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#1
I moved into an apartment a little over a month ago with roommates. They are a couple with their own room, and I am single with my own room.

Things are good for the most part, but the girl's brother has essentially moved in and is sleeping over every night. We have lived here for like 40 days and he has slept here probably 30-35 of those days. He isn't paying rent and I never agreed to live with him. I know I am on my own if problems come up because originally it would be 2 people against me, but now it is 3 people against me. The funny thing is that I was going to have a friend over to jam with headphones on in my room with the door closed, and I let my roommate know as a courtesy, and she said no because she "didn't feel like hanging out."

The main problem is that I work early in the morning and they all hang out in the living room talking and laughing until 4am, but ask me to be quiet when I get ready for work in the morning while they are sleeping.

How should I confront these people?
#2
Not living with strangers hmu

But seriously, if they're that bad, talk to them about it, making it clear you have no problems with talking to the landlord if they keep being inconsiderate.
My old signature was too long. Have a daisy.

Last edited by RAB11 at Mar 29, 2016,
#3
Joke answer: one at a time, and with a knife

Serious answer: what Rab said
Quote by Diemon Dave
Don't go ninjerin nobody don't need ninjerin'
#5
Quote by chronic_stp at #33899727
The funny thing is that I was going to have a friend over to jam with headphones on in my room with the door closed, and I let my roommate know as a courtesy, and she said no because she "didn't feel like hanging out."



Wtf? That's just unnecessarily rude. It's your friend, they don't have to hang out with him. Either stop letting them take advantage of you or move out.


You'll most likely want to try to move out. If that's just how they are, they are unlikely to change even if you do speak up.
#6
We are all on a lease together and there is a required 2 month notice and $2000 fine for leaving early or legal action will be taken for damages- I signed it

I'm trying to put myself in my male roommate's perspective and wonder why he would want to sleep with his girlfriend's brother on the floor next to him and his girlfriend every night... unless they're all into some pretty weird shit I don't know about
#7
Find a polite way of telling them to fuck themselves

EDIT: ^ Apparently I don't need to

Quote by RAB11
Not living with strangers hmu

But seriously, if they're that bad, talk to them about it, making it clear you have no problems with talking to the landlord if they keep being inconsiderate.

or that
#8
Well then I guess until your lease is up you either have to speak up or just stop following their dumb rules. Like you shouldn't even have to ask for permission to have a friend over, especially since they didn't ask you if it was okay if her brother basically moves into the apartment. You don't really owe them anything.
#9
Ok little pupper listen up ur gonna want four things. A gun a tub a hacksaw and sulfuric acid. Good luck.
There's nothing left here to be saved
Just barreling dogs and barking trains
Another year lost to the blue line
#10
Quote by MeGaDeth2314
Well then I guess until your lease is up you either have to speak up or just stop following their dumb rules. Like you shouldn't even have to ask for permission to have a friend over, especially since they didn't ask you if it was okay if her brother basically moves into the apartment. You don't really owe them anything.


True. Im thinking about just giving them a taste of their own medicine and having one of my friends who needs a place to stay until his new apartment is ready in 2 weeks come live with me without notifying my roommates.
#11
Quote by chronic_stp
True. Im thinking about just giving them a taste of their own medicine and having one of my friends who needs a place to stay until his new apartment is ready in 2 weeks come live with me without notifying my roommates.

I'm usually the last person to say be petty, but I feel like you should be
#12
I understand letting them know you're bringing someone round; that's just courtesy. But kneeling for them when they say "no"?

Grow up and bring your friend round.
they're coming to take me away
ha-haaa
#14
Tell them to go fuck themselves

Stand up for yourself a little mate, you don't need permission to have a mate over, no offence but you sound like a bit of a doormat. I completely understand because I used to be the same, and arguing with people you live with can be really shitty. But at the end of the day it sounds like you're having a shit time anyway
Eat your pheasant
Drink your wine
Your days are numbered, bourgeois swine!
#15
Violence and vandalism seems to be the consensus and thats why I like coming to the pit for stuff
#17
But my post promotes peace and love. A gun to represent loyalty, a tub so you have someone else to wash behind your ears, a hacksaw to cut up some tough meat when you throw a barbecue and sulfuric acid in case your car battery dies when you're on a road trip together.
There's nothing left here to be saved
Just barreling dogs and barking trains
Another year lost to the blue line
#18
Poop in their shower
Come back if you want to
And remember who you are
‘Cause there's nothing here for you my dear
And everything must pass
#19
Quote by chronic_stp
The main problem is that I work early in the morning and they all hang out in the living room talking and laughing until 4am, but ask me to be quiet when I get ready for work in the morning while they are sleeping.

How should I confront these people?


why on earth should you consider them when you get up in the morning, after they've shown you such blatant inconsideration. if they complain about the noise you make when you get up, complain about the noise they make when you are trying to sleep

aside from that, just tell them what you told us. and be more assertive.
O what a disgrace if such a despised and base race, which worships demons, should conquer a people which has the faith of omnipotent God and is made glorious with the name of Christ!

The music winners listen to
#21
Depends on the situation. If the girl and her brother are foreigners sometimes dossing on one's couch is the only way to move into a foreign country. Its accepted practice in the U.K. for example with antipodeans.

I'd just ask the chick whats the deal with her brother. Don't make a big deal about it. Just ask what his situation is. If push comes to shove I guarantee it says on your lease that only x number of people are supposed to stay there and it'll be who's on the lease.

As Blade22 said, you sound like a doormat. The way you say your friend is coming over is that he's coming and you're letting her know in advance, not asking for her permission.

The biggest problem you've got however, is you're living in an apartment with a couple and couples will always end up taking over the place. They need to accept that if they want the cheaper rent they have to live with a stranger who has their own rights for living in the same space. Its a fucking fact of life they just don't like it cos it doesn't suit them.

Its not like you're a fucking moray eel or something. Just stay in your hole and don't come out.
#22
Quote by korinaflyingv
^ i thought you were dead. where have you been?


i am back to continue the spread of METAL FORCE

forgive me but i don't remember who you are haha

i just went off listening to other music for a few years, working, getting into gaming
O what a disgrace if such a despised and base race, which worships demons, should conquer a people which has the faith of omnipotent God and is made glorious with the name of Christ!

The music winners listen to
Last edited by MHDrunk at Mar 29, 2016,
#23
Wow this is like a #LyleThread.

First off you have to politely but firmly tell them to be quiet during unsociable hours – set a quiet time that everyone has to shut up from – I’d say 11pm to 9am are good hours for this although if you’re at work early make it til 7 or etc.

With the brother and rent issue there’s not a lot you can do. He’s staying there and if my sister was turfed out then I would let her stay here but just split the rent 50/50 between me and my housemate – bills are a different issue. If he’s living here, using your water, electricity and internet etc. then you have to say that you’re splitting the bill 3 ways – it’s unfair that you are covering his portion of the rent.
#24
Quote by MHDrunk
i am back to continue the spread of METAL FORCE

forgive me but i don't remember who you are haha

i just went off listening to other music for a few years, working, getting into gaming

That is understandable, I've never really posted that much. I just remember you being quite funny and opinionated in the metal forum.
#26
Quote by korinaflyingv
That is understandable, I've never really posted that much. I just remember you being quite funny and opinionated in the metal forum.



welll im back good and proper but these days it seems only a select few regulars post there and i have noone to be funny and opinionated against
O what a disgrace if such a despised and base race, which worships demons, should conquer a people which has the faith of omnipotent God and is made glorious with the name of Christ!

The music winners listen to
#28
don't be a passive aggressive female.

confront them now, directly, to their faces, in a respectful way.

it might get better, it might get worse, but it certainly won't get better if you're passive aggressive about it.
and harry doesn't mind if he doesn't make the scene
#29
Just go about your business as normal, show them the same amount of consideration they have shown you. And when the contract is up get the hell out of there. Simple.
#30
I dunno what to add except that sometimes rental agreements have a "no-subletting" clause that prohibits tenants from having de facto live-in guests who aren't paying and aren't part of an insurance plan for possible damages. So if your roommates aren't responsive to being asked to behave like reasonable people, you can go the annoying (but often effective) litigious route.

That wouldn't entirely solve the issue of them staying up late/being noisy at inopportune times, but perhaps getting the brother out while putting your foot down would cut down on their tendency to treat you unfairly.
#31
It sounds like they could be in violation of the lease agreement. Talk to them about their behavior, and if they don't respect that talk to the landlord.
#32
Either stand up or shut up. It really is just that simple.

The brother isn't on the lease, ask them to ask him to leave. If they don't, you ask him to leave. If he doesn't, involve the landlord.

If you want people over, have them over.

Don't be a dick though, be as considerate as you would want them to be, being a dick just gives them "reasons" to continue their behavior. Just don't let them walk on you.
“Ignorance more frequently begets confidence than does knowledge.”
Charles Darwin
#34
Quote by chronic_stp
We are all on a lease together and there is a required 2 month notice and $2000 fine for leaving early or legal action will be taken for damages- I signed it

I'm trying to put myself in my male roommate's perspective and wonder why he would want to sleep with his girlfriend's brother on the floor next to him and his girlfriend every night... unless they're all into some pretty weird shit I don't know about


Contact whoever wrote the lease and let them know the couple brought in another person to live there. Or demand the rent is split to accommodate for the new addition.
Quote by EndTheRapture51
Anyway I have technically statutory raped #nice

Quote by EndThecRinge51
once a girl and i promised to never leave each other

since that promise was broken

i dont make promises any more
#35
if you're a passive person, time to get rid of that. roommates can push you to your limits if you don't put your foot down pretty quick.

keep an eye on the toilet paper inventory too
#36
Quote by Arby911 at #33900224
Either stand up or shut up. It really is just that simple.

The brother isn't on the lease, ask them to ask him to leave. If they don't, you ask him to leave. If he doesn't, involve the landlord.

If you want people over, have them over.

Don't be a dick though, be as considerate as you would want them to be, being a dick just gives them "reasons" to continue their behavior. Just don't let them walk on you.


Eat your pheasant
Drink your wine
Your days are numbered, bourgeois swine!
#37
You made a mistake taking "no" for an answer. You've given them the agency to shit on you. It may not be too late if you stand up for yourself soon.
Free Ali
#38
this is why some kind of a room mate agreement is needed before you move in. you don't have to go all sheldon with this but some basic rules and understandings are needed.

at this point you need to speak up. without being a total dick about it (but stern enough to make them understand you mean business) you need to speak your mind. look into renters laws where you are as well. the lease might not be as iron clad as you think.
#40
Quote by chronic_stp
I moved into an apartment a little over a month ago with roommates. They are a couple with their own room, and I am single with my own room.

Things are good for the most part, but the girl's brother has essentially moved in and is sleeping over every night. We have lived here for like 40 days and he has slept here probably 30-35 of those days. He isn't paying rent and I never agreed to live with him. I know I am on my own if problems come up because originally it would be 2 people against me, but now it is 3 people against me. The funny thing is that I was going to have a friend over to jam with headphones on in my room with the door closed, and I let my roommate know as a courtesy, and she said no because she "didn't feel like hanging out."

The main problem is that I work early in the morning and they all hang out in the living room talking and laughing until 4am, but ask me to be quiet when I get ready for work in the morning while they are sleeping.

How should I confront these people?


Just remember the one to get angry first always loses.
Be courteous, honestly, make a list of the things they do that bother you (try not to include things that the average person wouldn't be bothered by, I've learned from dorming that even your best friend can get on your nerves). Then just talk to them politely. Assuming you respect their bullshit demands, this shouldn't be a problem unless they're scumbags.
As for the brother moving in, they'll probably get sick of him eventually if he isn't paying them at least. And if he is, I'm pretty sure that's illegal, talk to the landlord.
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