#1
DEAR THE PIT,

My cousin needs some advice. He has recently come out of a long term relationship (5 months) and wants to win her back.

He has done some stupid things, like suggest she should lose weight and he also told her that she wasn't clever enough to work as a receptionist.

I want to give my cuz some advice, so what would you suggest?
The king stay the king
#2
Does everyone in your family date fat chicks?
Quote by jakesmellspoo
ooh look at me i'm ERIKLENSHERR and i work at fancy pants desk jobs and wear ties and ply barely legal girls with weed and booze i'm such a classy motherfucker.
#3
Quote by ErikLensherr
Does everyone in your family date fat chicks?


It's not a family tradition, but there are a few in the family yes
The king stay the king
#8
First off mate, bitches love the motion of the ocean. Take her to the ocean or the lake. Also bitches love humor, try not to be too serious on your make-up date. Stage a practical joke for her enjoyment.

Finally, bitches love it when you care about their future. You should do something to let her know you care about her and her future health/security.
Quote by Hal-Sephira

We all have the rights to be mad

So does you
#9
Quote by Victory2134
First off mate, bitches love the motion of the ocean. Take her to the ocean or the lake. Also bitches love humor, try not to be too serious on your make-up date. Stage a practical joke for her enjoyment.

Finally, bitches love it when you care about their future. You should do something to let her know you care about her and her future health/security.

Bitches also like to be tied up and fucked by suprise
#11
5 months is not long term

Also he sounds like a bellend
Eat your pheasant
Drink your wine
Your days are numbered, bourgeois swine!
#12
you don't deserve a girlfriend and should be alone for the rest of your life because you're human trash


i mean your cousin
#13
tell her he has a surprise for her and then drive into a lake and laugh
My Gear:
Oh wait, no one cares

"Buckethead is probably twice as good a guitar player as me and Slash combined" - Dave Mustaine
#14
Did you get your driver's license yet?
Quote by DisarmGoliath
Facesitting is a violation of freedom of speech, because how can you speak when you have an ass covering your face?
#15
Telling a girl to get fit is a guys way of saying he loves her and is willing to stay with her. receptionists need to be clever. Cheating is the only offense you can't expect to get back on.
Last edited by geo-rage at Jun 5, 2016,
#16
I'd suggest moving on to a different relationship with somebody that isn't fat.
#18
"How do you convince a girl you're not a dick despite saying dickish things? Asking for a cousin."
Quote by snipelfritz
You lost me at "Lubricate."

I'm raw, like nature. Nature boy. Big jungle leaves are my cum rags.

Sometimes I fuck a bamboo shoot.


There's nothing left here to be saved
Just barreling dogs and barking trains
Another year lost to the blue line
Last edited by Joshua Garcia at Jun 5, 2016,
#20
I don't usually do this, but it fits (Read it in his voice, it makes it better)...

Last edited by CodeMonk at Jun 6, 2016,
#21
your cousin was abusive. No abusive person deserves to have the person they abused back, so he shouldn't even try.
If there is a God, it's me.
#23
Quote by UltimateGuizar
Is this the same cousin you think might be gay?
If not, I'd love to meet his uncles.
Quote by snipelfritz
You lost me at "Lubricate."

I'm raw, like nature. Nature boy. Big jungle leaves are my cum rags.

Sometimes I fuck a bamboo shoot.


There's nothing left here to be saved
Just barreling dogs and barking trains
Another year lost to the blue line
#26
Quote by Victory2134
First off mate, bitches love the motion of the ocean. Take her to the ocean or the lake. Also bitches love humor, try not to be too serious on your make-up date. Stage a practical joke for her enjoyment.

Finally, bitches love it when you care about their future. You should do something to let her know you care about her and her future health/security.

Yeah arrange to meet near a lake late at night. Then rock up wearing a mask or something and jump out of the bushes to freak her out then rape her but half way through take off your mask and go "it was just a prank bro!"
#27
Quote by TommyNuts
long term relationship (5 months)????? wtf lmfao


5 months is a pretty long time Tom.
The king stay the king
#28
Quote by UltimateGuizar
Is this the same cousin you think might be gay?


Yes mate I think so, he is not actually gay tho, just had a "phase".
The king stay the king
#29
Quote by tp600
Yes mate I think so, he is not actually gay tho, just had a "phase".


he should have stayed gay. Life's better that way.
If there is a God, it's me.