#1
ie: i tried to fry and egg on the sidewalk

it didn't cook and just got goopy and ants came so i left
superman is killing himself tonight
#2
"A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush."

I've had a bird in my hand, but I've never been able to get both hands in a bush (although I've seen videos, so it's possible...) and thus am unable to confirm or deny.
“Ignorance more frequently begets confidence than does knowledge.”
Charles Darwin
#3
I tried killing two birds with one stone but I can't get the ricochet right
dirtbag ballet by the bins down the alley
as i walk through the chalet of the shadow of death
everything that you've come to expect


#4
Quote by Trowzaa
I tried killing two birds with one stone but I can't get the ricochet right


You just need a bigger stone.
“Ignorance more frequently begets confidence than does knowledge.”
Charles Darwin
#5
Quote by Arby911 at #33994981
"A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush."

I've had a bird in my hand, but I've never been able to get both hands in a bush (although I've seen videos, so it's possible...) and thus am unable to confirm or deny.


Reall it's worth closer to 1 and a half. the Aussie Dollar is 1.40 to a single USD.


Quote by Trowzaa at #33994985
I tried killing two birds with one stone but I can't get the ricochet right
Get a boulder, find a nest with birds, drop them like Danzig getting roughed up by a fan.
Quote by zgr0826
My culture is worthless and absolutely inferior to the almighty Leaf.


Quote by JustRooster
I incurred the wrath of the Association of White Knights. Specifically the Parent's Basement branch of service.
#6
I put my money where my mouth was...

Tasted like a sweaty handshake
Uncle aciD

&

The deadbeatS


Do What Your Love Tells You
#9
I lead a horse to water, and I'll be damned: the sonofabitch wouldn't drink.
Quote by soundgarden1986
Screw your bases. If she doesn't let me go elbow deep in her ass on the first date, it wasn't meant to be.


Quote by willT08
Every thread on here to do with audio quality is like walking into a paddock of shit slinging chimps
#10
I couldn't stand the heat so I got out of the *******.
There's nothing left here to be saved
Just barreling dogs and barking trains
Another year lost to the blue line
#16
Quote by gonzaw
You were supposed to look at his teeth first! So inconsiderate!

Someone gave me a horse. I didn't look at its teeth.
#20
I once kidnapped a guy called Mohammed and took him to the Matterhorn because the Matterhorn wouldn't come to him.
Quote by Diemon Dave
Don't go ninjerin nobody don't need ninjerin'
#21
I lost something, found it, and then kept looking for it to disprove its always in the last place you look.
#22
I too tried to fry an egg on the sidewalk but live in alabama and it was the middle of the summer so it actually worked somewhat. It bubbled at least.

We didn't have a spatula or anything so once we realized the flaw in our plan we kinda just abandoned it to cook forever
One of the third friendliest users
Stratkat's pet


Quote by Momentosis
Void is a wanker that's why

#23
i cut off my nose despite my face
(\__/)
(='.'=) This is Bunny. Copy and paste Bunny into your
( )_( ) signature to help him gain World Domination



Do you remember chalk hearts melting on a playground wall
Do you remember dawn escapes from moon washed college halls
Do you remember the cherry blossom in the market square
Do you remember I thought it was confetti in our hair
#25
Quote by gonzaw
You were supposed to look at his teeth first! So inconsiderate!

On a side note, it wasn't until very recently that I caught the meaning behind "Don't look a gift horse in the mouth." It's referencing looking at a horse's teeth to determine it's health and maybe age from how worn down the teeth are to tell how good of a horse it is, when you should just be happy about the free horse. Admittedly it's not a phrase I hear very often and I knew that it basically meant to not be overly critical about something that was given to you, but I just never thought about the phrase enough to really get what it was actual saying until the other day.
#26
Quote by kalypto
i cut off my nose despite my face



"To spite" not "despite". Fucking nob.
“Ignorance more frequently begets confidence than does knowledge.”
Charles Darwin
#27
I tried to pull the wool over somebody's eyes and she called the police.
Quote by jakesmellspoo
ooh look at me i'm ERIKLENSHERR and i work at fancy pants desk jobs and wear ties and ply barely legal girls with weed and booze i'm such a classy motherfucker.
#30
Quote by Arby911
"To spite" not "despite". Fucking nob.

I hole-hardedly agree, but allow me to play doubles advocate here for a moment. For all intensive purposes I think you are wrong. In an age where false morals are a diamond dozen, true virtues are a blessing in the skies. We often put our false morality on a petal stool like a bunch of pre-Madonnas, but you all seem to be taking something very valuable for granite. So I ask of you to mustard up all the strength you can because it is a doggy dog world out there. Although there is some merit to what you are saying it seems like you have a huge ship on your shoulder. In your argument you seem to throw everything in but the kids Nsync, and even though you are having a feel day with this I am here to bring you back into reality. I have a sick sense when it comes to these types of things. It is almost spooky, because I cannot turn a blonde eye to these glaring flaws in your rhetoric. I have zero taller ants when it comes to people spouting out hate in the name of moral righteousness. You just need to remember what comes around is all around, and when supply and command fails you will be the first to go. Make my words, when you get down to brass stacks it doesn't take rocket appliances to get two birds stoned at once. It's clear who makes the pants in this relationship, and sometimes you just have to swallow your prize and accept the facts. You might have to come to this conclusion through denial and error but I swear on my mother's mating name that when you put the petal to the medal you will pass with flying carpets like it’s a peach of cake.
(\__/)
(='.'=) This is Bunny. Copy and paste Bunny into your
( )_( ) signature to help him gain World Domination



Do you remember chalk hearts melting on a playground wall
Do you remember dawn escapes from moon washed college halls
Do you remember the cherry blossom in the market square
Do you remember I thought it was confetti in our hair
#32
Quote by kalypto at #33995985
I hole-hardedly agree, but allow me to play doubles advocate here for a moment. For all intensive purposes I think you are wrong. In an age where false morals are a diamond dozen, true virtues are a blessing in the skies. We often put our false morality on a petal stool like a bunch of pre-Madonnas, but you all seem to be taking something very valuable for granite. So I ask of you to mustard up all the strength you can because it is a doggy dog world out there. Although there is some merit to what you are saying it seems like you have a huge ship on your shoulder. In your argument you seem to throw everything in but the kids Nsync, and even though you are having a feel day with this I am here to bring you back into reality. I have a sick sense when it comes to these types of things. It is almost spooky, because I cannot turn a blonde eye to these glaring flaws in your rhetoric. I have zero taller ants when it comes to people spouting out hate in the name of moral righteousness. You just need to remember what comes around is all around, and when supply and command fails you will be the first to go. Make my words, when you get down to brass stacks it doesn't take rocket appliances to get two birds stoned at once. It's clear who makes the pants in this relationship, and sometimes you just have to swallow your prize and accept the facts. You might have to come to this conclusion through denial and error but I swear on my mother's mating name that when you put the petal to the medal you will pass with flying carpets like it’s a peach of cake.



#34
Quote by kalypto
I hole-hardedly agree, but allow me to play doubles advocate here for a moment. For all intensive purposes I think you are wrong. In an age where false morals are a diamond dozen, true virtues are a blessing in the skies. We often put our false morality on a petal stool like a bunch of pre-Madonnas, but you all seem to be taking something very valuable for granite. So I ask of you to mustard up all the strength you can because it is a doggy dog world out there. Although there is some merit to what you are saying it seems like you have a huge ship on your shoulder. In your argument you seem to throw everything in but the kids Nsync, and even though you are having a feel day with this I am here to bring you back into reality. I have a sick sense when it comes to these types of things. It is almost spooky, because I cannot turn a blonde eye to these glaring flaws in your rhetoric. I have zero taller ants when it comes to people spouting out hate in the name of moral righteousness. You just need to remember what comes around is all around, and when supply and command fails you will be the first to go. Make my words, when you get down to brass stacks it doesn't take rocket appliances to get two birds stoned at once. It's clear who makes the pants in this relationship, and sometimes you just have to swallow your prize and accept the facts. You might have to come to this conclusion through denial and error but I swear on my mother's mating name that when you put the petal to the medal you will pass with flying carpets like it’s a peach of cake.


jeez this is great
My God, it's full of stars!
#36
that reminds me of a professor I had.
He was from India and always fucked up sayings
Like a real life sitcom character.

"You never know, anytime you can just hit de bucket"
#38
Quote by Dreadnought
jeez this is grate

ftfy
Quote by Diemon Dave
Don't go ninjerin nobody don't need ninjerin'