#1
This song started with a joke idea when messing around on my guitar a few months back. I just started playing the riff during the "Breakdown" section, and I immediately thought to myself "Wow, this is really cliche and would be found in a typical metal-core song." On top of that, I added a general riff basis for the verse, and I can't remember where I even got the inspiration for it from.

Anywho, it wasn't until last week that I began to think of this idea again. Over the span of two days last week, I wrote the remainder of the song, re-arranged everything, came up with the vocal melody, and even wrote the lyrics to the chorus. The main line is "We can only go so far when hiding from the truth."

What I noticed is that this song is a bit different than the typical blues-rock stuff that I typically play, listen to, and write. The main influence from this song, especially the melody, comes from one of my favorite bands: The Birthday Massacre. I've also taken in numerous ideas throughout the years from many of the modern rock, pop/punk, and *insert term here*-core that I've heard alongside the Top 40s radio and classic rock.

I hope you guys enjoy it, and I am more than willing to do C4C for anyone here on the forum.
Attachments:
Hiding From the Truth (UG).gp5
Skip the username, call me Billy
Last edited by aerosmithfan95 at Feb 8, 2017,
#2
So, firstly, thanks for the crit on my piece!

The thing that jumped out at me immediately is how many times the verse-chorus-turn around structure is repeated. Three times with little variation is too much for me personally. This song in particular I think could do with a variant verse or two to mix things up. But hey, plenty of genres make do with repetition like this so that's totally up to you.

The main thing you could work on is switching up the verse melodies a bit. At the moment I'm not sure they work at all. Seem to stray off key perhaps too? If and when we repeat a verse in its entirety, Conor, the singer in my band, tends to throw in a different melody or phasing, to keep it from going stale.

I'm not keen on the breakdown either... but then again the metalcore breakdown has been done so many times I'm not sure anyone can make it unique again without straying too far out of genre.

Hope you don't think that was too harsh of me because overall this is pretty solid. It's just the verse's vocals that kill it for me.

Keep at it!
#3
Quote by Of_Wolves
So, firstly, thanks for the crit on my piece!

The thing that jumped out at me immediately is how many times the verse-chorus-turn around structure is repeated. Three times with little variation is too much for me personally. This song in particular I think could do with a variant verse or two to mix things up. But hey, plenty of genres make do with repetition like this so that's totally up to you.

The main thing you could work on is switching up the verse melodies a bit. At the moment I'm not sure they work at all. Seem to stray off key perhaps too? If and when we repeat a verse in its entirety, Conor, the singer in my band, tends to throw in a different melody or phasing, to keep it from going stale.

I'm not keen on the breakdown either... but then again the metalcore breakdown has been done so many times I'm not sure anyone can make it unique again without straying too far out of genre.

Hope you don't think that was too harsh of me because overall this is pretty solid. It's just the verse's vocals that kill it for me.

Keep at it!


Oh, not at all! I really appreciate it! I actually have been wanting to do some rearrangement of the structure of the song and do some work on it. I know that I have to go back into working at it since I've did everything in the span of 2 days (about 5 hours).

I completely agree with you on the verse melody not being completely suitable. I came up with a rough sketch, and it is far from the final version of it. I know that I'll work around with things I like from it as well as working to improve it. I'll keep in mind about changing a phrase here or there. I've thought about that, and love how Steve Vai worked around different phrasing with "For the Love of God" as an example. Now, the Chorus melody on the other hand, I really dig that, and it what made me want to do complete the song in the first place.

For the breakdown, I did that as a big joke on how overly cliche it is to the genre. Hell, I hardly listen to any metalcore what-so-ever, so they made my stereotype of breakdowns even more generic. What I was thinking was made introduce t as an 8-bar section before going into a 12-16 bar solo section.

I'll definitely get into reworking another variation on the verse as well as writing a better melody for it since that's on my agenda! I really appreciate the feedback!
Skip the username, call me Billy