Do you have different tiers of friends who you get along with to different levels?

Well yes obviously everyone's got their mates and then their close mates, but do certain groups of friends tire you out more than others?

Some mates I can spend like the entire day with doing anything. Conversation never runs dry, we always have a good time and it is effortless hanging out with them. I come home enthused and happy whatever we've done.

Other mates I can spend time with them but there always comes a time by which I'm a little bored of them/ Conversation doesn't flow as much and I just wanna get home. I still enjoy spending time with them don't get me wrong but it tires me out much more and just isn't as natural. We have less shared experiences and interests align a little less.

longing rusted furnace daybreak seventeen benign nine homecoming one freight car
I have no friends.
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longing rusted furnace daybreak seventeen benign nine homecoming one freight car
I consider someone a friend if we can be honest with one another and choose to meet up outside of work hours without it being forced, and for non-professional reasons. You can do the latter a lot but the former seems to be difficult.

I prefer friendships where you can pick up a conversation you had years ago with no effort, even after long gaps away from them.
I can spend more time with my two best friends without getting bored but they still get annoying sometimes

Other friends I see fairly infrequently so inevitably the conversations aren't as long and stuff because we aren't as close
I have nothing important to say
Three guys who are my closest friends. Two of them I grew up with and all three of us were deployed to Iraq together. We definitely share a strong bond.

I don't see them very often now, we don't live close and we all have families and different jobs now.

When we do get together it's like no time has passed at all.
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If KFC is finger-licking good, then people would probably suck dicks for Popeyes. That's how good it is.

There's nothing left here to be saved
Just barreling dogs and barking trains
Another year lost to the blue line
I love everyone here though. Even my haters.

Looking at you, ali, genghis, Johnny Genzale and... Fat Lard... maybe? Idk with him, he's changed his mind on me a few times.
Nope. Well one time I hung out with the same person every day for an entire summer and I started disliking her towards the end, so I know I can't do that again. But in general no.
Growing up I had two closest friends. One was my next door neighbour and we did everything together outside of school (he was 1 year above me so we didn't hang out together in school because he was also a popular kid and I was a nobody). That dynamic alone was frustrating because we'd be best friends outside of school but in school it was like he barely knew me.

And then there was my best friend through school. We always spent time together but we didn't really have that much in common and we never had a friendship where we revealed much about ourselves. After school we went down different paths and I barely see him now.

Then there is a guy I became friends with later through school who he admits hated my guts when he first met me. It was only through our friends group playing RuneScape that he befriended me. We became closer and closer ever since then. We have a great communication relationship where we can be ourselves and open up to each other about things.
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I love everyone here though. Even my haters.

Looking at you, ali, genghis, Johnny Genzale and... Fat Lard... maybe? Idk with him, he's changed his mind on me a few times.

You forgot about me

Tiger got to hunt, bird got to fly; man got to sit and wonder, 'Why, why, why?'
Tiger got to sleep, bird got to land; man got to tell himself he understand.

nearly every person i considered a close friend in high school, i started to slowly work them out of my life bc they got annoying

i still have a close knit group but i didnt go to the same school as them so they did not have to be purged. they also didnt turn into cringey shit lords

tho i should add that there are a couple people here id rather converse with than anyone i know irl
Last edited by soundgarden1986 at Jun 6, 2016,
I have a small handful of friends

Only one of them isn't an online friend
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I have one group of guys who I go and see every couple of months. Would be more but, ya know, adult life gets in the way.

Other guys from uni I don't see as much but we still meet up every now and then.

No one really from my area so I have to drive for a couple of hours every time.
Yes. Different languages and wildly different careers, interests and hobbies mean that I have quite a few impermeable groups of friends. Usually they don't mix well
I have a group of about...10 very close friends, who are conveniently all friends with each other. We're all in our mid-20s now though with full time jobs so naturally we don't see each other as often any more, but when we do it's as if no time has passed.

I've then got a couple of 'satellite' friends I guess, people who I get on very well with, but we're only really friends as we see each other due to a set activity - a football team I play for, for example.

I don't tend to bother that much with anyone else any more, I just don't have the time. Obviously I've got a few hundred Facebook friends like every one else does, and were I to bump into them there'd be a quick 'Hi how've you been!?' conversation for about 3 minutes, only to never see them ever again.

I think the older you get the more ties you end up cutting altogether.

That's also partially my facebook 'rule' however. If I were to see someone in public and actively avoid talking to them, they're to be deleted.
Last edited by matt bickerton at Jun 6, 2016,
I actually hang out with a decent amount of people I used to but obviously I have a group of people that are closer to me than the others.

As for friends that get tiring after a bit, there are 1 or 2 guys that fit the bill (especially years ago) but now I don't see them as often so I can deal with it for longer.
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Ya I have a few that are like brothers, been there for eachother for over 25 years. Can take a year without seeing them even and nothing changes. Then the band friends I see weekly for a few months a year, we're pretty close, but onky me and the drummer hang out outside the band really. Then dozens of satelite friends who I am only really connected to through first tier and band friends. Those are the ones who can be annoying
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I had several independent cliques of friends that I held from about age 15 on to present time.

First of which are 1-2 people that could take the shirt off my own back should they need it. They've trusted myself and my judgement with their lives. We do take "breaks" from one another somewhat frequently - partly because being 30 does that to you if you're not a "never-grow-up shitlord" and partly because we hold very polar opinions on certain topics. This group used to be 1-2 people larger, but they violated the unspoken/unwritten "you can think or call me stupid, but don't apply judgement to my way of life" rule. I probably see these 2 independent of each other about 1-2 times every 6-18 months.

Second group are the forced-friends. I'm currently pursuing a better pedigree from a bigger university and every 16 weeks I get a new group of people to pretend to like until the class time is done. If I can, I try to find people that are predictable in any sense of the word. I'd rather work with someone who is predictably an under-achiever who has under-achieved before than to take "the devil I don't know" under my wing and through a project.

The 3rd and 4th tier have mostly blended in recent time. The 3rd tier was the social friends who were always up for grabbing a beer. They didn't get the deep conversations, personal goals, personal accountability statements, theories, ideas, and deep level of investment the first tier received - but I did enjoy their company. This group used to be my 2nd tier until school started up. When that happened, I took inventory and found these to be from more of a negative "hey man, school is just a piece of paper" mindset. They'd also become upset if I had to choose between the thousands I've invested into personal betterment and a night out on the town.

The 4th are those I've friended on Facespace along the way and haven't really kept close enough to develop rapport.

Most of the 3rd and 4th tier have been shed. I talk to 2-3 people from the 2nd tier post-semester, and 1-2 people from the first tier and I still meet up. Everyone else can text me - though I might not respond.
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Last edited by dPrimmy at Jun 6, 2016,

my best friend is like, the light of my life basically

then i have three very close friends who i trust a lot and can count on to be there when i need them

then there's loads of people i like but just don't know so well

then there's general people who i get on with but wouldn't really consider friends
I don't really tire, but in terms of not having enough conversations and stuff it could apply to all my friends. Don't really have someone I "bond" with easily and can spend a whole day just talking and nothing else without feeling disengaged at any moment

Though I don't see why not having the above is a bad thing either. You can't force stuff like that to happen, and I still love all my friends whether we can talk about stuff effortlessly or not
I really like talking to a few people here on UG. (We're friends josh, get over it)

irl I just have my work buddies. They're cool, but I don't really care about mixing them into my personal life.
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I really only have three close friends two I have known since elementary school one of whom lives in another state we keep in touch over the phone and he comes in town about once a year, the other I see about as often though he lives fairly close because he works like 65/70 hours a week.

The third is an ex-band mate I see him most often although we are not as close, he is constantly wheeling and dealing music gear and I buy stuff from him cheap and we usually go to concerts together as he is the only person I like well enough to do that who has the same musical tastes that I do but he has a penchant for suboxone and flakes out from time to time, all of the rest are Facebook friends, people from my past many of which I don't care that much for, I do enjoy chating with the folks here at UG tho!
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Couldn't help it.

Not that I'd know \/ The only good friend I have is my childhood friend who never meets up despite making plans and it's been like six months oooiiiii.

Also this guy who badgers me for relationship advice all the time, he's pretty decent otherwise.
I have my friends that I only play music with, don't really talk to them or see them outside of gigs. I have my friends that I like to kick it with on the daily. Then I have my friends I like to kick it with that also play music with me. Then I got my girlfriend.