Poll: Yr Fave?
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View poll results: Yr Fave?
Everything Is Chimps
4 33%
Servile
3 25%
The Rain
3 25%
Reflections Of Home
0 0%
Tobias the God
0 0%
Connor, an Epic
2 17%
Voters: 12.
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#1
Hey!

It's a Short Story Competition!

We need your eyeballs and brain matter!


We've had six great submissions by talented writers from the Pit this year, and now we're looking for readers and voters. The word limit was 1300, so don't worry about time: These stories are a good time and emphasize short. There was no set theme, format, or genre, so everyone was free to write their whims!

There will be a Jury Selection as well as the Audience Choice. We'll post the results for the former here. Prizes include such luxuries as a friendly pat on the back, a maternal embrace, and the quiet pride of accomplishment followed by the comeuppance of stasis.

Here are the entries:

Everything Is Chimps
Connor, an Epic
Tobias the God
Servile
The Rain
Reflections Of Home

Give 'em all a read and get voting!
Last edited by ali.guitarkid7 at Jul 1, 2016,
#2
Pretty good readin' material for a bunch of dorks.
Quote by JustRooster
That's a shamanic incantation of truth if I ever heard one.
#4
Fine material from a murder of dorks, even.
Quote by JustRooster
That's a shamanic incantation of truth if I ever heard one.
#6
dork ad portas
Quote by JustRooster
That's a shamanic incantation of truth if I ever heard one.
Last edited by Aeolian Harmony at Jul 1, 2016,
#8
Garden of Dorking Paths
Quote by JustRooster
That's a shamanic incantation of truth if I ever heard one.
#10
Joe Versus the Dorkcano
Quote by JustRooster
That's a shamanic incantation of truth if I ever heard one.
#12
A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Dork
Quote by JustRooster
That's a shamanic incantation of truth if I ever heard one.
#14
Dorkliners
Quote by JustRooster
That's a shamanic incantation of truth if I ever heard one.
#16
In truth, there was only one dork, and he died on the cross.
Quote by JustRooster
That's a shamanic incantation of truth if I ever heard one.
#18
All dorks are equal, but some dorks are more equal than other.

Quote by JustRooster
That's a shamanic incantation of truth if I ever heard one.
#20
Alas, poor Yorick, I knew that dork well.
Alas, poor dork, I knew him well.
Quote by JustRooster
That's a shamanic incantation of truth if I ever heard one.
Last edited by Aeolian Harmony at Jul 1, 2016,
#24
whan that aprill with its shoures soote
the droghte of marche hath perced to the roote
and bathed every veyne in swich licour
of which vertu engendered is the dork
#26
My buddy refers to his penis as his dork and it's always been pretty funny.
OBEY THE MIGHTY SHITKICKER
#27
My vote goes to the story where the Sprouse twins get attacked by a sea monster.
There's no such thing; there never was. Where I am going you cannot follow me now.
#28
With their show canceled and their careers ended, Dylan and Cole Sprouse resorted to poaching dolphins for their natural oils as a means of creating the income necessary to sustain their frivolous lifestyle and sophomoric antics; juvenile shenanigans and luxury bunkbeds don't pay for themselves.

After yet another unsuccessful day of pursuing their quarry on their fishing boat, the Sprouse Grouse, the twins were particularly frustrated. The fact that their aims were roughly equatable to that of Christian Ponder was largely to blame. With the bountiful sea refusing to yield a satisfactory harvest, or any quantity whatsoever, and being contractually obligated to eat nothing but Danimals yogurt, they decided to call it quits for the day and set sail for port.

While heading in, Dylan detected an ominous anomaly. Storm clouds were gathering, and yet the barometer showed no significant drop in atmospheric pressure. Cole tried to reassure his brother that he was simply misreading the gauge on the instrument due to a combination of dehydration, weariness, and possible food poisoning brought on by inadequately refrigerated yogurt.

As the briny deep traded its placid green hue for a bleak grey, the sea began to churn. Among the whitecaps, an unsettling ripple began to appear, as if something straight from an old seaman's mouth. The situation elevated from fisherman's tale to the stuff of Viking legend as a great beast rose from the center of the maelstrom.

The beast descended upon the Sprouse Grouse like a ravenous pack of wolves and ensnared the vessel with its tentacles. Within moments it bisected the boat and the twins quickly found themselves in the swirling froth of the enraged sea. Their assailant snatched them up and began to perform unspeakable acts on the twins with its tentacles. After an experience that eclipsed even the expulsion of the vile Danimals yogurt, the twins were dragged down into the abyss below, never to be seen again.

In the weeks following, curious reports of mysterious deaths of dolphins due to poisoning by rancid dairy products began to fill the middle pages of newspapers all across small coastal port towns. It would seem that the twins were far more proficient in the ways of pollution via flotsam than in hunting marine life.
There's no such thing; there never was. Where I am going you cannot follow me now.
Last edited by theogonia777 at Jul 1, 2016,
#29
Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amount of dorks.
Quote by JustRooster
That's a shamanic incantation of truth if I ever heard one.
#30
I'm proud of us. We're pretty alright at this.
OBEY THE MIGHTY SHITKICKER
#32
I thought there was some serious dicussion going on in this thread. Turns out there was.

I'm going to have to read through everything at least one more time. They're all great tbh.
#33
Quote by theogonia777
My vote goes to the story where the Sprouse twins get attacked by a sea monster.

Do ya mind going through these though?

Quote by JustRooster
I'm proud of us. We're pretty alright at this.

Yeah you guys. Ignoring the dork jokes we did good.
#34
The dork jokes are basically cheap streamers for our collective achievement.
Quote by JustRooster
That's a shamanic incantation of truth if I ever heard one.
#36
Quote by ali.guitarkid7
Do ya mind going through these though?


I do mind in fact. = \
There's no such thing; there never was. Where I am going you cannot follow me now.
#39
Quote by JustRooster
Bump


Quote by JustRooster
That's a shamanic incantation of truth if I ever heard one.
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