#1
Last night dream was amazing but very inappropriate and sexual
I was dreaming about I live in an high-class mansion and something was broken and someone came in my apartment which appears to be my country QUEEN and she accept to repair something and she finished repairing something that I can't remember and she went out of my apartment. Then that day evening (night actually) She broke in and came in my bed room and apparently my country queen was little (around 18) and she lay down on my bed then she start giving me a blowjob then I remember in the dream it felt really good and the day after that I went on a holiday at the beach and guess what? The queen follows me and keep giving me a blowjob 2-3 times. I know its very sexual and inappropriate lol what's your?
#2
Don't remember any that stand out off the top of my head, but people tell me they see me in their dreams pretty often.

Here's my favorite.
Quote by snipelfritz
You lost me at "Lubricate."

I'm raw, like nature. Nature boy. Big jungle leaves are my cum rags.

Sometimes I fuck a bamboo shoot.


There's nothing left here to be saved
Just barreling dogs and barking trains
Another year lost to the blue line
#3
I had a dream where godzilla jerked off on my face. Not even the weirdest dream I've had.
If there is a God, it's me.
#4
Quote by qrEE
I had a dream where godzilla jerked off on my face. Not even the weirdest dream I've had.


How big was it lol
#5
Godzilla is a female tho.
Maybe it was Godzuki.
Quote by snipelfritz
You lost me at "Lubricate."

I'm raw, like nature. Nature boy. Big jungle leaves are my cum rags.

Sometimes I fuck a bamboo shoot.


There's nothing left here to be saved
Just barreling dogs and barking trains
Another year lost to the blue line
#6
I had a pretty weird dream a few years ago that has always kind of stuck with me. It was more of a nightmare really. They were nearly, but not quite, lucid dreams which is why I think they've stuck with me.

Basically, in my dream, I woke up in my bed, and got up like usual. I went to the ******* and had a bullshit conversation with my family about some shit before sitting down to eat breakfast. Then I noticed someone in a red hat walk up to the back door and come inside. Before I really know what's going on the guy pulls out a gun and kills my family and me.

I wake up, I get up like usual. I have a different conversation with my parents before again having breakfast. I see a woman coming up to the back door. I tell my parents not to let her in. They say I'm being silly. I beg them. They let her in. This time it's a different weapon, an axe. She kills my parents, I run to the phone but the line is disconnected. I fumble at the door, and she kills me.

I wake up. This time I tell my parents straight up that I think we're in danger. By this stage, it's clicked that the last times were dreams, but I'm still unsure if this time is a dream. Nevertheless, I lock the doors and don't have breakfast. A different woman comes up the drive, I try to escape out the front (my family just kind of disappears at this point), but the door is locked and I can't unlock it for some reason. At this stage I'm pretty certain I'm dreaming, but have absolutely no control over the dream. Don't exactly remember how it happens, but the result is the same as before. I am murdered.

Again, I wake up. This time sure it's a dream. I go straight to the toilet, as from there I have a good vantage of the backyard, but they can't see me. A man pushing a lawn mower walks up the drive. He looks straight at me and smiles. He gets out an axe, smashes through a couple of doors and finally has me trapped in the laundry. I fall to the ground, I'm looking at him grinning, axe above his shoulders. And I'm like 'Nope, fuck this shit, I don't want to die again'

I wake up. This time I know I'm awake. Unfortunately, I'm gripped in sleep paralysis and scared as all fuck. Sleep paralysis is quite terrifying, especially when you're not sure what's going on. It was a couple of minutes before I could move, and the whole time I just wanted to scream for help but couldn't.

Then I worked out it was sleep paralysis and calmed down.

It was pretty traumatic.


About a month later I had another really vivid dream where I was aware I was dreaming but had no control. In that one my throat was slit and I woke up gripped in sleep paralysis and still remembering the feeling of the blood coming out my throat and in my mouth...

I don't know what the fuck was going on in that period of my life, but I haven't really had any dreams like that since.
RIP Gooze

cats
#8
I was travelling around south east asia and I was in a hostel. I go downstairs one morning and it's my parents' house and I'd just gotten a copy of Kingdom Hearts III through the door. I'm like fuck yeah and my mate Pat comes over to play it. I go back up into the dorms to get a controller and my cousin is there, but he's had his legs amputated and he's crying. I try looking for a spare bed for him but they're all taken, the one on the end was a prostitute because she had it advertised on a poster. I'm like soz bro can't help, and he turns into a cat and exploded
My old signature was too long. Have a daisy.

Last edited by RAB11 at May 10, 2016,
#9
I can't remember the weirdest dream I've ever had but I had a weird one last night. I was wearing my old high school uniform and walking to the shops to get Uncharted 4. When I arrived at the shops I bumped into my old girlfriend from high school. We got talking and then we walked into another room and we ended up fucking. After we'd done that I went home without buying my game and when I got onto my street a group of 3 guys approached me. Turns out they were vampires and they handcuffed themselves to me and 2 other people who just kind of materialised behind me. They made me open my door and then I pulled a pin out of nowhere and stabbed the vampire who was handcuffed to me and this somehow caused the handcuffs to unlock. I then ran away and jumped the fence into my neighbours backyard and this is around the point that I woke up.

The strangest thing about this dream though is that I'm no longer attracted to my ex at all.
#10
Quote by joseph24
How big was it lol


well Godzilla himself wasn't that big, he was probably only around 8 feet tall, but his zilla-bit was probably around 3 feet big. He was very casual about it too, he didn't seem particularly horny.

oh and his spunk was green too.
If there is a God, it's me.
#11
I've had lots of weird dreams. Remember "Jeep" from Popeye? When I was a kid I used to dream that Jeep was following me around. I'd never see him move...but I'd look behind me and there he was. Those were creepy dreams. A lot of the time I had sleep paralysis..but since Jeep never moved (that I could see) it shouldn't have increased the dread...but it did anyway.

Weirdest I ever had, probably, was a dream in which I was Batman and had magical powers. A group of Vikings was chasing me so I turned around and used a spell which turned the dirt under their feet into quicksand. I've had many dreams where I was Batman . Strangely....in none of those dreams was I fighting crime.
#13
Quote by FunkyPunk666
My dreams are way too weird to share...


they probably aren't. All of my dreams involve the most fucked up shit, like one where a guy got his dick spread open at the hole and had maggots inserted into it. And again, that's not the weirdest dream I've had.
If there is a God, it's me.
#15
i had a few dreams where i was accidentally enrolled in a school for monsters. there was about 4 dreams that continued from each other. i only remember the last one. i was about to get transferred out of the monster school. and there was a bit where i was in bed trying to sleep and this worm thing was sucking on my arm. then there was a last bit where a big monster like sully from monsters inc. was saying bye to me as i left. he only had a little chair and a sink for his room covered by a drape on a track. he was nice.

and i haven't seen him since.
#16
Quote by mulefish
I had a pretty weird dream a few years ago that has always kind of stuck with me. It was more of a nightmare really. They were nearly, but not quite, lucid dreams which is why I think they've stuck with me.

Basically, in my dream, I woke up in my bed, and got up like usual. I went to the ******* and had a bullshit conversation with my family about some shit before sitting down to eat breakfast. Then I noticed someone in a red hat walk up to the back door and come inside. Before I really know what's going on the guy pulls out a gun and kills my family and me.

I wake up, I get up like usual. I have a different conversation with my parents before again having breakfast. I see a woman coming up to the back door. I tell my parents not to let her in. They say I'm being silly. I beg them. They let her in. This time it's a different weapon, an axe. She kills my parents, I run to the phone but the line is disconnected. I fumble at the door, and she kills me.

I wake up. This time I tell my parents straight up that I think we're in danger. By this stage, it's clicked that the last times were dreams, but I'm still unsure if this time is a dream. Nevertheless, I lock the doors and don't have breakfast. A different woman comes up the drive, I try to escape out the front (my family just kind of disappears at this point), but the door is locked and I can't unlock it for some reason. At this stage I'm pretty certain I'm dreaming, but have absolutely no control over the dream. Don't exactly remember how it happens, but the result is the same as before. I am murdered.

Again, I wake up. This time sure it's a dream. I go straight to the toilet, as from there I have a good vantage of the backyard, but they can't see me. A man pushing a lawn mower walks up the drive. He looks straight at me and smiles. He gets out an axe, smashes through a couple of doors and finally has me trapped in the laundry. I fall to the ground, I'm looking at him grinning, axe above his shoulders. And I'm like 'Nope, fuck this shit, I don't want to die again'

I wake up. This time I know I'm awake. Unfortunately, I'm gripped in sleep paralysis and scared as all fuck. Sleep paralysis is quite terrifying, especially when you're not sure what's going on. It was a couple of minutes before I could move, and the whole time I just wanted to scream for help but couldn't.

Then I worked out it was sleep paralysis and calmed down.

It was pretty traumatic.


About a month later I had another really vivid dream where I was aware I was dreaming but had no control. In that one my throat was slit and I woke up gripped in sleep paralysis and still remembering the feeling of the blood coming out my throat and in my mouth...

I don't know what the fuck was going on in that period of my life, but I haven't really had any dreams like that since.


Dreamception lolll
#17
One of my favourite weird dreams from two years ago is that I met AC/DC on a plane. They were sitting at a round white table on the plane and were singing Shoot to Thrill and I wanted their attention so I started singing along. They laughed and let me be onstage for their next concert which was on a skyscraper-high rickety wooden stage. that felt like it would fall over at any time. In Afghanistan.

There's also one I had of playing a Tomb Raider game and Lara started doing random backflips and growing tattoos (no other way to describe it) and all of a sudden I remembered - within the dream - that I had had this exact same dream a year before.
#18
^ that reminds me, I had a dream I met Andrew WK, Shane Told of Silverstein and Tim McIlrath of Rise Against.

In the dream with Tim, I wasn't really meeting him, I was helping him move his flatscreen TV down a backstage hall.
Quote by snipelfritz
You lost me at "Lubricate."

I'm raw, like nature. Nature boy. Big jungle leaves are my cum rags.

Sometimes I fuck a bamboo shoot.


There's nothing left here to be saved
Just barreling dogs and barking trains
Another year lost to the blue line
#19
I dreamt I was occupying the precise location that I was asleep in, however I had taken on the form of a sandwich.

Ham on white
A poem.
Quote by yoman297
no girl, movember isnt for you. shave your stache pls

I can out-bore you any day
#20
Quote by jrcsgtpeppers
There shall be a stop to this madness. The battle is not over. My tasty licks aren't going anywhere.

Quote by The_Blode
^ I've just realised if you say Simple Plan's 2011 effort "Get Your Heart On!" really fast in a Southern American accent, it sounds gross. . .like sexual gross!

Quote by Necroheadbanger
Hello.
I'm looking for professional bongo-ists and triangle-ists to make a Progressive Technical Brutal Death Metal band
(will be called AxOxJxLxAxIxVxXxUxWxZxQxUxRxWxGxJxSxAxLxKxMxNxHxUxGxAxAxWxVxCxBxZxVx)
(Don't even ask what it means)


https://soundcloud.com/95dank



#22
Ah yes i was on safari in the amazon. While everyone was away doing scientific explorations i was left at camp as a young boy. A little deer came up and played with me like a playful dog. The out of nowhere it's whole deer face became a toothed t-rex jaw and tried to eat my face off. Deers have tiny mouths but this things whole face opened up like a barracuda. Scary.
#23
For some reason the only nightmares I get are ones were I get tickled. It sounds funny but it so weird and uncomfortable. Another thing is that I can "sense" nightmares coming. For example in one dream I was standing in front of a hotel and I could see Mr. Game and Watch in one of the windows. He was standing over a bed with a knife and suddenly plunged his knife into the bed. then he turned and stared at me from the window. The feeling of dread came and I knew it was about to become a nightmare. For some reason I knew I had to go inside the hotel and go to the room with Mr. Game and Watch. I started walking towards the hotel. At this point I forced myself awake. Fuckin scary shit my dreams.
#24
Quote by qrEE
oh and his spunk was green too.


Being that his spunk would be atomic did it burn or cause any lasting mutations or side effects.

Inquiring minds want to know!
"A well-wound coil is a well-wound coil regardless if it's wound with professional equipment, or if somebody's great-grandmother winds it to an old French recipe with Napoleon's modified coffee grinder and chops off the wire after a mile with an antique guillotine!"
- Bill Lawrence

Come and be with me
Live my twisted dream
Pro devoted pledge
Time for primal concrete sledge

#25
Most of my dreams are pretty fucked up and disturbing. I used to be worried about it but now I just go with it and kind of enjoy them. I couldn't even name the weirdest one because they're all weird in different ways, but one I had recently was that I was having sex with someone, and then they kept turning into different people from my life, including some friends and family
#26
I remember one where I was with Batman and Robin and we decided to conquer the world, but then they ran towards an alley and both jumped through a pharmacy's window and started having sex above the broken glass.

I do remember dreams where I realized I was in a dream inside of it, and then just kind of let loose my imagination knowing full well that I'm dreaming but "faking" it. As in, my self inside the dream believes it is real and acts that way, but my meta-self realizes he can shape the dream as he wants little by little. Mostly it happens when I "play out" a scene or something and my meta-self is not really content with it and I replay it with slightly different changes. Eventually I like the changes and keep playing the dream as always, getting into the "deep" part of the dream and losing control eventually, until I snap again and do the same. That semi-conscious sensation is definitely weird
#28
What about the dreams I always have?

One dream I am up in the forest on a hill of trees and monsters and demons are fighting me protecting their lair. I make my way down, kicking as much butt as possible, and I come across a giant damn, artificial structure. You got hill of trees, and out of nowhere, giant damn and endless water. The demon spirits guarding this damn are tough, but when you realize youre dreaming, all you gotta do is think and they disappear. Easy shit. Now at this fortress, is nothing, its just a damn. What does it mean? Is it the edge of the universe? I think so. I go through the doors, yeah there are doors on this damn, open them uo and now im in an underwater casino. I go out back and now I am in a skatepark, its a giant full pipe, two half pipes, and in underwater, and sharks and fish are swimming about it. I have to jump down like dropping in on a skateboard, and swoop the fish before i make it up the otherwise. This is difficult because this turns into the shoreline of the ocean and now I am being attacked by sharks at the shoreline. I have to avoid them while the water recedes and make it all the way out before it comes back up. Not easy. THen monsters invade the town and destroy everything. I have to leave, I go find a bubblegum machine and hide in side it. In dreams, nothing gets through bubble gum machines. THe glass orb is sacred and protects against UV light. After I hide and wait for the dinosaurs to attack, I leave and go find the university. I have to slingshot my way around like spiderman using telephone wires, idk why but I just do. I have to get to the top of the building, slide in through the window, and talk to the scientists. Oh shit, you arent the scientists, you are my old music teachers from jazz band, I didnt practice the sheet music, shit I cant sight read the melodies, now I have to perform in the band real quick, hold one. I have no idea whats going on. I cant play guitar for shit, I leave. I walk outside the room and I see jimi hendrix riding in the back of a wagon with some hay and some girls. I say hi, he says hi, and I walk into the next building. It is smackdown time, I see the stage set up, girls everywhere, screaming fans, but where is the scientist? I go into the stage, not a good idea. Booker t, big show and tripple h are there and they arent happy with me. I have to go find john cena to beat them, hes in green, but everyone is in green with that stupid hat and john cena t shirt. I walk around, nowhere to be found. I walk outside the venue to get some popcorn. Maybe a hot dog, idk havent decided yet. Outside the colliseum looks like downtown SF. I walk around and what do you know? I found the disneyland toy store. Iwalk around and look at all the different shirts and stuff/ Neat but I'm broke. I leave and go to a bar/music venue. No music. No beer, just burritos and smoothies. I want one. I get it. Delicious. But what does it mean? I must leave, I take bart outside. Now im in a car, I wish bart always lent me cars. I am driving and aliens attack. I'm sorry, but I can outrun them, important business means I dont have time to save the town. I go off this giant ramp and it shoots me through the air like a hot wheels car. I land in this water tube, a tube that goes underwater, I slide all the way though and now Im at the other side with teh drawves from LOTR. They are waiting for me. Hello gandalf. what can i do to help? We turn around and we are on the other side of the damn. We made it.
#29
I actually had a dream just the other day, where I was sexing some girl I barely knew in high school, and other people were critiquing me in things not sex related such as: my baking expertise, my previous works in drafting, and my shoe size. after the sex act of the dream I ended up eating a tub of melted ice cream with diet Dr pepper.
Xbox Live: DeSquared94
PSN: desquared94
#31
About 10 years ago I consumed a bottle of Bailey's before finding my way into bed.

First dream - I gained consciousness while running around the outside of my parent's house. I was holding a beer. After about 2 laps, I looked backwards and my dad was chasing me with a rake. Dream ended abruptly

Second dream - I was at my P's house, and my old man told me I needed to vacuum out my car. I thought nothing of it. I went about my business. About an hour later, I walked into my room to find a pile of cigarette ash and whatever was in my back seat piled on my bedsheets. I woke up.

I've never since consumed Bailey's.
Real knowledge is to know the extent of one's ignorance - Confucius
#33
Quote by qrEE
I had a dream where godzilla jerked off on my face. Not even the weirdest dream I've had.
Well then why did you post it here. . . this is not the "not weirdest dream you ever had" thread . . . figure it out bro ;| the more things change . . .

Enemies slain = 1