#1
I'm rewriting some things from a couple of years ago. I hope they come off better.



The songs he wrote for me were my favorite.
You wouldn't like them,
but if you did,
neither would I.

I.

He sang like a violin,
and we loved him for that.
To rosin his strings
I gave him extra dry gin,
and he loved me for that.

II.

A solo act, he was.
However, the doubters,
fully orchestral.

Sawing horshair,
wisps of juniper breath,
alive, a heart a-flitter.
A shame they never listened,
he was a virtuoso!
Although, to me, a fiddler.
OBEY THE MIGHTY SHITKICKER
Last edited by JustRooster at May 4, 2016,
#2
The final verse is magnificent - it actually works as a standalone piece - it shows everything you've told us in the first verse.

I didn't see the originals but well done for going back and improving, I really liked it.
|
'....even the President of the United States sometimes must have to stand naked...."

Do me a favour, pop into Songwriting & Lyrics and add a comment to one thread, any thread, but contribute.

----

www.soundcloud.com/christobaldo
#3
I agree about the final verse--I read through it and thought the same before I saw Herr Rararr's comment. Very evocative without being verbose--elegant.
#4
Aw, thanks friends! I was a fan of this one particularly. I'm still reworking others, but not to the level of satisfaction I had with this one.
OBEY THE MIGHTY SHITKICKER
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