#1
But you were like a poem.
Unexpected
Unexplainable
Ambiguous.

Never spoke the truth, yet, so beautiful and meaningful.

I think you were more like a song.
Rythmical
Catchy
Loud.

It is hard to get you out of my head.

Or were you an ancient play?
New
Improvised
Painful.

A huge, never-ending drama...

American movie.

Scripted
Schematic
Clichéd.

But I can watch you three times a day.
Last edited by Mrrula at May 26, 2016,
#2
Nice idea, there' s a playful vibe to the writing - in that you're exploring an idea and seeing where you can take it. I like the contrast of a full line against three one-word lines. The only word that jars is 'cheesy' (maybe 'clichéd'?) - it doesn't seem to fit with the style of language you're using throughout the rest of the piece.

Anyway, I enjoyed reading this.
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'....even the President of the United States sometimes must have to stand naked...."

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#3
Quote by Herr Rararr
Nice idea, there' s a playful vibe to the writing - in that you're exploring an idea and seeing where you can take it. I like the contrast of a full line against three one-word lines. The only word that jars is 'cheesy' (maybe 'clichéd'?) - it doesn't seem to fit with the style of language you're using throughout the rest of the piece.

Anyway, I enjoyed reading this.


I totally forgot there was a word like this! You're right it works better. Thank you for help and opinion.
#4
The use of little words defiantly adds to the effect.
I swear the same thing is always on my mind.
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