#2
reaction 1: omfg

reaction 2: this is very beautiful

reaction 3 (via andrew): this is important


more details in a bit, but I wanted to give you some first impressions. the shapes in cicadas reminds me of fireflies on summer nights, or the sounds of the different cicadas in different parts of the tree buzzing as you get closer. cumulus was also very beautiful in its movement & cloudlike. you incorporate many highly architectural phrases and images, which (of course) I enjoy a lot and gives such a tactile/embodied feel to each piece. I like how situated the pieces are, and how connected the reader's situation becomes w/ the clockface showing the time of reading, grounding the pieces throughout.

wonderful work, a pleasure to read and very impressive. let's chat on the phone this week more about it and about the upcoming reading (this gives me lots of ideas for projections)
Quote by Arthur Curry
it's official, vintage x metal is the saving grace of this board and/or the antichrist




e-married to
theguitarist
minterman22
tateandlyle
& alaskan_ninja

#3
I've had this open all day, it is absolutely mesmerising. I love how the moving and changing forces you to completely engage with the text, and all the emphasis you draw out, the whole thing is almost a piece of music.

I think cicadas is the most effective, the visual contrast and pacing work to complete this perfect texture - for me it is standing with a friend on the windblown top of a hill that overlooks a town I grew up near, watching the lights blink out, discovering glow worms in the long grass (first time we'd ever seen them) then looking over the other side into this deep, turbulent blackness that felt like the end of the world.

I seemed to prefer cumulus by night than by day, though I can't put my finger on why. It is a great insight into that feeling of walking around an abandoned building, and the specifics you pick out. Maybe I'd like to see a bit more content here, a build on both the sky and after-school imagery, the loop seems a bit too short for the drifting nature - could you randomise it at all? would be interesting to have some system (chaotic maybe) that creates its own spacial organisation/line order. What about having some variation in the speed the text moves, gradually speeding up then slowing down. How did you find the process of writing with coding? I'm interested in the limitations and the flow, as it's something I only see occasionally and rarely see done this well.

The space in restricted lane doesn't quite work for me, the curve sort of feels unnatural - maybe try "sketching" it from a real section of road, I often find my own work falls short if it isn't solidly built in a place. Also the pace the words move at isn't quite right for me, it doesn't quite capture the serenity, the dissociation, from letting your thoughts run while driving that I feel you're going for. Maybe greater spacing between lines would make this a bit bolder.

Growth feels so squidgy, like rotting wooden floorboards in a house thats been open to the elements for way to long. Ending on "remain" with that much emphasis is such a strong statement, though the detail you add after it is effective (just feels like it comes before chronologically).

The process of revisiting behind this, and a lot of your subject matter, really speaks to me and touches on a lot of the same areas I am interested in, but with a refreshing and almost uniquely tangible approach. Thank you for posting, this is so great.
#4
Thanks so much, both of you.

Saadia - I forgot to call you last week but I won't forget this week. I'm having projection thoughts about this too.

Oscar - I feel a lot of tension with restricted lane currently; thanks for your suggestions on that one particularly. I love the memory you linked to cicadas. I've never seen a glow worm.

Quote by doubtfulsalmon
How did you find the process of writing with coding? I'm interested in the limitations and the flow


I was fortunate enough to take a class in college that focused on creative writing in digital contexts. It was very general and didn't focus much on coding itself, but it got me reading electronic literature and thinking about things differently on a screen. J.R. Carpenter is probably my favorite person writing in this area. ...and by islands I mean paragraphs is a good place to start with her. She also has a critical article, A Handmade Web, that I find useful in thinking about this kind of work. The Electronic Literature Collection is a great resource as well. My coding knowledge is limited, but I've been able to teach myself some basics on w3schools.
Last edited by brokencoastline at Mar 15, 2016,