#1
Division Crusade


Had it with your mouth
Had it with everything else
You've stripped away
Everything I once had
There's nothing left to give
And everything to take away
A masterful vendetta
This crusade to make you pay

I've found the perfect weapon
To turn screws of vengeance
Tear at heartstrings
Use the system to dismantle you
Never give up
Until you steep in misery
Like me


The crack grew to a fracture
The gap became a rift
We fell apart it seems
Not further into love
Nothing left inside, I'm drained
Animosity is not contained
A relentless agenda
Your crusade I will hate

You've found the perfect weapon
To turn screws of vengeance
Tear at heartstrings
Use the system to dismantle me
Never give up
Until you steep in misery
Like me


I will always see
These little hands in front of me
Weaponize their little souls
Hit me where it hurts the most
Down the road, they're all in pieces
This division caused the perpetual bleeding
Words are iron fists
In this unending crusade

You've found the perfect weapon
To turn screws of vengeance
Tear at heartstrings
Use the system to dismantle me
Never give up
Until you steep in misery
Like me

Inheriting this fracture
That's all they get from you and me
Guitar/Bass:
Schecter: Damien 6/Stilletto Extreme 5, Squier: Bullet HSS*, Washburn RX10*/WG-587, Agile Septor 727
*mods

Amps/FX
Peavey: Vypyr 30/Max 112 (200W), ISP: Decimator

Quote by dannyalcatraz
Understood- I waste money on amps*, too.

justinguitar.com is the answer
#2
Are these lyrics or a poem? I'm thinking lyrics and, if so, do you have a particular genre in mind?
#3
As a father I find this a very powerful piece - it's what I fear the most.

I'm not a huge fan of the rhyming scheme - I think it restricts your writing a little too much, but as always the point is made very clearly.

I really like the last two lines, I think they're very potent, combining regret and anger nicely. I also like falling apart, not in love - it's clear.

Like AH said, what style? When I read your stuff I think of it in a metal/punky vibe, is this right?
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#4
I was heavily influenced by some of my co-workers divorces, including one going through it. The way one tried to exact revenge on the other and the resentment was very clear.

When I write, the subject matter seems best suited for a more aggressive style.
Guitar/Bass:
Schecter: Damien 6/Stilletto Extreme 5, Squier: Bullet HSS*, Washburn RX10*/WG-587, Agile Septor 727
*mods

Amps/FX
Peavey: Vypyr 30/Max 112 (200W), ISP: Decimator

Quote by dannyalcatraz
Understood- I waste money on amps*, too.

justinguitar.com is the answer
Last edited by bjgrifter at Apr 25, 2016,
#5
These lyrics do speak to resentment in particular.

I'm not real in love with the chorus, especially in transition from the first verse. There's something overly stilted in the chorus whereas the first verse reads fairly smoothly. I'm thinking that in the aggressive style you're going for, a lot of the rhythmic cues would be suggested by instrumentation rather than lyrics.