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#1
I just had some people banging on my door (It's 3am here) because some drunk dude was saying he was my roommate. This had been going on for awhile, because normally you'd ignore people knocking on your door in the middle of the night, what if they're here to kill you obviously. But enough was enough. SO after an hour of that shit every few minutes I opened my door to find some short, fat, shirtless dude holding a bud light and a qt who then asks me if this dude is my roommate, I say no, she says "I thought so" and storms off (maybe the dude has been bugging other people, idk) and he's looking around like wha? and I just closed my door and made extra sure to lock it.

Imo that was really stupid, did the dude think I was gonna say yea or something?


Tell us some dumb stuff stories.


Also he had a stupid haircut
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Quote by Momentosis
Void is a wanker that's why

Last edited by FireFromTheVoid at Jul 21, 2016,
#2
I put my student loans into forbearance this month because I just moved and am low on money but they came out of my bank account anyway and overdrafted my bank account, so I had to borrow money from family and now it will be at least 10 days before I'm refunded.
#3
Something similar is actually why I switched banks, they didn't do what I asked and then it caused an overdraft so I just opened an account with a credit union with better overdraft policy stuff
One of the third friendliest users
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Quote by Momentosis
Void is a wanker that's why

#4
The bank was actually nice and refunded my overdraft fee, the private lender is the one who fucked up


actually im the one who fucked up by taking out student loans for a music performance degree, but something something hindsight
#5
I paid an extra £25 for my camera because the Brexit cunts fucked up the Pound. I also paid a lot in import tax because like a pleb it didn't even cross my mind.

But still £25 I mean jesus fucking christ
Quote by EndTheRapture51
who pays five hundred fucking dollars for a burger
#6
Two identical parcels for two different bars at my work got delivered on Friday. They were courier parcels so I had to get someone from each to come and sign and collect them.

Monday morning person from Bar A signs and collects their parcel.

Tuesday morning, person from Bar B comes to sign and collect theirs but it seems because it was Monday I accidentally gave Bar B's parcel to Bar A. I'm pretty sure the contents will be the same but I don't wanna take my chances to phone Bar A. The person who signed for the parcel on Monday wasn't in, and they have no idea about the parcel. Brilliant. Tell Bar B person to bear with me, he's very understanding thankfully.

Yesterday morning I go into Bar A on my rounds and the person from Monday is in again. Ask about the parcel, she says she gave it to the bar manager so we go see her. Manager says she gave it to the receptionist, but it's nowhere to be found in reception. But original person says she'll look and let me know.

That afternoon a different receptionist gives me a call blathering on about a parcel she's not been informed about. I go over there, with the parcel actually meant for Bar A, and see. They've opened it and put the contents (just promotional material for a brand of rum) into another scabby box. I get them to open the parcel meant for them just to check it's the same. It is, except the parcel meant for Bar A has a couple t-shirts in whereas the parcel for Bar B doesn't.

I've left Bar B a voicemail saying I've sorted and could they come back to collect their parcel but I'm gonna have to get them to sign for an opened box that's not really fit for purpose.

Lots of dumb shit happening because of me being a dumb shit in the first place
My old signature was too long. Have a daisy.

Last edited by RAB11 at Jul 21, 2016,
#7
As some of you might know, I quit drinking heavily every day, drink once a month if that even.

My father has been convinced I've been drinking everyday for the last 8 days, I haven't had a drop of alcohol.

Shit is annoying, I have no way to prove I'm not drunk, because I was such a high functioning drunk when I did drink.

He threatened to kick me out if I don't stop, how the fuck are you supposed to stop what you're already not doing?
Last edited by stratkat at Jul 21, 2016,
#8
Quote by stratkat
Shit is annoying, I have no way to prove I'm not drunk,
go speeding with father in car

get stopped by cops (don't get shot)

ask for breathalyser test
Quote by EndTheRapture51
who pays five hundred fucking dollars for a burger
#9
Recently my friend who had shared his secret about the girl he likes came to me saying they'd had an argument and he couldn't focus and he was so upset and what to say to her. So I told him to let it go for a while and wait and see, then after a while she replied and he asked me what he should say, and I told him to keep his private stuff private but he was like, "I don't care, every bit of your advice has worked until now so what do I say," and so he'd read me her messages and I'd dictate the reply and it escalated to the point where he gave me his phone and I was messaging her pretending to be him.

But apparently I'm really good at this because they're OK with each other again and he was laughing like someone on marijuana and really getting up close in my face and saying he'd buy me Hardees as thanks. I did a bit of that, "Nah, I'm just glad to help," to be polite but he insisted.

Jerk still hasn't delivered on that Hardees promise.
#10
Would a speeding ticket violate your probation?

If no thats a great idea
One of the third friendliest users
Stratkat's pet


Quote by Momentosis
Void is a wanker that's why

#11
Quote by Banjocal
go speeding with father in car

get stopped by cops (don't get shot)

ask for breathalyser test

I've looked at home breathalyzer tests, but I don't want to spend the money, and don't trust them not to give a false positive.

A speeding ticket wouldn't violate probation, but if I drink within 48 hours of apiss test that would violate it.

If he gets serious about kicking me out, I'll just call the police station and ask if any of them have time to come give me a field sobriety test/breathalyzer.
Last edited by stratkat at Jul 21, 2016,
#12
Quote by Spinnerweb
Recently my friend who had shared his secret about the girl he likes came to me saying they'd had an argument and he couldn't focus and he was so upset and what to say to her. So I told him to let it go for a while and wait and see, then after a while she replied and he asked me what he should say, and I told him to keep his private stuff private but he was like, "I don't care, every bit of your advice has worked until now so what do I say," and so he'd read me her messages and I'd dictate the reply and it escalated to the point where he gave me his phone and I was messaging her pretending to be him.

But apparently I'm really good at this because they're OK with each other again and he was laughing like someone on marijuana and really getting up close in my face and saying he'd buy me Hardees as thanks. I did a bit of that, "Nah, I'm just glad to help," to be polite but he insisted.

Jerk still hasn't delivered on that Hardees promise.
I've done that a few times and I always think about how at this point I might as well be the one dating them.

Also love the avi what up
One of the third friendliest users
Stratkat's pet


Quote by Momentosis
Void is a wanker that's why

#13
Quote by FireFromTheVoid
I've done that a few times and I always think about how at this point I might as well be the one dating them.

Also love the avi what up
The girl is hawt but not that likeable, I just want my free food.

Ty ty yours is good too.
#14
I mean, I never wanted to be dating them either, that would just be weird, but in a few of those situations it seemed like they only weren't arguing if they weren't the ones actually talking to each other.

Maybe a few of those times she also had a friend doing it for them just to add to the shit show


Should get him to take you somewhere besides hardees though
One of the third friendliest users
Stratkat's pet


Quote by Momentosis
Void is a wanker that's why

#15
My life is so reclusive that I never have to deal with dumb stuff.

About the only dumb thing I have to deal with is dumb drivers. And this is Texas, so... lots.
Quote by snipelfritz
You lost me at "Lubricate."

I'm raw, like nature. Nature boy. Big jungle leaves are my cum rags.

Sometimes I fuck a bamboo shoot.


There's nothing left here to be saved
Just barreling dogs and barking trains
Another year lost to the blue line
#16
Quote by stratkat
As some of you might know, I quit drinking heavily every day


I quit drinking every morning and take it back up every afternoon.
I say that I quit every morning and take it right back up again everyone afternoon.
Lord knows that I can quit any day now, but I ain't quitting for good anytime soon.
There's no such thing; there never was. Where I am going you cannot follow me now.
#17
half the pricks at work. just general dumb shit.
Quote by element4433
One time I watched a dog lick his own dick for twenty minutes.

Quote by Roc8995
No.


Well, technically it could be done, but only in the same way that you could change a cat into a hamburger. It's an unpleasant process, and nobody is happy with the result.
#18
Quote by Banjocal
I paid an extra £25 for my camera because the Brexit cunts fucked up the Pound. I also paid a lot in import tax because like a pleb it didn't even cross my mind.

But still £25 I mean jesus fucking christ


I paid an extra £8 for my hotel which is why I forever hate kalypto and all other leave voters

longing rusted furnace daybreak seventeen benign nine homecoming one freight car
#19
Quote by FireFromTheVoid


Should get him to take you somewhere besides hardees though


But free soda is best perk D:
#20
Quote by FireFromTheVoid
Maybe a few of those times she also had a friend doing it for them just to add to the shit show

Just gonna jump in and say this would be a decent premise to a rom com (if there is such a thing) where a troubled couple gets their friends to converse for them and then the friends form a connection but dont act cause they both think theyre talking to their friends partner. Then in the end they discover who they were really talking to and it gets all sappy.
Quote by Mr E Meat
this is your brain

this is your brain on RT

Quote by Standard_A440
Given that you reside in the shade of the natural light of reason, I will defer doing your homework to you.
#21
My mother thinks that my choice to go into one of the most sparsely-filled, in-demand occupations, with a near guaranteed job at the end of my training will not give me the means to survive in the world, when I could literally not be in many better positions for this.

Seriously fuck her "life experience" compared to listening to someone with more experience in both my chosen occupation and life, and not to mention having a large amount of experience in her main occupation
A poem.
Quote by yoman297
no girl, movember isnt for you. shave your stache pls

I can out-bore you any day
#22
Quote by Gatecrasher53
Just gonna jump in and say this would be a decent premise to a rom com (if there is such a thing) where a troubled couple gets their friends to converse for them and then the friends form a connection but dont act cause they both think theyre talking to their friends partner. Then in the end they discover who they were really talking to and it gets all sappy.

I see potentialbut also the potential to easily be fucked up
A poem.
Quote by yoman297
no girl, movember isnt for you. shave your stache pls

I can out-bore you any day
#23
Reading Nero Galon's posts yesterday.
Quote by jakesmellspoo
ooh look at me i'm ERIKLENSHERR and i work at fancy pants desk jobs and wear ties and ply barely legal girls with weed and booze i'm such a classy motherfucker.
#24
Quote by Gatecrasher53
Just gonna jump in and say this would be a decent premise to a rom com (if there is such a thing) where a troubled couple gets their friends to converse for them and then the friends form a connection but dont act cause they both think theyre talking to their friends partner. Then in the end they discover who they were really talking to and it gets all sappy.


Similar but not identical to The Truth About Cats And Dogs.
My old signature was too long. Have a daisy.

#26
i have so many great rom com ideas

longing rusted furnace daybreak seventeen benign nine homecoming one freight car
#29
Update: I'm reading this other thread and this dumb shit is arguing about this other dumb shit who got banned on Twitter being a cool shit
Quote by EndTheRapture51
who pays five hundred fucking dollars for a burger
#30
Quote by ErikLensherr
Reading Nero Galon's posts yesterday.

Reading Nero Galon's posts today.
#32
Quote by ultimate-slash
and now I've got a bum bum.


Quote by EndTheRapture51
who pays five hundred fucking dollars for a burger
#33
Quote by MeGaDeth2314
I put my student loans into forbearance this month because I just moved and am low on money but they came out of my bank account anyway and overdrafted my bank account, so I had to borrow money from family and now it will be at least 10 days before I'm refunded.
was it sallie mae? i bet its fucking sallie mae.

every day for the past 3 months has been nothing but dumb shit for me.
mugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmug
#34
Quote by Spinnerweb
But free soda is best perk D:
The have like, the sloppiest food of all the fast food places though

at least around here anyway
One of the third friendliest users
Stratkat's pet


Quote by Momentosis
Void is a wanker that's why

#36
first time for everything mate
Quote by EndTheRapture51
who pays five hundred fucking dollars for a burger
#37
Last week I had to deal with a thread that asked what is some dumb stuff you've had to deal with lately
"A well-wound coil is a well-wound coil regardless if it's wound with professional equipment, or if somebody's great-grandmother winds it to an old French recipe with Napoleon's modified coffee grinder and chops off the wire after a mile with an antique guillotine!"
- Bill Lawrence

Come and be with me
Live my twisted dream
Pro devoted pledge
Time for primal concrete sledge

#38
I had to go to my insurance agent's office four times to get a declaration of renter's insurance sorted out because the apartment folks keep telling me they want certain info on it with a certain formatting, but it turns out that's not what they want.
Quote by JustRooster
That's a shamanic incantation of truth if I ever heard one.
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