Page 1 of 2
#1
I had somehow managed to get accepted onto an A Level Graphics course. I shouldn't have been there. Because Graphics was an art course, I should have achieved at least a C @ GCSE Art. Well... I never even did art at GCSE level. When I did art in classes pre-GCSE I was always the lost cause too. Its something i've always wanted to be able to do yet no matter what I try I can't produce anything of even a smidge of quality.

Anyways, there I am in this A LEVEL Art/Graphics class. I was aware everyone else had earned their spot on the course, I tried not to let it get to me. I thought that i'd be safe because most of the course would have been on computer/CAD/Photoshops etc.

So... First day. Oh boy. We're handed A3 pieces of paper (at that point I didn't even know there was names for different sizes of paper). We were expected to have our own equipment. I take out a pencil. On the table is a scenario we have to draw. Just a bunch of shit like a skateboard with an apple on it or whatever. At this point I was already defeated and was waiting for the humiliation as I witness everyone else around me in the class drawing the scenario getting quick and great quality results.

The teacher walks across the room admiring everyones work, talking about some hipster arty shit about what must have influenced their work etc. as they do. He hovers over my monstrosity. He doesn't compliment it. He instead looks at my pencil that I am using and has a fucking fit. He flips out because i'm using a HB pencil or something. Apparently I should have been using some other different type of pencil. He also notices my shading technique when he sees my fingertips. I smudge the lead across the paper. Apparently this is not how you do it and he grabs my monstrosity to show to everyone else that what i'd done was not how to do it.

At this point I explain to him that I had no previous experience with art and drawing and that I thought the class would be computer orientated and that I would understand if he told me to get out of his class. I got sent to his higher up and was told that they don't know how I was allowed to be on the course and that they currently have enrolled too many students in the class already and that unless enough people drop out I will be removed, and that if I don't attend to a satisfactory level then I will also be removed.


If you're interested in how things went then read on here.

Enough people voluntarily dropped out and I had 100% attendance. Somehow I managed to bullshit my way through all interactions with the teachers (there were bloody three of them!) I don't feel like I learnt a thing about graphic design from the teachers other than from my own mistakes. For my final project piece I had to print out a logo for a company I had made. All of my work was made in Photoshop. Apparently PS is awful for logos because it doesn't vector, so all my work was pixelated. Anyways, at the end of the year I got back my results and it said I got an A with 100/100 marks. I was in disbelief. And rightly so as I received a letter days later saying they keyed in my results wrong and what I actually got was a C. I was still suspicious, but somehow I passed!


Here's some original art work.



Shit... Forgot to sign it. Oh well.
Dance in the moonlight my old friend twilight


Quote by metal4eva_22
What's this about ****ing corpses? My UG senses were tingling.
#2
Every conscious day
Quote by Trowzaa
I wish I was American.

~ A Rolling Potato Gathers No Moss ~
#3
Mines kind of similar to yours.

I got accepted on a full scholarship to a psychology degree. My A Levels were English Literature, Psychology, Sociology and General Studies (lol).

When I got my course timetable, it was nearly completely maths and biology with 2 hours of psychology a week. Turns out the course expects everyone to have A Levels in Maths, Further Maths and Biology. I can barely add up and didn't have a clue what the fuck anyone was talking about.

I think I lasted another month after that before quitting
Last edited by Mistress_Ibanez at Aug 16, 2016,
#4
That teacher sounds like a knob. Glad you made it through the class and stuck it to them by passing.


My moment was my first audition for jazz ensembles at college. The professors picked 4 or 5 random students from the entire major area and put them in an ensemble and chose one person from the ensemble to decide what tune they were going to play. I got put into an ensemble with guys who were WAY beyond my skill level, and they must have sensed it because they chose me to pick the tune, of which I only knew about 3 from memory. I called it, and then I forgot how to play the melody. They stopped us and I was like, "Uhh...I forgot how the melody goes." then they just had me play a solo over the chords.
#6
Quote by MeGaDeth2314
That teacher sounds like a knob. Glad you made it through the class and stuck it to them by passing.


My moment was my first audition for jazz ensembles at college. The professors picked 4 or 5 random students from the entire major area and put them in an ensemble and chose one person from the ensemble to decide what tune they were going to play. I got put into an ensemble with guys who were WAY beyond my skill level, and they must have sensed it because they chose me to pick the tune, of which I only knew about 3 from memory. I called it, and then I forgot how to play the melody. They stopped us and I was like, "Uhh...I forgot how the melody goes." then they just had me play a solo over the chords.


it's fucking jazz you just play random notes how hard is that
There's no such thing; there never was. Where I am going you cannot follow me now.
#7
Quote by MeGaDeth2314
That teacher sounds like a knob. Glad you made it through the class and stuck it to them by passing.


He was hilarious actually. He was this really tall lanky super eccentric middle aged guy who had a lot of phrases he'd use too often. He was extremely passionate, over passionate some would say. He was an absolute comical character. Almost too good to be real type. We had a lot of fun when he was teaching us.
Dance in the moonlight my old friend twilight


Quote by metal4eva_22
What's this about ****ing corpses? My UG senses were tingling.
#8
one of the summers i interned at a pharmaceutical advertising agency they were so busy with projects that were well into the production and implementation process that they had me answering the main line and forward calls a lot of the time.

i never quite figured out how to do it and accidentally hung up on people most of the time.
mugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmug
#10
In high school I finished one year of the Graphics subject with really low marks. But I knew that a 2B or 4B pencil is what you should use and not an HB lol.

Once went to a party that my flatmate knew about so I invited my friends, we're all about late 20's early 30's. My flatmate was 18 and so was everyone else at the party. It was like being surrounded by kids.
#11
To this day I don't think I've ever seen a non HB pencil. What are HB pencils even for if not for drawing?

I was also invited to a social gathering by a friend who was hosting at his place. I had other friends that said they'd come but didn't show. Basically it was me, my friend, his male housemate and then like 12 girls, two of which I knew a little bit through being in the same class and knowing her ex boyfriend, Everyone knew each other and we're having fun with drinking games. Then there is me with my bottle of water not knowing how the fuck to play never have I ever, where these girls are going full on hardcore with weird sexual shit, and then I dampen the mood by saying something morbid like never have I ever been to funeral lmao.

That night I had invited a girl I liked to come too because I was expecting it to be different, like every other time she ignored the invite though. Am very glad tbh because am pretty sure she would have also hated it. She dodged a bullet haha.
Dance in the moonlight my old friend twilight


Quote by metal4eva_22
What's this about ****ing corpses? My UG senses were tingling.
#12
Quote by Nero Galon
To this day I don't think I've ever seen a non HB pencil. What are HB pencils even for if not for drawing?


HB pencils are thick. If you're having to draw lines it is not good for that. That's as deep as I know on the subject.
#13
"Fish-out-of-water story"

More like FISH TALE, amiright???????


I'll leave.
Quote by SGstriker
If KFC is finger-licking good, then people would probably suck dicks for Popeyes. That's how good it is.


There's nothing left here to be saved
Just barreling dogs and barking trains
Another year lost to the blue line
#14
I was looking for a girlfriend, but wasnt having much luck so i thought why not go down the friends with benefits route at least for the meantime. So i met this nice girl, she turned out to be bi and ended up with her and another female. She basically took over and the female was amazed. I felt like a bit of a twat getting inbetween. Anyway i contributed but felt like a cuckold lol.
#15
Because of state funding, I got into A-level chemistry and biology. Because I went to a different kind of high school I had far fewer GCSEs and a poor memory and life problems I didn't have enough qualifications to get on the courses. I struggled mathematically but could apply ideas reasonably well - as a result I got everything from As to Ds in my (human) biology course. Levelling out at a C. Kind of a shame - if I had what I have now I'd have gotten Bs and As. In the end I scraped HB and dropped chemistry, which is pretty good considering I was sectioned half way through the year.

I guess the other one is that I'm pretty sexless, so I miss out on a lot of underlying cues from interested females. As a result my interactions with women are usually - to me - bemusing and quite sudden 'woah what the fuck has gotten into her?' type scenarios. I just roll with them and hope my skills make up for my inadequacies.
Quote by EndTheRapture51
who pays five hundred fucking dollars for a burger
Last edited by Banjocal at Aug 17, 2016,
#16
Every time I've been on a date with a qt I consider to be out of my league, which is all of them.
Come back if you want to
And remember who you are
‘Cause there's nothing here for you my dear
And everything must pass
#19
Similar story to you but I wouldn't describe it as "fish out of water" because I did quite well on my course.

Finished my A-Levels with a D, E and E. That totalled 160 UCAS points, and I needed 240 to be accepted onto my chosen university course.

Inexplicably, I was accepted anyway. Four years later I had a Masters.
#20
that time i went and bought a chris squire 8track
#21
Quote by Nero Galon
To this day I don't think I've ever seen a non HB pencil. What are HB pencils even for if not for drawing?


Generally, an HB grade about the middle of the scale is usually considered to be a general purpose pencil for writing and schoolwork etc.

Drawing pencils are graded by hardness of the lead which is altered by a combination of graphite and filler.

"A well-wound coil is a well-wound coil regardless if it's wound with professional equipment, or if somebody's great-grandmother winds it to an old French recipe with Napoleon's modified coffee grinder and chops off the wire after a mile with an antique guillotine!"
- Bill Lawrence

Come and be with me
Live my twisted dream
Pro devoted pledge
Time for primal concrete sledge

Last edited by Evilnine at Aug 17, 2016,
#22
I was on tour this summer with a band I'm in and we did a lot of radio and tv interviews, which none of us had done before. That's probably the best story I can come up with, and most of these were community radio so there was less pressure.
You are now using UG Black.
You are now using UG Classic.


Listening to: New York Voices, as well as the new Vulfpeck record (fuck it's so good)


You throw like a girl. A girl who is great at baseball and has a fiery passion for the sport.
#23
never academically, but in middle school I made A team basketball and somehow time qualified for a lot of track meets, and I wasn't tall enough nor skilled enough to do much good on the playing field. I was easily one of the teams average players, but it was a fun experience to say the least. If i could do it over i would've asked my coach to put me on B or even C team where i could actually excel as a defense player.
Quote by jrcsgtpeppers
There shall be a stop to this madness. The battle is not over. My tasty licks aren't going anywhere.

Quote by The_Blode
^ I've just realised if you say Simple Plan's 2011 effort "Get Your Heart On!" really fast in a Southern American accent, it sounds gross. . .like sexual gross!

Quote by Necroheadbanger
Hello.
I'm looking for professional bongo-ists and triangle-ists to make a Progressive Technical Brutal Death Metal band
(will be called AxOxJxLxAxIxVxXxUxWxZxQxUxRxWxGxJxSxAxLxKxMxNxHxUxGxAxAxWxVxCxBxZxVx)
(Don't even ask what it means)


https://soundcloud.com/95dank



Last edited by k.lainad at Oct 6, 2016,
#24
I'm a normal, well-adjusted adult who has a good job, a girlfriend, a social circle, showers daily, and can hold a conversation with a stranger.

I once went to an Animals as Leaders show
PM me for newts
#26
Quote by StewieSwan
I'm a normal, well-adjusted adult who has a good job, a girlfriend, a social circle, showers daily, and can hold a conversation with a stranger.

I once went to an Animals as Leaders show


are you also the Emperor of France and a cousin of the Pope lol
There's no such thing; there never was. Where I am going you cannot follow me now.
#27
I once caught a fish and pulled it out of the water.

True story.
Quote by Diemon Dave
Don't go ninjerin nobody don't need ninjerin'
#29
It wasn't so much 'fish out of water' for me but 'fish out of water' for my teacher.

When I attended my first year of A-Levels, I have enrolled on the school's IT course, whom one of the GSCE teachers had been promoted to a manager. Well, we sat down every day in front of our computers and for some reason we were assigned to request leaflets from estate agencies. I was like wtf and then we showed our statistics by logging them in excel. Seemed very pointless and ungodly boring, but meh, we were using computers at least to some extent. So I just accepted the class for what it was and got on with it.

Well, my parents got to interview my teacher and she said I was doing absolutely fine and that I was a very good student who was cooperative and got good grades with my assignments. So my parents patted me on the back and thanked my teacher for the kind words.

Well, 4 months later, we were sat in the exam room and were given 90 minutes. I opened the exam to the first page and was completely bewildered at what the fuck I was looking at. I was being asked questions to things I had absolutely no idea about.

I failed the exam miserably, which lead to me miserably failing my A-level for that course. I was furious, as was my parents. Who initially assumed that I had been lazy and not done my work properly.

Well it turned out, I was one of just about everybody who failed that course. Everybody agreed that something cannot be right about the grades we were given or the nature of the exam. So we collectively appealed against the school.

A short time after we made the appeal and senior managers investigated the issue, it quickly became apparent to them that our teacher had given us entirely the wrong syllabus to learn from. We were being taught a class in business studies instead of IT!

The teacher was fired from the school forever.and I ended up wasting an entire year of my life (as did everyone else there) and the school's reputation was completely destroyed. It's still being perceived as an atrocious school now, even when this all happened 10 years ago. Word got out about the scandal that was later passed from generation to generation of new A level students, and parents dodged the school like the plague.

All I got in return for her incompetence? a letter of apology.
Roses are red
Violets are blue
Omae wa mou
Shindeiru



Quote by Axelfox
Reeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
Last edited by T00DEEPBLUE at Oct 6, 2016,
#30
There is nothing wrong with an hb pencil. I have a degree in fine art. I can tell you that art school is 90 percent bs and 10 percent drawing whatever the teacher likes. Hb pencils come in every art set. They are the middle pencil between various b and h numbers. Similar to a standard number 2. If you had sufficient bs skills you would have told that knob that every sketch starts with a hb and then gets refined with various lights and darks to achieve a tonal harmony and only after a sufficient contrast and texture would you begin to use the smudge stick( which cost a buck fifty and is literally a rolled up peice of paper). However the smudging and blending you did while sketching lays down a foundation for further marks latter on because the tooth of the paper must become saturated with graphite in order to attain the proper gradation later on. Art is stupid. Meanwhile a guy gets in a textbook for literally pissing in a bottle and taking a picture of it.
Last edited by geo-rage at Oct 6, 2016,
#31
This is more of an unsmooth story than a fish out of water story but the guys name was uncle catfish. He was some kind of unrelated uncle i was supposed to meet at my gf's family get-together. I said to my gf when does your uncle....whats his name trout-fish, get here? She thought that was so funny that when he first walked in she said meet my bf, what did you call him? He called you trout-fish!
#33
Crushing self doubt.
Dance in the moonlight my old friend twilight


Quote by metal4eva_22
What's this about ****ing corpses? My UG senses were tingling.
#36
Quote by Nero Galon
To this day I don't think I've ever seen a non HB pencil. What are HB pencils even for if not for drawing?

I was also invited to a social gathering by a friend who was hosting at his place. I had other friends that said they'd come but didn't show. Basically it was me, my friend, his male housemate and then like 12 girls, two of which I knew a little bit through being in the same class and knowing her ex boyfriend, Everyone knew each other and we're having fun with drinking games. Then there is me with my bottle of water not knowing how the fuck to play never have I ever, where these girls are going full on hardcore with weird sexual shit, and then I dampen the mood by saying something morbid like never have I ever been to funeral lmao.

That night I had invited a girl I liked to come too because I was expecting it to be different, like every other time she ignored the invite though. Am very glad tbh because am pretty sure she would have also hated it. She dodged a bullet haha.

Jesus this is fuckin weird dude.

Can't really think of a fish out of water story. I mean, there's always the new job, new city shit, but I adjust to that pretty quickly. I took a class this quarter that it turns out I didn't have the maths background for so I dropped it and took a difference course.
#37
Quote by TheChaz
Jesus this is fuckin weird dude.

Can't really think of a fish out of water story. I mean, there's always the new job, new city shit, but I adjust to that pretty quickly. I took a class this quarter that it turns out I didn't have the maths background for so I dropped it and took a difference course.


You could regale us about all those hookers you slaughtered to get rid of the stress of adjusting to city life. It's cool, we've all been there.
#38
Quote by eGraham
Every conscious day

this tbh fam smh
I like St. Anger. Ridicule me, daddy

Quote by ErikLensherr

REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
#39
I always felt like an odd person out when I was in teacher's college because most of the other student teachers grew up middle class. I would talk about my working class background and a lot of them couldn't relate, one of the few that could though was originally from Mexico and in a class discussion he was almost in tears because he was happy that he could relate to someone growing up poor. So I wasn't totally alone there I guess. I definitely felt like an odd one out though because I have a more crass personality than most of them did, with the exception of the physical education and some of the art education majors.
Quote by beadhangingOne
What happened to Snake?

Snake?

Snake?

SNAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAKE?!


Quote by TunerAddict
you can take my mouse and keyboard from my cold, slightly orange from cheetos, dead fingers


Quote by Baby Joel
Isis is amazing
Page 1 of 2