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#1
I don’t fantasize much about women or being with them in that way. But even when I do, I don’t really fantasize about having sex with them. I think most guys tend to be more aggressive in their fantasies. I think, in terms of fantasizing, a lot of guys tend to think more about assertion, selfishness, and just really “going at”.

For example…I was sitting in one of those open spaces they have at colleges by the stairwells where it’s just a couple chairs and an end table, the lobby, or foyer, or whatever you call it. Anyway, I was sitting there in between classes one time and there was a group of guys sitting around hanging out at the other end of the lobby. Then this girl goes and gets something from the soda machines and goes back to class or wherever she was headed. I’d seen her around a couple times, but never spoken to her. She was kind of shy, cute though. After she left, the group of guys were talking about her. One of them said that the girl wasn’t much of a talker. And then one of them said something to the effect of “Get me alone with her. I’ll make her talk”. And of course he and his macho buddies all started laughing it up.

Me personally, I don’t really think in that way. I mean, why would you even want to do those sorts of things to a woman – or to your wife or girlfriend. I tend to fantasize more about the sweet, gentle, soft, cuddly type of sex. When I fantasize, I think about things more like hugging them to me, holding them in my arms, caressing their cheeks, kissing or nuzzling their neck, caressing their shoulders, their back. I think more in terms of the soft, kissy, make-out type of stuff, or at most foreplay. I think more about like what you’d see in romantic movies or romance novels.

I don’t know if it’s just because I’m still a virgin, and therefore have no frame of reference to fantasize about, or no experience to draw from, or if it’s because it’s the way I’d want a woman to treat me…but I think the way I mentioned above just makes more sense. To me it seems like it would be more sensitive to her needs, be more real, more nurturing, more emotionally connected, etc than simply just “getting one’s fix”. Now granted couples may just want to “go crazy” from time to time, which is fine. But if it’s like that every single time, isn’t that just kind of using each other?

Because if you’re in a relationship and you’re just using each other for sex - that’s not love, that aint right. Women should be respected, loved, cared for, cherished, and nurtured. I think women deserve for their man to put aside his ego, that their man should sacrifice his own needs and desires, and instead be focusing on satisfying those of his wife or girlfriend. Because I think through that - they become a closer, deeper couple.

I don’t know what it is, or why I feel so strongly about it. I guess it’s just because when people talk about sexuality, it always seems like the man is supposed to be the dominant one. To me it just seems backwards. I don’t know if it’s because I’m more compassionate, or more sensitive? I just think the man should be willing and able to put aside his own needs and desires for the simple sake of those of his wife or girlfriend. Isn’t that what love is supposed to be about - sacrificing one’s own pleasure for the sake of their spouse?
#2
Is it possible you're asexual and don't even want sex at all? That's immediately what I thought when I started your post.

But if you do want sex but want more less dominant stuff that's cool, I wouldn't worry about it. Hey, you might even be a sub.

Either way, those dudes sound like misogynist dickheads so props on not joining in on their bullshit.
Last edited by GuitarGod_92 at May 29, 2016,
#3
If this is how you are then don't change, you will one day meet someone who deserves you. Not weird or creepy at all.

(then again idk, maybe you are creepy in other ways in which case my above statement is conditional)
#5
god damn that was a long post but i read all of it
from my perspective, you're pretty damn normal to me (i mean, you're more normal than Blode, Yope, other strange posters in the pit, etc)

i feel very similar, actually.
though i do often catch myself late at night fantasizing hot sex with gorgeous women I have met in my life, celebrities, etc I don't see myself as the "macho, aggressive, dominant douche bag" that pulls chicks hair and fucks them in the ass just to feel cooler about myself...

I think a relationship should be gentle and understanding, it should flow calmly
i'm the kinda guy that would make sure the pleasure is equally satisfying in and out of bed. I don't really see myself as the long-term relationship kinda guy either, but I sure like the idea of being a gentleman
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#6
Quote by neptune1988
why would you even want to do those sorts of things to a woman – or to your wife or girlfriend.
Seriously?

Because part of being attracted to someone includes wanting to make a physical connection with them. It's a natural response. True, men who are all about it are a dime a dozen, and it's normal to not be comfortable around people who are super vocal about it. But that doesn't mean wanting it is a shameful act.

It's respectable that you feel that way though. There's a good number of people who feel the same as you, so I'd say it's normal, but the number by comparison isn't a whole lot. Just as long as you're true to yourself is all that matters.

Edit: But if we're talking about downright rough-housing then yes, it's normal to not want that.

When I fantasize, I think about things more like hugging them to me, holding them in my arms, caressing their cheeks, kissing or nuzzling their neck, caressing their shoulders, their back. I think more in terms of the soft, kissy, make-out type of stuff, or at most foreplay. I think more about like what you’d see in romantic movies or romance novels.
I don't know what kind of movies you're watching, bud.
Maybe some kind of bad rom-com?
Last edited by Joshua Garcia at May 29, 2016,
#7
I guess the reason in terms of sexuality, that I tend to fantasize about serving her needs more than my own...I mean, worst case scenario I can still take care of it myself. And I guess she could too really, but a woman shouldn't have to resort to that though is my point.

Or something...I don't know




EDIT:
The movie I watched was "Little Black Book" starring the sweet and adorable Brittany Murphy. At the end I wanted to hold her in my arms and tell her it was gonna be okay. Hehe, yeah Im kinda hopeless like that.

RIP Mrs. Murphy
Heart-break of a story if ever there was one (both the movie and the actress).
Last edited by neptune1988 at May 29, 2016,
#8
Oh hey wait a minute, I remember you. You're that super devote Christian who thinks if their son came out gay you'd kick him out of the house and send him to a correction camp.

I don't think you're very respectable, now that I think about it.

You're also the guy who said this:



https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1657841
Last edited by Joshua Garcia at May 29, 2016,
#10
Quote by Joshua Garcia
Oh hey wait a minute, I remember you. You're that super devote Christian who thinks if their son came out gay you'd kick him out of the house and send him to a correction camp.

I don't think you're very respectable, now that I think about it.

You're also the guy who said this:



https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1657841



And you cant afford real chicken, so it all makes sense don't it?
#11
lol what a stupid ass thread, and a lame humblebrag "is it weird or creepy that i'm so considerate and upstanding?"

You just sound like a doormat. A catholic doormat.

...modes and scales are still useless.


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#12
Quote by GuitarGod_92
Ohhh yeah nvm fuck this dude lol


yeah, green hair's not really my scene. sorry. appreciate the offer though.
#13
Quote by Xiaoxi
lol what a stupid ass thread, and a lame humblebrag "is it weird or creepy that i'm so considerate and upstanding?"

You just sound like a doormat. A catholic doormat.


doormat?
#14
Quote by neptune1988
And you cant afford real chicken, so it all makes sense don't it?
You don't know Blode, so I'm not surprised you'd take it out of context.
#15
Quote by neptune1988
When I fantasize, I think about things more like hugging them to me, holding them in my arms, caressing their cheeks, kissing or nuzzling their neck, caressing their shoulders, their back.




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#16
Quote by Joshua Garcia
You don't know Blode, so I'm not surprised you'd take it out of context.

Unless he is Blode.

I mean, have you ever seen them both in a room at the same time?
#18
Quote by M00NAGEDAYDREAM


~don't finkdinkle when ur supposed to be dimpdickin~
#20
Quote by GuitarGod_92
Is it possible you're asexual and don't even want sex at all? That's immediately what I thought when I started your post.


OP talks about his version of sex, UG poster thinks that his version of sex is more correct, questions OP if he's asexual

For real though, I appreciate and understand your thoughts. To be honest I was the same as a teenager, you'd have those guys go round talking shit about 'what they'd do' and so on. I never really understood it - I'm just not one of those guys. And that's okay, there are far more guys that are more private and caring about sex then there are those that aren't - just because they're extremely vocal doesn't make them the majority.

To be honest there's a difference in intellect if you ask me. If you want to be a dumbass frat boy who says he's 'out for pussy' then that's what you'll be, a dumbass. If you want to be someone who wants a fulfilling relationship that is focused more on sharing time with someone else then you can do that.

Unfortunately society is heavily weighed in the frat boy camp, but then it's the lowest common denominater so what can you do It's the same with sports, if you don't watch sports or talk about them you effectively get quarantined by a significant portion of the male population if you're also a man.
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#21
Quote by Xiaoxi at #33988188
lol what a stupid ass thread, and a lame humblebrag "is it weird or creepy that i'm so considerate and upstanding?"

You just sound like a doormat. A catholic doormat.

this
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#23
not this guy again
There's no such thing; there never was. Where I am going you cannot follow me now.
#24
Sounds like you want to treat women in a way that isn't misogynistic or threatening, nothing weird or wrong about that.
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#25
Whatever kind of sex tickles your fanny fancy is fine, but where I see an issue is that you're concerned with how other people want to have sex. If some men like to be more aggressive, then whatever, it's not your place to suggest women are to be treated with elegance and grace in the bedroom.
#27
Quote by OddOneOut
Sounds like you want to treat women in a way that isn't misogynistic or threatening, nothing weird or wrong about that.


No, it's like this...

He wants a woman that should be provided for entirely. As the man, it's his job to earn the money, pay the bills, and protect her. So what if she wants to have a career of her own? She doesn't have time for that; her primary responsibility is that of a mother to his 9 children. Even if she did have time, no wife of his should ever have to work a job as long as he is the breadwinner.

It's like you know those dorks that collect things but rather than actually loving them they just keep them in the box forever (lest the value be ruined) and act like they are superior to all those heathens that would dare remove them from the box? That's basically how guys like TS look at women: not as a person, an equal, an individual but rather as something to be preserved on a box.
There's no such thing; there never was. Where I am going you cannot follow me now.
#28
Quote by theogonia777
He wants a woman that should be provided for entirely. As the man, it's his job to earn the money, pay the bills, and protect her. So what if she wants to have a career of her own? She doesn't have time for that; her primary responsibility is that of a mother to his 9 children. Even if she did have time, no wife of his should ever have to work a job as long as he is the breadwinner.
So OP is Walter White?
#31
Quote by theogonia777
No, it's like this...

He wants a woman that should be provided for entirely. As the man, it's his job to earn the money, pay the bills, and protect her. So what if she wants to have a career of her own? She doesn't have time for that; her primary responsibility is that of a mother to his 9 children. Even if she did have time, no wife of his should ever have to work a job as long as he is the breadwinner.

It's like you know those dorks that collect things but rather than actually loving them they just keep them in the box forever (lest the value be ruined) and act like they are superior to all those heathens that would dare remove them from the box? That's basically how guys like TS look at women: not as a person, an equal, an individual but rather as something to be preserved on a box.


Whao! Hold on there skippy! If you knew me in real life (as opposed to hiding behind anonymity), youd know how much I truly care for women. I never once good sir, said that they weren't allowed to hold/keep a job, or that only I was to be breadwinner, or that she had a pre-defined role, and frankly you need quit living in 1950.

I am curious though as to how you arrived at the conclusion that I am somehow a misogynist? Perhaps it was some misread ambiguity in post #6, where I said "I could take care of it myself, and that a woman shouldn't have to worry about that (even though she may want to)". What I meant in that paragraph, was that a guy can handle his own needs if worst comes to worst (ie masturbation), and a woman could just as well.

My point was, that if she wants to do that, that's fine and good - but she should never be neglected to the point where that becomes her sole outlet. If that logic somehow skews as anti-feminist, explain it to me...
#33
It's basically that "I have black friends so I'm not racist" mentalities.
There's no such thing; there never was. Where I am going you cannot follow me now.
#34
Quote by WCPhils
OP sounds like a nice guy
He's not tho. Read my second comment on the first page.
#35
Quote by Joshua Garcia
He's not tho. Read my second comment on the first page.

No I mean in the fedora way
___

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she was saying things like... do you want to netflix and chill but just the chill part...too bad she'll never know that I only like the Netflix part...
#36
Quote by neptune1988
Whao! Hold on there skippy! If you knew me in real life (as opposed to hiding behind anonymity), youd know how much I truly care for women. I never once good sir, said that they weren't allowed to hold/keep a job, or that only I was to be breadwinner, or that she had a pre-defined role, and frankly you need quit living in 1950.

I am curious though as to how you arrived at the conclusion that I am somehow a misogynist? Perhaps it was some misread ambiguity in post #6, where I said "I could take care of it myself, and that a woman shouldn't have to worry about that (even though she may want to)". What I meant in that paragraph, was that a guy can handle his own needs if worst comes to worst (ie masturbation), and a woman could just as well.

My point was, that if she wants to do that, that's fine and good - but she should never be neglected to the point where that becomes her sole outlet. If that logic somehow skews as anti-feminist, explain it to me...
Oh yeah, you also said that you probably wouldn't find a girl who would meet your standards. Something like they have to be as devoute of a Christian as you and that they can't drink lmao

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No I mean in the fedora way
Oh.
#38
That feel when OP:

o()o

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#39
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a Nice Guy™


this guy gets it.


PS

if any of yall are on steam, I go by username White Knight (because Im a nice guy and because Im a 4th Degree Knight of Columbus)
LOL
#40
With the Catholic thing and the "I don't even fantasize about girls or sex" thing, you can be 100% sure OP jacks it to some twisted shit.
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ooh look at me i'm ERIKLENSHERR and i work at fancy pants desk jobs and wear ties and ply barely legal girls with weed and booze i'm such a classy motherfucker.
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