me of another indication of possible lie- raised eyebrows , eyes wide open. So if you want to tell a lie well you remain calm and relax. This is part of the no tension thing I talked about.

I cannot believe the people on those cop shows. When the cop stops a guy and he's got something to hide he cannot control himself. Sweating and shaking almost jumping out of the seat. Then again how stupid do you have to be to be driving drunk without a license, have warrants out on you and have drugs in the car. Someone that stupid probably doesn't have any self-control.

It goes without saying these indications are not proof. They are indicators of increased likelihood of dishonesty.