#1
I fidget and tap when your body is near.
My anxiety brews when you pick me up.

I'm playing with my hair.
I'm pulling up my skirt.
Got your attention,
I know that this works.

notice how the other guys flirt?
I've defiantly drawn a crowd.

Go ahead and catch me,
let's see if you can.
Lust for me baby,
just give me your hand.
#2
Hmm.

First line - I like. It's a great example of showing and not telling - you could have easily written 'You make me nervous/excited" and instead we know this from what you've shown us, which I think is much better.

The second line doesn't quite flow as well - I think it might be the hard 'b' of brews, I' m not quite sure, but it doesn't fit in the same way.

The second stanza I like - the girlish charm, the knowingness of the author - again, you're showing what you're doing and knowingly too.

Third stanza - did you mean defiantly or definitely? It works in moving the peice along.

The last verse is my least favorite of the piece - I'm trying to work out why. First of all I think the 'Catch Me If You Can' connotations, it's a jumbling up of a familiar phrase and that makes it feel quite alien. I've said it in a previous piece, but 'baby' is a no-no word for me - it's far too clichéd (ruined by a thousand other songs) and it cheapens the effect of what you've done before. The final line - initially I read that as a sexual advance, then I re-read it as an innocent companionship request, then back and forth - the ambiguity of it is good - I feel it could be framed better by the previous lines.

Again, it's good writing - just a little refinement.
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