#1
Your broad shoulders refract in the sunlight.
watched your body move from behind.
Revert my eyes when you turn around.
I try to Keep my desire out of sight.

Wouldn't we be great together?
The look in your eyes I know we would last forever.

You are the only thing on my mind.
I've noticed your expression,
a glance down my body
and that shiver down your spine.

They told me we'd be great together.
They said that we would last forever.

Why can't I get the courage
To hold your face and speak my mind.
indulge in the little fantasy of mine.
I swear the same thing is always on my mind.
Last edited by Stirups at May 31, 2016,
#2
Wow nice lyrics.Do not stop your writing and you have talent.If you are stoping your writing then we did not get good song and lyrics.If you want to improve your writing you can ask to writing resources help or expert help but i think no need .I am a student and now i am trying to complete my academic work with the help of custom essay writing service and writing resources.If you have new ideas please share with me.
#3
Some line could do with being tightened up rhythmically, but I get what you're going for.

I feel like the Waterpark title has some personal meaning? Maybe you could work some of that more overtly into the piece itself, to really drive things home. At the moment, it's like I'm being distanced from the scene and emotion behind it.

Good stuff though!
#4
evelynguerrero thanks and no problem
I swear the same thing is always on my mind.
#5
Those are delightful words. Do you already have a melody for them? Let us know when you did.
#6
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#7
awriter.org
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