Page 1 of 2
#1
So I have been hanging out with this girl who I like a lot and we have had a laugh and a great time etc. Shes really into myself a lot and stayed over. Tried to give me a birthday present (ahem) but the issue is the girl is attractive (well good genes) but she doesn't do any of the usual girly stuff eg she has short hair because she cant be bothered with long hair, she doesn't wear any skin treatments her skin is bad, she has discoloured teeth and she looks quite unhealthy.

Maybe in shallow but do you think I should just knock her back or say id be happy to be your boyfriend but I need you to make an effort?
Last edited by AndersM1 at Mar 30, 2016,
#2
nah, don't even bother. if she won't look pretty for you while you're not dating, what does that say about when you are?
#4
If that stuff matters to you more than her personality, I'd say no. But mainly for her sake.

Like as if someone preferring short hair is 'not making an effort'

Jeez.
My old signature was too long. Have a daisy.

Last edited by RAB11 at Mar 30, 2016,
#5
I don't think you should leave such an important and personal life descision up to a forum, much less, have the determining factor be appearances.

If you can't get past it, don't.
Quote by snipelfritz
You lost me at "Lubricate."

I'm raw, like nature. Nature boy. Big jungle leaves are my cum rags.

Sometimes I fuck a bamboo shoot.


There's nothing left here to be saved
Just barreling dogs and barking trains
Another year lost to the blue line
Last edited by Joshua Garcia at Mar 30, 2016,
#6
Quote by AndersM1 at #33902250
id be happy to be your boyfriend but I need you to make an effort?


seriously seriously no
dirtbag ballet by the bins down the alley
as i walk through the chalet of the shadow of death
everything that you've come to expect


#9
Quote by StewieSwan
don't date a meth addict, no


How date you Sir, she is simply British.
#13
Asides form discoloured teeth, I fail to see the problem here.

You'd make a thimble look like a bucket.
Quote by EndTheRapture51
who pays five hundred fucking dollars for a burger
#14
Quote by chrismendiola
I don't think it's in anyone's best interest to date you.


So you have always dated people who amazing personalities that you were not physically attracted to?
#15
Quote by AndersM1
So you have always dated people who amazing personalities that you were not physically attracted to?

Yes.
#16
Quote by AndersM1
So you have always dated people who amazing personalities that you were not physically attracted to?


I wouldn't say not physically attracted to, but appearance has never been the deciding factor for me. Or even a consideration really.
My old signature was too long. Have a daisy.

#17
Quote by AndersM1 at #33902319
So you have always dated people who amazing personalities that you were not physically attracted to?

Not the point. If you don't wanna date the person, whatever, but lol at
Quote by AndersM1
id be happy to be your boyfriend but I need you to make an effort?
Free Ali
#18
Quote by AndersM1 at #33902319
So you have always dated people who amazing personalities that you were not physically attracted to?


No, it's your attitude of "either I should "knock her back" or tell her i'll be with her if she makes herself look pretty for me" that kinda makes you seem like a scumbag who doesn't deserve anyone
#19
you clearly like her, just either get over the bad or don't. over thinking it is making you think like a total loser. life isn't this complicated.
#20
i mean what's basically happening here is that you want her to bullshit you by appearing as something she isn't, so that you can reduce her personality and general autonomy relative to her appearance. This somehow arouses or otherwise appeals to you
Quote by EndTheRapture51
who pays five hundred fucking dollars for a burger
#21
From your post I doubt you can get over it so don't bother. Some people prioritize looks more than others, and while that will likely leave you alone on your death bed, it's not something you can really change. I had the same thing with a fat girl I really liked. I tried to get over it but in the end I couldn't.
#22
you kinda sound like a dick

but she sounds gross


you're perfect for eachother
___

Quote by The_Blode
she was saying things like... do you want to netflix and chill but just the chill part...too bad she'll never know that I only like the Netflix part...
Last edited by WCPhils at Mar 30, 2016,
#23
Quote by korinaflyingv
From your post I doubt you can get over it so don't bother. Some people prioritize looks more than others, and while that will likely leave you alone on your death bed, it's not something you can really change. I had the same thing with a fat girl I really liked. I tried to get over it but in the end I couldn't.


youre probably right
#24
If you're not attracted to her physically it's not gonna work. Doesn't mean you can't stay friends though.
#25
My girlfriend is an amazing person. She doesn't have long hair anymore. Her and I actually have similar length hair. She doesn't wear makeup (and hell, she doesn't need to. She's still absolutely stunning). She isn't one of the "girly girls" (she listens to hard rock/heavy metal as I do, and she doesn't wear all the "girly" clothes like many do). She does keep up with her hygiene and although she's a little on the bigger side, she's still amazing, and it doesn't affect how I love her. Her and I are approaching 3 years. And I couldn't be happier. But to the point. If you want to date her, go ahead. Fuck what everyone says. But if you try to change her appearance, then that puts you in the wrong.
My Gear:
ESP LTD M-17 7-string guitar
Ibanez GSR200 4-String Bass
Alvarez Acoustic (not sure of the model though)
Alesis Q88 Keyboard Controller
Behringer V-Tone GM108 15-Watt amp
Sundown Lowrider 15B 15-Watt bass amp
#27
Maybe she just really wants to give you a birthday present (aahem) and doesn't even want you as a boyfriend.
#29
People who shame others are equally as bad as those who preach personal acceptance. Arguments often assumed to be binary are often found to be anything but.


That being said - What's important to you? To some, the social/emotional/"love" connection is pinnacle of their relationship. To some, they desire to be immediately aesthetically attracted to their partner. To some, intelligence/intellect and mental stimulation is paramount. To some, a mix&match approach is best suited.

Identify what it is that you're trying to get out of a relationship and dating situation - then evaluate her against that set of criteria.


I'd propose you do this by asking her the honest question: "For your ideal 1 year anniversary, what do you want to do?". Write your sincere answer down well before in some notebook at home to keep yourself honest. See if the two ideas line up.


Don't try to justify your way in or out of a relationship. There's nothing worse than forcing a round peg into a square hole. If I could have back all the time I've spent in relationships where I was either ill content, or waiting for a good time to exit... I'd have spent a lot more time meeting new people and may have met better matches.


*My own $0.02 on what you should do aside from think.*
If this isn't one of your first 5 relationships....learn from the prior experiences. There's a reason you're uncertain/uncomfortable with this decision. If it is one of your first 5... do it for the experience, but understand you're walking into a test drive. You're not sold on this, and you're certainly not buying the car yet.
#30
if you're not excited about dating somebody, don't date them. it is the respectful thing to do, for them and for yourself.
Quote by Arthur Curry
it's official, vintage x metal is the saving grace of this board and/or the antichrist




e-married to
theguitarist
minterman22
tateandlyle
& alaskan_ninja

#31
Quote by AndersM1
So you have always dated people who amazing personalities that you were not physically attracted to?


You said that she is attractive though. You sound like kind of a terrible person though so you probably don't deserve her. Then again, she obviously hasn't picked up on you being a terrible person, so maybe she is really dumb. That would make it worse because you would be taking advantage of a dumb girl that you don't deserve.

I'd say buy a few pet rocks instead. Seems more appropriate for you going off of the limited information that I have about you.
There's no such thing; there never was. Where I am going you cannot follow me now.
#32
Quote by WCPhils
you kinda sound like a dick

but she sounds gross


you're perfect for eachother


lmao
Dance in the moonlight my old friend twilight


Quote by metal4eva_22
What's this about ****ing corpses? My UG senses were tingling.
#33
Quote by AndersM1
the girl is attractive........ has short hair because she cant be bothered with long hair, she doesn't wear any skin treatments her skin is bad, she has discoloured teeth and she looks quite unhealthy
need clarification
#35
You are definitely in something shallow, OP. Grow up some.
Glad to cross paths with you on this adventure called life
Quote by Jet Penguin
lots of flirting with the other key without confirming. JUST LIKE THEIR LOVE IN THE MOVIE OH DAMN.
Quote by Hail
you're acting like you have perfect pitch or something
#36
Not only should you not date the girl, you should immediately mount your mouth onto the nearest cock. ASAP. Trust me on this.

...modes and scales are still useless.


Quote by PhoenixGRM
Hey guys could you spare a minute to Vote for my band. Go to the site Search our band Listana with CTRL+F for quick and vote Thank you .
Quote by sam b
Voted for Patron Çıldırdı.

Thanks
Quote by PhoenixGRM
But our Band is Listana
#38
I don't think you should date her, and definitely don't tell her to "make an effort." It would be unfair to try to make somebody change themselves for your own selfishness.
#39
If date this girl, you will regret it. If you do not date this girl, you will regret it.
#40
Quote by neidnarb11890
If date this girl, you will regret it. If you do not date this girl, you will regret it.


Beautifully put.

Ya damned if ya do, ya damned if ya don't init.
Dance in the moonlight my old friend twilight


Quote by metal4eva_22
What's this about ****ing corpses? My UG senses were tingling.
Page 1 of 2