#1
Imagine some trap lord was cutting a new album and he wanted Bjork to do the hook for one of his tracks. So he calls her in and everything's gucci, but l8er that night Bjork breaks into the studio and puts some of her own music in the final mix. A home less man sees that the door to the studio is open, so he enters hoping to seek refuge for the night. He hides in the shadows until Bjork leaves. After a quick shower, the hobo notices the master mix tapes then he makes some stuff and also puts it in the album. imspazzen just so happened to be in town on his yearly prostitute exam. After disposing of the corpse, he busts down the doors to the recording studio becuz the owner owes him money so imspazzen steals the master tapes.

"We got a 187!!"

imspazzen flips shit after realizing that the disposed of hooker was actually left out in the open. imspazzen takes cover under the studio drumkit that hadn't been used since 2003. The hobo takes out his gun and starts popping shots at the police. I use
this opportunity to take advantage of the studio's Google Fiber and torrent terabytes of interracial gangbangs. Just then, the hobo turns to me:

"imspazzen?! You're that ninja..."

Cover blown, imspazzen quickly uses his standalone bat signal and calls John Madden to rescue him in his autographed batmobile.
"Sorry HBO, but this place gotta GO," imspazzen intelligently quiffs as he tosses a grenade into the studio.
John Madden & imspazzen collide palms as they get away unscathed. imspazzen notices that John's palms are unusually sweaty. Surely a sign that he's glad to see him. If he only knew that Madmen Season 2's palms were always sweaty...

After a few hours of space exploration, Jawn queries about what I was doing at the studio. I showed him the master tapes that I had stolen.
"We need to hold these ransom," claims Mansom.
"TRUUUU" 2 Chainz declared from the back seat.
"Hehe... you guys are pretty smart, but ya know what? I got a better plan..."

_________________________________________________

"AIGHT STICK EM UP BITCH DON'T MOVE!"

The bank had been taken over in a matter of minutes. The bank's silent alarm triggered, but, upon arrival, the cops had heard the dreaded cry that foretold what they were up against. Highly compressed and distorted wails of "IF YA SMEEEEELLLLLLLL...WHAT THE ROCK...IS COOKIN'!" blared throughout the city of Hotwetslutcougars at an almost deafening level.

They were the People's Champs (TPC for short); the world's deadliest gang LIKE EVR!1!! They wore Dwayne Johnson masks and had soundboards attached to their person that would randomly clip and play highly compressed quotes from The Rock. I can't even explain it because it's such advanced technology. They immediately killed all occupants of the bank upon arrival so their hostage count was at an all time low. A rare critical mistake for TPC.
It was a standoff.
Being the goddamn genius that imhanson is, well I say we just leave!!! TPC walked out the front door; the police mesmerized by Dwayne Johnson's soulless gaze.


L8r that night, imspazzen was settling down with a good bowl of before when the phone rang when the phone
rang.
"Hello"
"Yo this Fergie mang, I heard you got my tapes"
"Oh shit how did you know"
"Security camera."
"Ok, good exposition we got going here"
"i'm outside ur door."
"Excellent"
impantson opened the door and greeted Ferg. They had been childhood friends for years.
Ferg noticed imspazzen's shoes. He was wearing his brand new LVL XIII® Triple White aero_core©'s.
"Nigga that shit expensive af, u brazy!"
"Means a lot comin from you Gia, but it's nothing that can't be buffered out in a week."
"Bison hours my nigga! How you get that work though?"
"First of all, I owe everything to the education I recieved at UWSOM©."
imspazzen apologized and told him the master tapes were in his bedroom. Ferg went to retrieve them.
After what seemed like an abnormal amount of time, I went to go check on him. What I saw I will never forget, and I hope no one else will ever live to see what I saw.
Fergie was holding my Dwayne Johnson mask.

"Ferg..I...I can explain!"
"YOU WERE THE ROCK...THIS HOLE TIME"
"SPELLING ERRORS ASIDE, YES! I'M SORRY MANG! I'M STILL THE ROCK U LOVED THOUGH!!"
"U ONE THE ROYAL RUMBLE BACK IN 2000?! UR SKINNG BITCH ASS?!"
"WHY ARE THERE SO MANY SPELLING ERRORS?!"
"TRAIN OF THOUGHT! I'M SPEAKING FROM THE HEART! SO DON'T EVEN START! I THINK I'M GONNA FART!"
"DAMN SON, RAP GAME ON POINT!!!"
"THAT'S DOESN'T'S MATTERS, I CAN'T KEEP LIVING THIS LIE!"
A$AP Ferg leaped from my ground floor window. His body was never found.

imspazzen took the master tapes and converted them into mp3s by sacrificing the Dwayne Johnson mask with my hoodman powers and then uploaded them to the WorldWideWeb (WWW).

"This needs to be heard...,"imspazzen said as he clicked the "submit new thread" button with sweaty finger. "wait, why are my hands sweating?"

In that moment, in the reflection of the computer screen...




1. Google "raw ass hood music"
2. Look for the link "Blackwoman banging out to trap music real raw no condom"
3. Laugh
4. Click here
5. Upvote this comment: "Lazy ass song writing smh etc." downvote all positive comments
6. Send me yo receipt
7. add the discover the riddle to unlock this video (it's the next step) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uaEiypXPPF
i see your girl
G A Y
she leavin wit me

F O R
I'm playing wit her booty
in the back seat
M A D D E N
#2
Bud, I don't think I've read a single thing you've wrote so far.
Quote by SGstriker
If KFC is finger-licking good, then people would probably suck dicks for Popeyes. That's how good it is.


There's nothing left here to be saved
Just barreling dogs and barking trains
Another year lost to the blue line