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#1
HATE when ppl say u'll lose pals if u spend loads of time wi ur bf/gf?If ur pals turn their back on u when ur happy then u need new ones


What do you think of this statement?

Is there a minimum level of committment you expect from your friends when they are in relationships or are you just cool with not seeing people if they're happier seeing other people

longing rusted furnace daybreak seventeen benign nine homecoming one freight car
#2
Depends on the person tbh
Some of them are really shit at being in relationships and hang with me anyway and I usually take pity on the other person and tell them to spend time with them
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#4
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#5
friends who ditch friends for relationships can get fucked imo
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#6
Just let them do what they want.
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#8
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#9
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people who don't make time to see me when they're in relationships are no longer friends

longing rusted furnace daybreak seventeen benign nine homecoming one freight car
Last edited by EndTheRapture51 at Jul 24, 2016,
#10
If someone is truly your friend then being in a relationship won't stop you from seeing them. You could see your bf/gf 6 days out of 7 and leave one day free for your mates quite easily, for example.

Bonus story: I had a mate who used to be out down the pub every week, then he got a girlfriend and never went out ever again. Another mate who used to go out every week said he'd never be like that guy. Then he got a gf and hasn't been out since.
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#11
I think it is important to make time for your friends.
But also damn how clingy are you that you are gonna flip your wig if your friend can't go to the bar with you on Friday night or something?

I don't know, I've never really felt like a friend was blowing me off or ignoring me, maybe I have good friends, but I am also totally chill with not talking to people for weeks at a time -- like, I'm not gonna flip out & think they don't like me anymore.
#12
I have 4 close friends two are in relationships the other two are not and tbh I see the two in the relationships more
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#13
In the early days of a sexual relationship when the chemicals are running free, people do make their allegiances clear. When the monotony of a dedicated relationship sets in people begin to make friends again.

If anything it's the fault of the friendzoned (lel) friend for being surprised that someone you dick is usually more important than someone you occasionally chat with.
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#14
Quote by Banjocal
In the early days of a sexual relationship when the chemicals are running free, people do make their allegiances clear. When the monotony of a dedicated relationship sets in people begin to make friends again.

If anything it's the fault of the friendzoned (lel) friend for being surprised that someone you dick is usually more important than someone you occasionally chat with.


but when it doesn't

longing rusted furnace daybreak seventeen benign nine homecoming one freight car
#15
those sorts of relationships are quite rare. Not Mew rare but definitely like Snorlax rare or something. like if you met them and made friends you'd be using a platonic ultra ball

eventually one of them will die? I guess? then they can go to a help group or something
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Last edited by Banjocal at Jul 24, 2016,
#16
what kind of relationships banj i am confuse

longing rusted furnace daybreak seventeen benign nine homecoming one freight car
#17
Ones where a couple don't get bored of the monotony and go for social outings.
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#18
If they talk/type like that are they qualified to be friends when they're clearly incredibly stupid?

The thing is, all this talk is all very well and good but at some point doesn't the vast majority of people just end up going home night after night to the same person and rarely go out once work and family is in full swing? That's kind of what spending the rest of your (average) life is about when you're with someone long term.

Some people handle it better and still socialize as couples, but that often means bringing together two different social circles - and I imagine everyone can understand how that can be taxing at times.

Who would you rather spend time with? People who make you guilty for having another person in your life, or someone who's just happy to have you there? Kinda easy from there
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Last edited by Anthony1991 at Jul 24, 2016,
#19
I personally don't care what my friends do as long as they are happy and I hope they would feel the same. I've had most of my friends for 10+ years now so things have been a bit boring lately when we hang out. I think it's actually beneficial for us to only see each other once a month or so instead of forcing each other to hang out every weekend.
#21
Quote by Banjocal
those sorts of relationships are quite rare. Not Mew rare but definitely like Snorlax rare or something. like if you met them and made friends you'd be using a platonic ultra ball

eventually one of them will die? I guess? then they can go to a help group or something

I used a master ball on Snorlax
#22
Forcing people who don't want to be around you to be around you is the worst. If a friendship dissipates temporarily because of a relationship, then fuck it.

Interesting to see all these different opinions tho
#23
For me a good friend will make time regardless of their relationship status. I don't expect to see my friends ever day of the week but seeing them and being made time for at least for a few hours every month is acceptable for me, in addition to normal communication via texting and social media. And I'd do the same for my friends. In the end relationships aren't endless and those long term friends are just as important if not more so.

As someone who is more often single than not though maybe have a skewed perspective of things. My close friends are as important as whoever I am seeing though so time should be split appropriately.

Relationships and friendships are like plants. Some are cacti which don't require a lot of water, others roses which require a lot more care. In the end they always need watering though so it's important to make an effort if you don't want them to die.

longing rusted furnace daybreak seventeen benign nine homecoming one freight car
#24
EndTheRapture51 please go on a date with me. I'll pay yer way to come to Canada, unless yer Canadian. But Ill take care of it, don't worry. On our dream date I'll have 2 moose pulling a stage coach n well go on a romantic ride up the woods. And we can listen to all the Brand new and ADTR all you want. Hell I'll even join a band like that just for you
#25
That sounds great if ur a cute girl with a nose ring hmu

longing rusted furnace daybreak seventeen benign nine homecoming one freight car
#28
My two best friends both started relationships in the last year and now I never see them
___

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she was saying things like... do you want to netflix and chill but just the chill part...too bad she'll never know that I only like the Netflix part...
#29
I live wi mi bf/gf (ie, spend the majority of my time with her) and have friends so.. no
#30
I very rarely see or speak to friends regardless of if they're in a relationship or not.

Mostly because my friends are closer to other friends, sometimes mutual and I don't get invited to many things.

So I would say the best combination was when me and one friend lost contact with some old friends so it was basically just the two of us that were each other's friend so I'd always be the guy he'd go to to spend time with since he didn't have anyone else, But a couple of years ago I got in contact with those old friends and he spends more time with them than me now,
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#31
Quote by WCPhils
My two best friends both started relationships in the last year and now I never see them

Same here. Any time one of my friends gets in a relationship I'll almost never see them. If I do see them they bring their gf/bf with them and then leave after like an hour.

I'd do the same if I had a gf cause I have no single friends who do things anymore lol
#32
having friends is a great way to find someone. after you do, you don't really need the friends as much.

it also might explain why friendships last longer.........how can I miss you if you wont go away?
#33
Quote by DukeDeRox
If I do see them they bring their gf/bf with them and then leave after like an hour.


I have no problems with this.

I have a friend who forgets about all his friends when he's in a relationship....The type of person who says we should all go see Captain America Civil and then 1 week before buys the tickets to the movie without telling anyone and goes with his gf only even after one of our friends asked him about his plans.
#34
Quote by DukeDeRox
Same here. Any time one of my friends gets in a relationship I'll almost never see them. If I do see them they bring their gf/bf with them and then leave after like an hour.

I'd do the same if I had a gf cause I have no single friends who do things anymore lol
Yea, it's not like I'm gonna say anything to them because they're happy and that's nice, and honestly I'd probably be doing the same
___

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she was saying things like... do you want to netflix and chill but just the chill part...too bad she'll never know that I only like the Netflix part...
#35
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I have no problems with this.

I have a friend who forgets about all his friends when he's in a relationship....The type of person who says we should all go see Captain America Civil and then 1 week before buys the tickets to the movie without telling anyone and goes with his gf only even after one of our friends asked him about his plans.
oh yeah, i have no problem with anyone bringing their bf/gf.
#36
I would rather spend time with my bf than anyone else so I really have to make an effort to see anyone else.
cat
#37
Quote by EndTheRapture51
What do you think of this statement?

Is there a minimum level of committment you expect from your friends when they are in relationships or are you just cool with not seeing people if they're happier seeing other people


My best friends are people that I could speak with daily or not speak with for months just the same. I don't like relationships that require a minimum amount of attention. Besides, if you had a choice of hanging out with someone who would give you a blowjob versus someone who wouldn't, I think we'd all make the obvious choice.
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#38
There are healthy and unhealthy relationships, and it's harder to see a relationship for one or the other when enamored with the other person.

Having said that, I wouldn't mind spending time with both, together and separately.

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#39
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EndTheRapture51 damn....well I can always go full Bruce Jenner

Since yr good at avoiding maybe try avoiding this website.

I never had an issue with this with my best friend. Other friends would just disappear as soon as they got in a relationship, but didn't really care.
#40
I think when you get a bf/gf, the quality of friend's friendship lowers some, depending on how often you hang out and how much you do together. But despite that, it's still very manageable.

Put it bluntly, it holds some truth. If they complain you don't spend enough time with them, it's probably because they don't know how to manage their own without using you. They expect you to manage your friendship based on their expectations rather than by a mutual relationship, which, again, is easily manageable. But if they aren't willing to lower their expectations, it was probably never destined to last.

The best you could ask for from a friend in that situation is to either maintain the friendship to a lesser degree or for them to be happy for you and let you move on in life.
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