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#1
The other day I was working home from work and I saw a downie kid. He looked pretty lost and I wondered if I should stop at ask him if he needed help but I just kept walking. I feel bad about it.

What situations like this make you realise you're not the best of people and how do you rationalise this behaviour in your mind.
#2
You're a terrible person.

EDIT ok seriously though this happened this morning
My default response to someone asking me to Google something, or to get directions to a place I don’t know, is to say my phone’s dead: I live in a decent enough city, but I don’t need getting mugged. I’ve tried pretending I’m Russian but it's not as effective and claiming a bum phone.

So as I’m leaving my road on the way to work, I’m getting my headphones out - about to listen to music - and there’s a guy at the end of the road looking lost. He walks up to me and specifies he’s not looking for money, he just wants to know where the local refugee centre is. I have the headphones wrapped around my hand and what does my brain do?

“Oh sorry my phone’s dead”

realising I was committed to the lie, I told him that the local shop (in sight) had a pc and they would look it up for him (they did and likely would). I felt a little bit bad about that
Last edited by Banjocal at Jun 2, 2016,
#4
Everything I do on the internet makes me realise I'm not the best of people.

I'm also not the absolute worst, and I made peace with being utterly mediocre long ago.
Quote by Diemon Dave
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#5
Quote by Banjocal
You're a terrible person.

EDIT ok seriously though this happened this morning


okay that's not too bad really

if you redirect them to another help point then that's a good deed
#6
Quote by slapsymcdougal
Everything I do on the internet makes me realise I'm not the best of people.

I'm also not the absolute worst, and I made peace with being utterly mediocre long ago.


ur humour maeks me happee
o()o

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#7
Almost every day on my drive home there's an abandoned building where like 3 or 4 homeless people sleep. I often think about pulling over and giving them some mons or buying them breakfast but never do and it makes me realize I'm not very generous.
#8
Walking past a homeless guy and not giving him my change.

But when there's like 4 or 5 in a row I just can't.
My old signature was too long. Have a daisy.

#9
I pass a 'homeless (is he, is he not, who knows?)' guy every week, seen him in the same place for months. I never give him anything. He also has a dog that is bigger than me. It's fucking huge.
#10
I feel bad that I don't feel bad that I've just come to terms with the fact that I just don't care about people that are not important in my life in some way.

^I do feel shitty about not giving homeless people money though, they need it more than I do, I just don't ever carry cash on me.

Edited for exaggerating a little too much
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Last edited by FireFromTheVoid at Jun 2, 2016,
#11
Quote by Banjocal
You're a terrible person.

EDIT ok seriously though this happened this morning

Reminds me, like a month ago I was on the bus, not many people there, just me, the driver, some old ladies at the front and this weird looking guy with tatts shaved head, crossed eyes, and he's drying his clothes on the chair in front of him (it was raining).

I take my seat near the back a couple rows behind him, minding my own business, when he pulls out his phone, and calls the operator, then asks to be connected to the local corrections centre. Halfway through his call he starts shouting "aww wtf", looking at his phone. Then he turns around, looks at me and says "oi mate" I'm like "aww fk this is it."

Then he asks to borrow my phone, apparently his had run out of credit halfway through his call, and that he needs to call his parole officer to say that he's going to be late to their meeting because if he's 10 minutes late, he loses his slot, and has to go back to prison for 6 months. To be clear, this guy is way taller and stronger, recently released from prison and could easily beat the shit out of 5 foot 9 me. But he's pleading saying "I wouldn't ask if it wasn't life or death" . I thought about making some excuse but it just felt weak, like it's so obvious that I have a phone and there weren't many other people there so I let him borrow it. I figured if he tries to run off with it he can't go far while stuck on the bus.

He makes his call, and afterwards tells me that he got done for assaulting someone who was trying to steal his car and had already spent 18 months in prison. He's a weird dude but i'm glad I helped in the end. It was tense for a bit tho.
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#13
Quote by Gatecrasher53
Reminds me, like a month ago I was on the bus, not many people there, just me, the driver, some old ladies at the front and this weird looking guy with tatts shaved head, crossed eyes, and he's drying his clothes on the chair in front of him (it was raining).

I take my seat near the back a couple rows behind him, minding my own business, when he pulls out his phone, and calls the operator, then asks to be connected to the local corrections centre. Halfway through his call he starts shouting "aww wtf", looking at his phone. Then he turns around, looks at me and says "oi mate" I'm like "aww fk this is it."

Then he asks to borrow my phone, apparently his had run out of credit halfway through his call, and that he needs to call his parole officer to say that he's going to be late to their meeting because if he's 10 minutes late, he loses his slot, and has to go back to prison for 6 months. To be clear, this guy is way taller and stronger, recently released from prison and could easily beat the shit out of 5 foot 9 me. But he's pleading saying "I wouldn't ask if it wasn't life or death" . I thought about making some excuse but it just felt weak, like it's so obvious that I have a phone and there weren't many other people there so I let him borrow it. I figured if he tries to run off with it he can't go far while stuck on the bus.

He makes his call, and afterwards tells me that he got done for assaulting someone who was trying to steal his car and had already spent 18 months in prison. He's a weird dude but i'm glad I helped in the end. It was tense for a bit tho.

Ах, так вы не пьете и не курите?
Хорошо для вас: вы здоровым умрете!
#14
Quote by EndTheRapture51
The other day I was working home from work



This confused me for a second.

Anyways there's this older guy from work that likes to make conversation for the sake of conversation. For instance I'll make my lunch, walk past my desk and he's has to know what I made, and what it is - "what you got there soup? What is that, chicken?". Gets rather tedious after awhile. In the morning (and when I usually am not the most personable person) he'll have to get you to strike up conversation with him, mostly over trivial unimportant things. I'll end up giving one word responses until the conversation tapers off. I feel bad about it though because I know he's just being friendly.
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#16
Quote by soundgarden1986
I don't give homeless people money bc I'm selfish




Quote by RCA1186
This confused me for a second.

Anyways there's this older guy from work that likes to make conversation for the sake of conversation. For instance I'll make my lunch, walk past my desk and he's has to know what I made, and what it is - "what you got there soup? What is that, chicken?". Gets rather tedious after awhile. In the morning (and when I usually am not the most personable person) he'll have to get you to strike up conversation with him, mostly over trivial unimportant things. I'll end up giving one word responses until the conversation tapers off. I feel bad about it though because I know he's just being friendly.


That's fine, some people just talk too much and need to learn to shut the fuck up for 5 minutes.
#17
ngl i still feel bad about earlier

Quote by RAB11
Walking past a homeless guy and not giving him my change.

But when there's like 4 or 5 in a row I just can't.
if you gave them all your money and worldly possessions, there'd only be one person who was homeless and five people happy.

~*~utilitarianism~*~
#18
Quote by RCA1186
This confused me for a second.

Anyways there's this older guy from work that likes to make conversation for the sake of conversation. For instance I'll make my lunch, walk past my desk and he's has to know what I made, and what it is - "what you got there soup? What is that, chicken?". Gets rather tedious after awhile. In the morning (and when I usually am not the most personable person) he'll have to get you to strike up conversation with him, mostly over trivial unimportant things. I'll end up giving one word responses until the conversation tapers off. I feel bad about it though because I know he's just being friendly.



I really wish it was socially acceptable to tell a smalltalker you aren't in the mood for conversation.
My old signature was too long. Have a daisy.

#19
I don't feel bad about not helping strangers because I would probably help them if I knew them. I just don't wanna be harassed about anything.

I feel bad when people who I'm with ignore homeless people who say hi to them. I say hi extra enthusiastically to try and make up for it even though it doesn't really.

I also feel bad when I eat meat.
cat
#20
Taking the last slice of pizza.


But not really cause i love pizza.
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#21
Quote by RAB11
I really wish it was socially acceptable to tell a smalltalker you aren't in the mood for conversation.
I just do it

I dont have any friends
#22
Quote by guitarxo
I don't feel bad about not helping strangers because I would probably help them if I knew them. I just don't wanna be harassed about anything.

I feel bad when people who I'm with ignore homeless people who say hi to them. I say hi extra enthusiastically to try and make up for it even though it doesn't really.

I also feel bad when I eat meat.


I feel bad when I don't buy the big issue

I say no thanks

But I never buy it
#23
Well I typically pass "homeless" people without donating to their cause and don't feel bad. I have seen too many of them pack up their signs at the end of the day and walk to a nearby car that is nicer than what I can afford to drive and put their sign, dirty jacket etc. in the trunk and speed away to what I am guessing is home.

Non-homeless pan handlers that are too lazy to work and would rather spend the day on the street corner asking for handouts ruin it for me.
"A well-wound coil is a well-wound coil regardless if it's wound with professional equipment, or if somebody's great-grandmother winds it to an old French recipe with Napoleon's modified coffee grinder and chops off the wire after a mile with an antique guillotine!"
- Bill Lawrence

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#24
As a whole, I hate the general public, so I feel very little remorse for any of my actions towards them.
#26
Quote by H4T3BR33D3R
Taking the last slice of pizza.


But not really cause i love pizza.

I sometimes feel bad for silently resenting you when you post pics of yet another awesome lunch, but then I remember that I don't really feel bad about it
#27
Quote by ultimate-slash at #33993634
I sometimes feel bad for silently resenting you when you post pics of yet another awesome lunch, but then I remember that I don't really feel bad about it





Speaking of which, I haven't done that in a while...
Quote by zgr0826
My culture is worthless and absolutely inferior to the almighty Leaf.


Quote by JustRooster
I incurred the wrath of the Association of White Knights. Specifically the Parent's Basement branch of service.
#28
Here, if you acknowledge the homeless - it provides them an event in which to ask for a handout.

At first, I felt inclined to respond when addressed by them. I'd then be engaged in conversation discussing how much of a shitloard I was because I couldn't spare a dollar despite the store-bought coffee I had in my hand every day.

Then, I felt inclined to not respond when addressed by them. I still felt like a shitlord because I knew they would criticize the way I spread my wealth should I respond.


Then....and only then...I remembered the story of the carpenter gone wine maker. Gather round children!

Once upon a time, there was this carpenter. He was the finest carpenter in the land. He built houses big and small. This carpenter was very very efficient at his craft, but would go home and partake in his own interests immediately after sunset in the privacy of his own home. One day, he invited a co-worker over. He closed the doors, insisted there be no flash photography, and shared with the co-worker his personal after-hours interests. He showed his fermentation and distillation operation he ran out his basement, and allowed the coworker to sample his wares. It's unfortunate his coworker wasn't a wine connoisseur - because the carpenter was immediately branded as a cork soaker.

So- back to reality.

I decided to become a cork soaker to the homeless. I went into work late one morning (to avoid the common crowd), and when approached by the homeless - I began mercilessly reading the riot act to the nearest building. The spectacle was just crazy enough to deter future engagement from the homeless community on that street.


I'm still a shitlord, and I still buy my capitalistic coffee - but at least now I'm not prompted into guilt.
Real knowledge is to know the extent of one's ignorance - Confucius
#29
A friend of mine at uni actually did a study on homeless people around Oxford.

The vast majority of them know how to 'not' be homeless, as in they know what they need to do to find accommodation etc, but they just choose not to. They're so used to being homeless that that feels like 'home' to them.

That makes me feel slightly less guilty about not giving them money.

Also the fact that a lot of them will just spend it on booze/drugs anyway.
#30
Not giving money to homeless people is about the only thing that makes me feel bad, but I'm not exactly loaded with cash so that makes me feel less bad
I have nothing important to say
#31
A lot of the homeless people around here are absolute shitheads and I dont feel bad not giving anything to them

Theyre obnoxious as fuck and ruin everything downtown and a good amount of them dont even bother hiding the fact theyre addicts anymore
#32
Most of the homeless people I see are really friendly. The ones who yell at me are few and far between and most of them can't help it so I'm not gonna judge them for that. I know some of them are addicted to something and they are nice to me too. Seriously, I think this city has the nicest homeless people in the world. There certainly are other cities where I would not make eye contact with anyone asking for money or help.
cat
#33
There is such a small population of publicly-homeless homeless people here that the cops pretty much just shoo them into a thick copse beside an interstate overpass.
#34
I went to a convenience store a few weeks ago to get something to drink and a guy was standing outside. As I walked by he asked me if I had a few dollars he could have because he hadn't eaten in three days. I said "sorry I don't have any money" like a dumbass and I immediately felt horrible because I had so much money in my pocket at the time. But I figured he was gonna go buy cigarettes or beer with it so I didn't.

So I walk out of the store and I sneak past him because I want to avoid awkwardness. As I was walking away I thought "man he actually seemed really down on his luck and kind of genuine." So I went back and offered to buy him a burger at the restaurant next door. He was so thankful and glad to get food which normally would have made me feel good, but I still felt awful because my instinct was to lie and not be compassionate and it annoyed me that I did that.
#36
Quote by FireFromTheVoid
^I do feel shitty about not giving homeless people money though, they need it more than I do, I just don't ever carry cash on me.


At what point failling to "give in" to an emotional appeal means you really should feel bad?

Someone being homeless and asking for money is not a one-time thing they do pleading for help, it's recurrent and their way to survive, it's their "job" in a way. It's a job that requires many people to give them money using an emotional appeal (e.g tell you their life story and plead so you feel guilted into giving them money). Granted, that's the only thing they can do and aren't doing it with evil intentions to manipulate people ... it's just the only thing they can do at that moment (or at least that "homeless system" is culturally estrablished that way)

Being homeless and expecting to survive by asking random people to give you money is a systemic problem, which isn't solved by those specific people giving him money (i.e by you doing what they ask). You giving them money won't change their status anymore than you receiving the same pay check every month changes your status. So you doing it or not doing it doesn't reflect much on whether you are a "good person", it just means you performed an action under this system and nothing else (just like you buying something isn't a "good" or "bad" action, it's just an action that falls under the parameters of a certain economic system).

So no, "feeling bad" is just part of that emotional appeal when you fail to give them money. Giving them little money also "feels good" even if objectively it isn't.
To actually "feel good" and do good, you'd need to provide help outside that "system", either via a very big donation, or decide to help them individually, give them emotional support and talk to them, go work with some charity or social program designed to help them, etc. You can also try to fight for or support policies that will help those people, and hopefully eradicate that crappy "homeless" system. Stuff like improving the economy for the poor, supporting social policies towards them (like giving them housing, food, clothes, etc), support a system that allows them to work for money doing something else and allows them to support themselves, etc. If you do stuff like that you'd be helping them much more, even if you never give them money again.

Though it's impossible to "solve" the problem overnight, so giving them money every now and then is a necessary evil. But if you don't do so you aren't a shitlord or anything, specially since it's logistically impossible to do so correctly.
It's logistically impossible because to do so correctly you'd need to give money to EVERY homeless person in your city/neighbourhood money every day. If you just give money to the ones that ask you, it means you determine who to give money to based on a temporal and spatial restriction, i.e you only give money to the ones that happen to be there at that time in that place you are, and not to any other (when there is no real reason to).
#37
Quote by Aeolian Harmony
The guilt is from the Catholicism



Jesus, Ma... layin' on that Catholic guilt really heavy today, aren't we?
Real knowledge is to know the extent of one's ignorance - Confucius
#38
Quote by Aeolian Harmony
The guilt is from the Catholicism



Last edited by bradulator at Jun 2, 2016,
#39
lol guilt's not a bad thing, especially when it drives prosocial behavior

*looks around for any Nietzscheans hiding in the bushes*


edit: Jesuits and Franciscans hmu
Last edited by Aeolian Harmony at Jun 2, 2016,
#40
Quote by bradulator
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Don't the catholic church mostly help choirboys have looser assholes?
Quote by Diemon Dave
Don't go ninjerin nobody don't need ninjerin'
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