#2
I really liked it man!
The build up before the heavy bit was really nice, and some of the riffage was awesome!
I think it'd need a bit of lead sprinkled hear and there if it was to stay as an instrumental, just to keep a firm interest throughout, but i think it'd be pretty awesome to add some lyrics too.
#3
Pretty good. I like the usage of natural harmonics. Guitar tone's really good too. I like the twin lead thing too. I definitely wouldn't call it "boring" or "generic". Not in the age where "Prog" means playing an open 0 for 5 minutes while some guy sings pseudo-philosophy bullshit over it.

I figure in the interest of fairness I'll show you the last couple minutes to a prog song of mine, so that way it's generally even. Let me know what you think, especially in terms of like, riffs and songwriting and stuff -

Alchemical Tongue (Rough Draft)

If that link doesn't work right, scroll to 17:48 into the video. Yes, it's a 20 minute song. That's how I roll.
If there is a God, it's me.
#4
Nice to see that you've paid the effort to do a track this long. I think this long a track with the amount of repetation should have vocals. I'd easily see someone jamming something crazy with their voice.

For improvements I'm gonna pick a few:
-Guitar tone was fuzzy and trebly. I'm not sure with what you have recorded this, but you should try to reduce the fuzziness. This really affects your listening experience as trebly and fuzzy guitar tone rips ears like a buzzsaw.
-Some out-of-time playing: practice, practice and practice. This was most notable on clean guitar, but is easily fixed by practicing and focusing on those beats.
-I'm not sure if should be one track or two tracks. The mood changes thoroughly between the first part and the second. Maybe vocals could tie these together better.
-A bit awkward sounding programmed drums: I do have to deal with this problem with my own recordings, but is curable with just trying. Try to adjust the velocity of the hits and try to think like a drummer to get the chops to sound like the real deal.
-Somewhat related to the third, but repetation kills the interest. Try to get some variance with the riffs. Just make small adjustments, fills and so on to keep it out of the boring zone. (Vocals??)

Keep it going!
#5
Hey man. I like the opening. The clean tones are nice and set the song up nicely. There are some timing issues but actually I quite like the vibe that gives the song and I prefer that to military precision. The drop into the heavy part is nice and big so good job mixing that.

Nice change up around 4:20. It comes a bit out of the blue but works. Given the length of the song I think you need to add either some leads or some vocals but it is a strong basis for a song. The harmonic parts towards the end are great.

C4C? https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1699686
#6
This reminded me of Down. I never really listened to their stuff thoroughly but it.really made me think of their stuff. Now, the intro sounded very good to me. For real! The only thing I would touch up on would be the timing on notes and all... I'm assuming the drums are programmed, and that really makes misplaced notes veeeery notable, but that's an easy thing to take care of!
The transitions from clean to heavy were pretty good, since it doesn't through a person off completely; they settle into each other well enough to know that they're both part of the same song
Now, about the transition at 4:20... it could have been done better. Given they're the same song, maybe letting the guitars ring out partially and then kicking in would have been a better choice then to fade them out and make it sound like the next track came in. But if that was what you were going for then forget anything I said! xD I liked how those twin licks came back in at a faster tempo in the end.
This was all very creative, actually and I hope you're growing in the production side of things. I believe you could do wonders

Here's my own track (latest) and I would like to know your thoughts on it. I'm an amateur myself:
https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1698513