#1
Just finished this, any feedback welcome. Acoustic, slightly old timey/creepy/folky feel.

standing on high street feeling low
The clouds are pressing down
but the autumn air is lovely
and I would quote Keats if I could remember any
coughing up remnants of yesterday's songs
'high and dry' and 'don't let me down'
don't want to live in a memory museum
ragged and dirty and lost and found

under the weather, under the weather
clouds hanging above my face
under the weather, under the weather
drop a penny into my case

see how far you can possibly push it
maybe you'll never come back again
at the end of the day the sun goes down
and Swansea people are made of rain
there are no adjectives that can describe the way that i feel
though believe me, i've tried
and one man's god is another man's idol
and one man's friend is a romantic rival

under the weather, under the weather
maybe i should learn my place
under the weather, under the weather
drop a penny into my case

the mouth of the river opens and closes
in smoky back rooms the temperature rises
there is no taste that's not worth acquiring
there is no beauty that's not worth admiring
I've been wandering around
in debt to myself for too long
on the streets of this seabitten town
keep your nose to the ground and your eyes on the sky
one more black coffee and i'll see you around

under the weather, under the weather
i've still got something left to chase
under the weather, under the weather
drop a penny into my case

ambition is pitiful
when you're gone, when you're gone
when you're gone,
one more riddle
you were gone, you were gone
you were gone
And i'm still here singing these songs
under the weather, under the weather.
#2
Quote by OKSauce


the mouth of the river opens and closes
in smoky back rooms the temperature rises
there is no taste that's not worth acquiring
there is no beauty that's not worth admiring
I've been wandering around
in debt to myself for too long
on the streets of this seabitten town
keep your nose to the ground and your eyes on the sky
one more black coffee and i'll see you around


I like a lot of this one, but the quoted section here is my favorite. Hard to explain why, but it hits some visual tuning fork in my head.
#3
Good stuff. It feels like listening to an older person reflecting on life in general.
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#4
An ode to busking, I like it.

standing on high street feeling low
The clouds are pressing down
but the autumn air is lovely
and I would quote Keats if I could remember any
coughing up remnants of yesterday's songs
'high and dry' and 'don't let me down'
don't want to live in a memory museum
ragged and dirty and lost and found


I like the Keats reference, you're setting a scene well - although it feels a little tied to an inconsistent rhyme scheme. I like the reference to 'yesterday's songs' , I don't know if you need the titles though. Memory museum is an interesting term, I get what you're trying to say.


under the weather, under the weather
clouds hanging above my face
under the weather, under the weather
drop a penny into my case


I like the chorus, it's simple but says what it needs to. I particularly like the metaphorical and literal 'under the weather'.


there are no adjectives that can describe the way that i feel
though believe me, i've tried
and one man's god is another man's idol
and one man's friend is a romantic rival


The first line here is very clunky, maybe even just taking out the word 'can' would help it flow a bit better. Also, it's a bit of a cop-out - there's a better (less direct) way of expressing the difficulty of self-expression. The last couplet of this verse is lovely, wonderful meter and meaning, however it does feel like it's been put in because it's a good line, not necessarily because it contributes to the piece.

the mouth of the river opens and closes
in smoky back rooms the temperature rises
there is no taste that's not worth acquiring
there is no beauty that's not worth admiring
I've been wandering around
in debt to myself for too long
on the streets of this seabitten town
keep your nose to the ground and your eyes on the sky
one more black coffee and i'll see you around


This verse is great, very evocative and I particularly like the last two lines. Only possible change here for me, would be the repetition of 'There is no....' , but it still works.

Finally, I like the outro, it finishes the piece nicely.

Great work.
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