#1
The Storm Is Coming

The storm is coming,
I can feel it in the air.
I could take my scissors
And cut a path right through it.

No dance is needed,
Verily, the rains will come,
And despite the advice of the Boy Scouts,
I'm gonna sit right underneath my tree.

Chorus:
I'll be wet through
And that will be just fine,
Lightning may strike me
And that will be fine too,
'Cos the storm comes,
Washes everything away
And after
We're all clear.

The storm is coming,
Even the mosquitoes are too tired to bite,
Like us
They just lie in the humidity.

Clouds crowd the sky,
Jostling for a front row place
Edging each other to start,
Ready for the upcoming attraction

Ch.

Bridge
Drop, drop, drop
The world is filling up
Drop, drop, drop
The rain is a-thundering down
Drop, drop,drop
Well hooray for all the fishes,
Drop,drop,drop
I think we're all gonna drown

The storm is coming,
Well it is about time!
I won't even take my umbrella,
I'll just stand with my arms wide open

The storm is coming,
I can hardly wait.
It's been hanging round for weeks now
And I'm sweating in anticipation.

Ch.

The storm is coming, I can feel it on my skin
The storm is coming, I can't wait for it to be begin,
The storm is coming, what's taken it so long?
The storm is coming to wash away all my wrongs,
The storm is coming and now it starts
The storm is coming....at last.

I did a rough recording on GB (actually in my garage, believe it or not) with a crappy acoustic and then multitracked it a bit - you can find it here .

Any feedback appreciated, always looking for different views.
|
'....even the President of the United States sometimes must have to stand naked...."

Do me a favour, pop into Songwriting & Lyrics and add a comment to one thread, any thread, but contribute.

----

www.soundcloud.com/christobaldo
#2
The thing about lyrics to a song structured in such a way is that the line break acts as punctuation when it really shouldn't. Especially since a lot of us here are conditioned to start reading something metered in the way of poetry (it's what most of us usually post around here).

It took me a second to readjust. It's always a bit difficult to judge the lyrics without having the music behind it for context.


The chorus is good, I could see it being very breathey and meaningful, but I'd work on that last line. It's a bit too "top 40's country" for me in the way that it fits the theme to an obvious extent. Perhaps let the first chorus trail off without it and then pull it back in the second?
OBEY THE MIGHTY SHITKICKER
#3
I like the idea of delaying the last line of the chorus (you can hear the song as it is on www.soundclick.com/christobaldo - it's intentionally shoddy in production, I was in the garage with an acoustic and that was it).

I noticed a lot of poetry here - which isn't something I'm massively familiar with (outside of the well-known), but that's what I like is being exposed to new things/styles and getting input from people.

I agree that the music can make a huge difference but I always want the lyrics to speak for themselves and convey a message (which can be interpreted individually).

I appreciate you taking the time to look at this,
Chris
|
'....even the President of the United States sometimes must have to stand naked...."

Do me a favour, pop into Songwriting & Lyrics and add a comment to one thread, any thread, but contribute.

----

www.soundcloud.com/christobaldo