#1
Apparently the best time to fart in a relationship is 2-6 months in.

Back in the day, you could fart before you even said 'hi' to them, because you couldn't smell farts through the smoke in bars.

When was the first time you farted in front of your current or most recent partner(boy, girl or body pillow)? Has it ever gone badly wrong? Did it go as badly as this thread?
#4
Quote by Ichikurosaki
body pillow? well i fart every day and never leave my room
Animal! She deserves better than that.


She deserves to be locked up in the closet so not to be exposed to the farts.
#5
I have never farted in front of anyone, family included. I got slapped and told off pretty severely as a kid after an accidental discharge. My farts are silent, odorless, and trained to disperse immediately. Capture by nasal cavity is not an option.
#8
Quote by ali.guitarkid7
I have never farted in front of anyone, family included. I got slapped and told off pretty severely as a kid after an accidental discharge. My farts are silent, odorless, and trained to disperse immediately. Capture by nasal cavity is not an option.

Why did you get slapped and told off if you've never farted in front of anyone? Was it just a pre-emptive strike?
#9
My wife and I do it all the time because we find them funny. Farts will always be funny. The noise is generated from the sound of of your buttocks vibrating as the wind passes through. That is funny.

Cupcaking is where we draw the line however.
#10
Dare I ask what cupcaking is?
Quote by MakinLattes
I'd kill you and wear your skin.
Quote by Siv During Livh
To attempt to have intercourse with a hornet's nest is a very bad idea,

Voted UG's worst cross dresser.
Also voted #95 on UG's Top 100 2013. Like it means anything....
#11
Pretty sure I've never done it in front of her and we've been living together nearly 6 years. The only time I fart anyway is sometimes when having a shit I just don't get them like "normal" people do. I'm a fart freak
#12
the sooner the better. and if they aren't in the room when you do it, call them in there and tell them you got something they gotta see.
#14
I've never done it in front of someone I was seeing/interested in because I'm all about the #PCclench, you uncultured swine
.
#15
it breaks the ice. once you do it enough, she will join in. no point in either of you sitting there in pain.
#16
Quote by korinaflyingv
Why did you get slapped and told off if you've never farted in front of anyone? Was it just a pre-emptive strike?

Not counting anything before age 12. Also not counting times when someone was around but were none the wiser. This is too semantic a point to make yanno
#17
Last time I was seeing some girl I never farted in front of her at all
Assuming I get a gf at some future point in my life I intend on never farting in front of her because some things should be kept to yourself (my farts smell so wonderful I cannot possibly share them with anyone else or something)
I have nothing important to say
#19
Quote by mattedbird
the sooner the better. and if they aren't in the room when you do it, call them in there and tell them you got something they gotta see.


nice
#20
Quote by muffinduck01
Dare I ask what cupcaking is?


Cup your hand
bring it to yer butt
unload the glory into thy hand
close fist and release in someone's face

Sometimes if its real bad you can taste it
#21
Quote by Rebel Scum
Cup your hand
bring it to yer butt
unload the glory into thy hand
close fist and release in someone's face

Sometimes if its real bad you can taste it

this is a great way to wake someone up....I know as a kid
#22
Quote by Rebel Scum
Cup your hand
bring it to yer butt
unload the glory into thy hand
close fist and release in someone's face

Sometimes if its real bad you can taste it


fucking hell
#23
Just layin in bed with her once.


Her first time around me was much more embarrassing. Think of the worst possible time for a girl to fart around her guy. That was it.
Check out my band Disturbed
#24
Quote by Rebel Scum
Cup your hand
bring it to yer butt
unload the glory into thy hand
close fist and release in someone's face

Sometimes if its real bad you can taste it

I recall doing something similar, but a bit more...


#25
Quote by ali.guitarkid7
I have never farted in front of anyone, family included. I got slapped and told off pretty severely as a kid after an accidental discharge. My farts are silent, odorless, and trained to disperse immediately. Capture by nasal cavity is not an option.
The supposed story of Metrocles' conversion to Cynicism is reported by Diogenes Laërtius. Metrocles had apparently farted while practicing a speech, and became so upset that he shut himself up in his home, attempting to commit suicide by starving himself. Crates visited him and made him a dinner of lupines, explaining to him that what he had done was according to nature and therefore nothing to be ashamed of. When Crates himself farted to demonstrate how natural it was, Metrocles was persuaded to let go of his shame.

Whether or not this story is true, the symbolism for the Cynics is that it demonstrated the worthlessness of Metrocles' education up until that time. As a pupil of Theophrastus he may have learned a lot of information, but he was still obsessed with social conventions and good manners, to the point of being ready to die from embarrassment. With Crates' help he was able to let go of his old ways and embrace a Cynic life free from convention, and find true happiness.