Poll: Which one are you?
Poll Options
View poll results: Which one are you?
I am more of a Softboy
5 25%
I am not a boy at all
13 65%
I am more of a Fuckboy
2 10%
Voters: 20.
Page 1 of 3
#1


The Fuckboy, in his current form, aims for the night, aims for the break, goals to ghost. The Softboy strings you along under loftier auspices. He is Nice yet Complicated; this isn’t just a hookup. It’s a series of such.

The Softboy did not talk to you at the party, but he’s adding you on Facebook while you’re on the train home. Soon, he wants to know if you’d “like to get drinks.”

“Or something.”

He discusses his ex-girlfriend within the first thirty minutes of the date. He talks about her in a sad, wistful way rather than a snarky, resentful way. The older Softboy will say, “Oh well, it’s in the past.” The younger Softboy will say, “So it goes.”

The Softboy may be named Tom. Or Phillip.

The Softboy wears a plain t-shirt or sweater and orders cheap beer backed with bottom-shelf whiskey. He is neither Bro nor Nerd. He is sensitive yet amusingly crass. He doesn’t want you to know he has feelings. He wants you to know that he has feelings and he is completely okay with that.

The Fuckboy is perplexed that you were upset when he forgot to text you for three days then sent “what are you up to” at last call. The Softboy knows this behavior is selfish and cruel, though his desire to get laid can trump this. He feels shame. He does it again.

He wants to know if you’re mad at him. He already knows.

The Softboy doesn’t want to talk to you about The Wire. He concedes that it is “objectively good television” yet “ultimately problematic” and “undeserving of its lionization.” Obviously, he is an Ally.
He has some art to show you.

The Softboy does not necessarily have a soft body. In fact he is often wiry and angular.

However: the heavier the Softboy, the thicker the beard.

He is emotionally intelligent but does nothing with this knowledge. He is artistic. He is aware. He is still a dick.

The Softboy sends you songs via Gchat while you’re at work.

He hasn’t texted you back for a reason; he was not blowing you off. He’s had a Weird Day. Or maybe he’s Trying To Figure Some Shit Out. Sometimes, he finds pride in declaring that he Just Needs A Night To Himself.

The Softboy is an Underdog. He has a hurricane sulk.

He resurfaces seconds before the final ember extinguishes.

The Softboy wields guilt like a floral knife.


https://byrslf.co/have-you-encountered-the-softboy-7e95e2c7f3e7#.6fird79vl

Are you a softboy or a fuckboy?
#2
It feels like you're just making this shit up at this point.
#3
Fuckboi life


#cucknation


#doubledabbing
Quote by zgr0826
My culture is worthless and absolutely inferior to the almighty Leaf.


Quote by JustRooster
I incurred the wrath of the Association of White Knights. Specifically the Parent's Basement branch of service.
#4
"He has some art to show you."

"He is emotionally intelligent but does nothing with this knowledge. He is artistic. He is aware. He is still a dick."

"The Softboy is an Underdog. He has a hurricane sulk."

"The Softboy wears a plain t-shirt or sweater and orders cheap beer backed with bottom-shelf whiskey"


Well, fuck. I guess I'm a Softboy.
#6
Quote by MeGaDeth2314
"He has some art to show you."

"He is emotionally intelligent but does nothing with this knowledge. He is artistic. He is aware. He is still a dick."

"The Softboy is an Underdog. He has a hurricane sulk."

"The Softboy wears a plain t-shirt or sweater and orders cheap beer backed with bottom-shelf whiskey"


Well, fuck. I guess I'm a Softboy.


I feel like all of those things would fall under the category "things ETR thinks he is but really isnt"
Quote by zgr0826
My culture is worthless and absolutely inferior to the almighty Leaf.


Quote by JustRooster
I incurred the wrath of the Association of White Knights. Specifically the Parent's Basement branch of service.
#8
RT though if you legit start talking about your ex-GF within the first 4 months of knowing you I'll prolly think you're pathetic.
Quote by zgr0826
My culture is worthless and absolutely inferior to the almighty Leaf.


Quote by JustRooster
I incurred the wrath of the Association of White Knights. Specifically the Parent's Basement branch of service.
#10
Quote by MeTallIcA313
It feels like you're just making this shit up at this point.
He's actually making threads to make IQ go up to 10,000 by the end of the year. But hey, whatever floats your boat. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

I couldn't get through the end of it nor could I determine which "boy" defines me more so I'll let you decide that for me.
There's nothing left here to be saved
Just barreling dogs and barking trains
Another year lost to the blue line
#11
it's vague enough for me to relate

it's vague enough for most to
(\__/)
(='.'=) This is Bunny. Copy and paste Bunny into your
( )_( ) signature to help him gain World Domination



Do you remember chalk hearts melting on a playground wall
Do you remember dawn escapes from moon washed college halls
Do you remember the cherry blossom in the market square
Do you remember I thought it was confetti in our hair
#12
Quote by Joshua Garcia
He's actually making threads to make IQ go up to 10,000 by the end of the year. But hey, whatever floats your boat. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

I couldn't get through the end of it nor could I determine which "boy" defines me more so I'll let you decide that for me.


I'm not really you tit Josh
Last edited by EndTheRapture51 at Aug 17, 2016,
#13
Quote by Joshua Garcia
He's actually making threads to make IQ go up to 10,000 by the end of the year. But hey, whatever floats your boat. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

I couldn't get through the end of it nor could I determine which "boy" defines me more so I'll let you decide that for me.


None of them tbh.


Well unless whiner boi is an option.


Quote by EndTheRapture51
I'm not really you tit Josh


lies
Quote by zgr0826
My culture is worthless and absolutely inferior to the almighty Leaf.


Quote by JustRooster
I incurred the wrath of the Association of White Knights. Specifically the Parent's Basement branch of service.
Last edited by H4T3BR33D3R at Aug 17, 2016,
#14
I like to imagine that whenever you make these threads, you're in the middle of an existential crisis. Like you read that article last night and laughed it off. Then that night, you have a vivid nightmare about softboys. You wake up in a cold sweat, breathing heavy. "Oh god," You mutter to yourself. "What if...am I a softboy? What if...can I continue being me if I'm not a fuckboy?" You spend the next few hours staring at the roof, thinking about how this changes everything. Still unsure, you make this thread, hoping to find some sort of form of reaffirmation from UG. Your brow is soaked with sweat as you type the poll out, still not sure what response you'll get, or even what response you want, but you do it anyway.

This is the exact same situation that unfolds for every thread. Brogressivism, flossing, eating by yourself, all of these things have caused you to question your very nature,
THE FORUM UPDATE KILLED THE GRADIENT STAR

Baltimore Orioles: 2014 AL Eastern Division Champions, 2017: 50-54
Baltimore Ravens: 2012 World Champions, 2017: 0-0
2017 NFL Pick 'Em: 0-0
#15
Quote by H4T3BR33D3R
None of them tbh.


Quote by EndTheRapture51
I'm not really you tit Josh
lies

blatant lies
(\__/)
(='.'=) This is Bunny. Copy and paste Bunny into your
( )_( ) signature to help him gain World Domination



Do you remember chalk hearts melting on a playground wall
Do you remember dawn escapes from moon washed college halls
Do you remember the cherry blossom in the market square
Do you remember I thought it was confetti in our hair
#16
Quote by necrosis1193
I like to imagine that whenever you make these threads, you're in the middle of an existential crisis. Like you read that article last night and laughed it off. Then that night, you have a vivid nightmare about softboys. You wake up in a cold sweat, breathing heavy. "Oh god," You mutter to yourself. "What if...am I a softboy? What if...can I continue being me if I'm not a fuckboy?" You spend the next few hours staring at the roof, thinking about how this changes everything. Still unsure, you make this thread, hoping to find some sort of form of reaffirmation from UG. Your brow is soaked with sweat as you type the poll out, still not sure what response you'll get, or even what response you want, but you do it anyway.

This is the exact same situation that unfolds for every thread. Brogressivism, flossing, eating by yourself, all of these things have caused you to question your very nature,



I mean, a bit exaggerated but there is some tr00f to some of it 100 percento


deep into the mind of ETR.


Mind you, it's a kiddie pool so it's only waist deep.
Quote by zgr0826
My culture is worthless and absolutely inferior to the almighty Leaf.


Quote by JustRooster
I incurred the wrath of the Association of White Knights. Specifically the Parent's Basement branch of service.
#17
too often I find myself relating to ETR and then contemplating suicide shortly after
#18
Quote by EndTheRapture51
I'm not really you tit Josh
Ah. Well, you had me fooled. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Quote by H4T3BR33D3R
None of them tbh.


Well unless whiner boi is an option.
As an under-privileged male who is of Latino Hispanic heritage, I have a lot to whine about.
There's nothing left here to be saved
Just barreling dogs and barking trains
Another year lost to the blue line
#19
i'm a man
Quote by jrcsgtpeppers
There shall be a stop to this madness. The battle is not over. My tasty licks aren't going anywhere.

Quote by The_Blode
^ I've just realised if you say Simple Plan's 2011 effort "Get Your Heart On!" really fast in a Southern American accent, it sounds gross. . .like sexual gross!

Quote by Necroheadbanger
Hello.
I'm looking for professional bongo-ists and triangle-ists to make a Progressive Technical Brutal Death Metal band
(will be called AxOxJxLxAxIxVxXxUxWxZxQxUxRxWxGxJxSxAxLxKxMxNxHxUxGxAxAxWxVxCxBxZxVx)
(Don't even ask what it means)


https://soundcloud.com/95dank



#20
Quote by MeGaDeth2314
too often I find myself relating to ETR and then contemplating suicide shortly after


I think the only thing I ever related to with ETR is the fact that he enjoys annoying people here once in a while like I do.


Quote by Joshua Garcia
Ah. Well, you had me fooled. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

As an under-privileged male who is of Latino Hispanic heritage, I have a lot to whine about.


Better practice yelling cause I won't be able to hear you after that wall goes up.
Quote by zgr0826
My culture is worthless and absolutely inferior to the almighty Leaf.


Quote by JustRooster
I incurred the wrath of the Association of White Knights. Specifically the Parent's Basement branch of service.
Last edited by H4T3BR33D3R at Aug 17, 2016,
#21
Hey this isn't the ETR roast threads guys keep it nice

I do have feelings you know
Last edited by EndTheRapture51 at Aug 17, 2016,
#22
The only feelings you have are anxiety and depression


yikes too far my b
Quote by zgr0826
My culture is worthless and absolutely inferior to the almighty Leaf.


Quote by JustRooster
I incurred the wrath of the Association of White Knights. Specifically the Parent's Basement branch of service.
#23
This is like 90% of the Pit

The rest are *~gIrLz~*
My God, it's full of stars!
#24
The Softboy sends you songs via Gchat while you’re at work.

Eugh

The Softboy doesn’t want to talk to you about The Wire. He concedes that it is “objectively good television” yet “ultimately problematic” and “undeserving of its lionization.” Obviously, he is an Ally.
He has some art to show you.

EUGH


I'm somewhere in between fuckboi and softboy I guess, in those parts of yourself you do not like to visit we are all X-boi
#25
I've fucked a few boys soft if that counts
they're coming to take me away
ha-haaa
Last edited by Banjocal at Aug 17, 2016,
#26
i always thought it was fuccboi

this softboy sounds like the subject of 75% of the posts on r/creepypms
Last edited by institutions at Aug 17, 2016,
#27
Quote by institutions
i always thought it was fuccboi

this softboy sounds like the subject of 75% of the posts on r/creepypms


it is fuccboi but nobody gives a shit to spell it right so it can be any number of combos of fuck and boy


The softboy stuff sounds like the kind of person that would write fanfics and fantasizes about their OC trying to wheel the main chick by being 'broken' and 'a damaged soul' that needs somebody to fix it and thinking some random chick thinks that's mad 'kawaii desu' homie.


fucken yikes


As in 80 percent of what the pit wants to be.
Quote by zgr0826
My culture is worthless and absolutely inferior to the almighty Leaf.


Quote by JustRooster
I incurred the wrath of the Association of White Knights. Specifically the Parent's Basement branch of service.
#28
I am unashamed to admit that I used to be a softboy. Then I grew up.
#29
isn't a fuccboi a new drink in starbucks
they're coming to take me away
ha-haaa
#30
Quote by Banjocal
isn't a fuccboi a new drink in starbucks


Venti fuccboi low-fat latte?
Quote by zgr0826
My culture is worthless and absolutely inferior to the almighty Leaf.


Quote by JustRooster
I incurred the wrath of the Association of White Knights. Specifically the Parent's Basement branch of service.
#31
Starbucks drinks are a pretty apt comparison to a fuccboi. For one, they don't remember your name.
#32
The Softboy knows this behavior is selfish and cruel, though his desire to get laid can trump this. He feels shame. He does it again.

He wants to know if you’re mad at him. He already knows.


This is the only part I could relate to. But I'm not like that anymore so I'm neither softboy nor fuccboi but a good boi with hard-earned good boi points I trade in for chicken tendies.
Quote by jakesmellspoo
ooh look at me i'm ERIKLENSHERR and i work at fancy pants desk jobs and wear ties and ply barely legal girls with weed and booze i'm such a classy motherfucker.
#34
You've made this thread before you pissface
o()o

Quote by JamSessionFreak
yes every night of my entire life i go to bed crying because i wasnt born american
#36
I'm hard at all times.

...modes and scales are still useless.


Quote by PhoenixGRM
Hey guys could you spare a minute to Vote for my band. Go to the site Search our band Listana with CTRL+F for quick and vote Thank you .
Quote by sam b
Voted for Patron Çıldırdı.

Thanks
Quote by PhoenixGRM
But our Band is Listana
#37
Quote by Xiaoxi
I'm hard at all times.
There's a cream for that.
they're coming to take me away
ha-haaa
#38
Xixi's aspiration:

o()o

Quote by JamSessionFreak
yes every night of my entire life i go to bed crying because i wasnt born american
#39
you're such a cuck lol




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