#1
As of the past few months, the two guitarists in my band (that I'm currently drumming in) find it necisary to mock me on all levels related to guitar.

The vocalist and I are the founding members and keep trying to push them the direction we want to go. Every now and then I have to show them an example of what we want, which immediately results in being mocked for not being able to sweep, or not playing alt pick riffs non stop. Apparently I'm "too rhythmic and too sh*ty" of a guitar player, yet they are always swaying off the beat trying to outdo each other with nonsense noodling.

And then there is one of them who doesn't even have his own amp, and so uses mine and begins telling me I have horrible taste in tone, and that I need to buy a better amp. Then he proceeds to scoop the mids and dime the gain then tells me it's my fault he can't hear himself and starts the whole cycle over.
If I mention they aren't in time, they go off on my guitar playing. And I know my timing is better.

I have even been getting flak for my playing styles, gear choices, and even the color of my gear.

And in their eyes, even though I wrote most of the material, I'm just the drummer...
I've never been great with self esteem, and this is just fueling depression.

Any wisdom on how to deal with this from the UG community?
#3
I wish I could empathise but why are you still associating with these - assuming your version of events is legitimate - total idiots?
they're coming to take me away
ha-haaa
#4
Quote by EndTheRapture51
tell them to fuck off and start a shitty djent band with programmed drums if they wanna fuck about

Ha. If only I could. Unfortunatly we've been playing a string of gigs, and are playing tomorrow. Not enough time to get others.
#6
Looks like it's time to start using that backbone your body came stock with. They're not going to mature in a week's time, the best you can do is lose them or let them know you will not accept being disrespected.
Quote by EndTheRapture51
Anyway I have technically statutory raped #nice

Quote by EndThecRinge51
once a girl and i promised to never leave each other

since that promise was broken

i dont make promises any more
#7
Quote by Banjocal
I wish I could empathise but why are you still associating with these - assuming your version of events is legitimate - total idiots?

We had a tough time finding members. Its impossible to get a drummer for us, or I would be on guitar.
#8
Unless this is recent behavior, you should have shut it down a long time ago.

How to deal with people that belittle you? Don't.

It sounds harsh, but either stand up or shut up, there really isn't much else to be done.
“Ignorance more frequently begets confidence than does knowledge.”
Charles Darwin
#9
Quote by megano28
Looks like it's time to start using that backbone your body came stock with. They're not going to mature in a week's time, the best you can do is lose them or let them know you will not accept being disrespected.

I've always tried avoiding conflict. Perhaps after tomorrow's show I will lay it straight.
#10
kick them in the shins
Eat your pheasant
Drink your wine
Your days are numbered, bourgeois swine!
#11
Sounds like these douche bags gotta go man, like are ya the biggest pussy on earth or what? Christ man
#12
Quote by Liaztraht
We had a tough time finding members. Its impossible to get a drummer for us, or I would be on guitar.
Find a way around it. There are bands that are just two basses. There's a "grindcore" band with no guitarists.

Do you want a "different" band that potentially does something interesting due to limitations, or do you want a standard setup run by incompetents?

Don't try engaging with them. Don't try to explain the state of affairs. Remove them.
they're coming to take me away
ha-haaa
#13
Quote by Liaztraht
I've always tried avoiding conflict. Perhaps after tomorrow's show I will lay it straight.


You don't have to put your fists up and challenge them both at the same time.

It could be as simple as pulling them to the side and telling them you don't like nor will you tolerate being spoken to that way anymore. If they don't like it, they can buy their own amp and go join another band
Quote by EndTheRapture51
Anyway I have technically statutory raped #nice

Quote by EndThecRinge51
once a girl and i promised to never leave each other

since that promise was broken

i dont make promises any more
Last edited by megano28 at Jul 22, 2016,
#14
Quote by AvoidingBee7
Sounds like these douche bags gotta go man, like are ya the biggest pussy on earth or what? Christ man

If not for tomorrow's show, I would be kicking them out now. They used to be cool guys.
Vocalist and I have been discussing trying to find another drummer so I can hop back on guitar.
#16
Man. Hasn't been long since posting this, and already some encouraging words. Thanks guys.

I will start with telling them to stop with the threat of being kicked out. Put my back bone into it.
#17
Even then, start looking for at least one replacement guitarist to take over the responsibility of their duties. Guitarists are a dime a dozen while drummers are a bit more scarce. After your string of gigs, or tomorrow, just tell them that you aren't going to put up with their immature shit. If they want to criticize someone's gear, tell them to have their own first. Kick them to the curb and let them get their own band.
Skip the username, call me Billy
#18
Only person who can belittle you is yourself. Words are just words, you decide how they affect you.
My old signature was too long. Have a daisy.

#19
These are people who don't deserve to be in a band with musicians, that's my opinion. Being a good respectful/respectable person is a lot better than being a good sweep picker that is rude and ungrateful. Maybe you should tell them they're just all around shitty people?
#20
are they friendly with you otherwise?
Quote by archerygenious
Jesus Christ since when is the Pit a ****ing courtroom...

Like melodic, black, death, symphonic, and/or avant-garde metal? Want to collaborate? Message me!
#21
Leave them or ignore them. There's not much else you can do if you don't want to confront them.


I am not a fan of confrontation if I can deal with it on my own so I tend to choose the ignore option when this happens.
cat
Last edited by guitarxo at Jul 22, 2016,
#22
Quote by vIsIbleNoIsE
are they friendly with you otherwise?
Not as much as they used to be.
#23
next time they do it, tell 'em you're working on a song. start playing and sing somethin' like....kiss my ass you little bitcheeeees....you can't play worth a shiiiiiit, get your own fuckin' aaaaamp
#24
Quote by mattedbird
next time they do it, tell 'em you're working on a song. start playing and sing somethin' like....kiss my ass you little bitcheeeees....you can't play worth a shiiiiiit, get your own fuckin' aaaaamp

Ha. If only I could sing!
#25
if you don't want to get rid of them, i'd just say something like "i suck at guitar, big deal, i'm playing the drums here, get over it" or "well i wouldn't have to show you if you could write a decent song"

you know, stand up for yourself
Quote by archerygenious
Jesus Christ since when is the Pit a ****ing courtroom...

Like melodic, black, death, symphonic, and/or avant-garde metal? Want to collaborate? Message me!
#26
If you want to get petty revenge then find something you can do that they can't and mock them to hell with it lol. They might learn from it.
Dance in the moonlight my old friend twilight


Quote by metal4eva_22
What's this about ****ing corpses? My UG senses were tingling.
#27
How can someone's playing be "Too rhythmic?"

But yeah, words only hurt if you let them. If they want to act like 12 year olds, then treat them like that. Go looking for another guitarist or two if they do quit.

Also, make sure you get the other band founder on side with you before doing anything. If he doesn't support you, it'll just end up with loads of in-fighting.

EDIT: Also, they're really unprofessional if they expect you as the writer to have fully written every nuance of their musical ability into your ideas. They have their own skillsets for a reason. For example, you lay down a chord progression or solo idea, a professional musician will be like "Ok cool, I like the idea, but what if we try this technique?" or will use their own skill as a musician to build on ideas.
Come back if you want to
And remember who you are
‘Cause there's nothing here for you my dear
And everything must pass
Last edited by i_lovemetallica at Jul 22, 2016,
#28
i_lovemetallica

Well, most guitarists can hardly play quarter notes in time, let alone anything else. It's just envy.
Skip the username, call me Billy
#29
You brought it upon yourself hanging out with douchebags. Tell them to kick rocks. Problems solved.
#30
Quote by aerosmithfan95
i_lovemetallica

Well, most guitarists can hardly play quarter notes in time, let alone anything else. It's just envy.
Biggest thing I got from drumming was how to play in time.
I personally believe a solid, in time rhythm is far superior to a half assed high speed noodle. I have nothing against solos or sweeps, but poor execution is just that.
#31
guitarists are a dime a dozen, everyone's always looking for drummers, so you hold all the cards, really, just kick them out of the band.
#32
Quote by Liaztraht
Biggest thing I got from drumming was how to play in time.
I personally believe a solid, in time rhythm is far superior to a half assed high speed noodle. I have nothing against solos or sweeps, but poor execution is just that.


That's what it is: most guitarists can hardly play anything in time, regardless of speed. What I work on most is being able to get my timing down on everything I play. My teacher also instills "You should be focused on bar line to bar line at all times; knowing exactly where everything you play falls is crucial."
Skip the username, call me Billy
#33
I like how the bass guitarist seems to be staying silent in all of this :P
You'll have to finish your current set of gigs so grin and bear it until then. After that, tell them that they're not irreplaceable if they won't get their heads out of their asses. Most importantly, talk to the vocalist and get him to back you up. This might make it into 'us vs them' factions but it's better than the vpcalist being left clueless.
Whenever they belittle you over guitar and tone, tell them, "no, that's YOUR job, isn't it." Don't give them free rein to act like playground bullies. Good luck.
#34
Quote by Spinnerweb
I like how the bass guitarist seems to be staying silent in all of this :P
You'll have to finish your current set of gigs so grin and bear it until then. After that, tell them that they're not irreplaceable if they won't get their heads out of their asses. Most importantly, talk to the vocalist and get him to back you up. This might make it into 'us vs them' factions but it's better than the vpcalist being left clueless.
Whenever they belittle you over guitar and tone, tell them, "no, that's YOUR job, isn't it." Don't give them free rein to act like playground bullies. Good luck.

We just got the bassist haha. Trained him with scratch tracks.