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#1
Hi,
So first am 17. My parents don't let me go out anywhere on my own. Am not allowed any friends, walk around town pretty much anything. They want me to sit in my bedroom practicing guitar all day. I can't even play the music I like they want me to be a 'shredder' cause they think it's awesome and want me to show off etc I can't stand it. I was in a band but guess what my dad pushed the singer out and now I have nothing. I want to be in a band and gig but my parents won't let me and it's impossible to find another singer.
I was playing 3 gigs next month with my grandad but they just booked a holiday and now I can't do it, I feel like crying
I don't understand it's like they don't want me to live. I'm locked in my bedroom all day, while all other people my age are having fun.
I think my grandad can see what's happening to me but is too afraid to do anything.
I've got a PS4 as a present but never played it cause if i did they would ask me all questions of what am doing and make me feel guilty.
It's been like this for 3 years now and it's driving me mental. just wanted to get this off my chest and some thoughts.
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#2
You'll be 18 shortly and miss the security.
Quote by JustRooster
That's a shamanic incantation of truth if I ever heard one.
#4
Damn, man, that sucks

I don't think that's normal at all, is it? What country are you in?

I am not the perfect example since I was pretty much free since the age of 8, but a young man has to make mistakes to learn from them, and there's looots of mistakes to make and learn from

Maybe try to talk to your parents and tell them that you feel like you're old and responsible enough to go, see and learn from the world you'll be part of tomorrow. Being closed in like this can't be good for the future..
#5
VStratto Music
I know am pretty shy and awkward, this is a result of what their doing to me. TBH I feel too scared to talk to them about it, am not good at talking to people again I think this is from them keeping my locked up.
I think they just want me to keep practicing guitar and get better and think something will happen. they don't understand the feeling of playing live with a band and think it's a waste of time. They buy me things to keep me happy but nothing compares to having friends and being free.
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Last edited by Guitar137335 at Aug 27, 2016,
#6
In Tanzania, parents sell their albino children knowing with 100% certainty that the buyer will then sell them to voodoo doctor who will kill them to use in rituals.
There's no such thing; there never was. Where I am going you cannot follow me now.
#7
Take risks and live a life of your own. If your parents can't respect that, they're not very respectable parents and you shouldn't care what they think.
Quote by snipelfritz
You lost me at "Lubricate."

I'm raw, like nature. Nature boy. Big jungle leaves are my cum rags.

Sometimes I fuck a bamboo shoot.


There's nothing left here to be saved
Just barreling dogs and barking trains
Another year lost to the blue line
#8
Quote by Guitar137335
VStratto Music
I know am pretty shy and awkward, this is a result of what their doing to me. TBH I feel too scared to talk to them about it, am not good at talking to people again I think this is from them keeping my locked up.


Well if you're not going to try and talk to them, nothing is going to change. You need to work on becoming more assertive
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#9
Fat Lard I have been telling them how excited I was to be playing the gigs but they didn't really care and said they might not even come. Am pretty sure they know how I feel.
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#11
kalypto
I living about a 45 minute drive from the closes city, theirs no buses or anything to take me so it's pretty hard,
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Last edited by Guitar137335 at Aug 27, 2016,
#12
Quote by Guitar137335
Fat Lard I have been telling them how excited I was to be playing the gigs but they didn't really care and said they might not even come. Am pretty sure they know how I feel.


Well you're not playing the music for them so it doesn't matter, you're doing it for yourself and the others
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#13
Fat Lard yes but I have to get the equipment their and I know no one else to help me.
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#14
Nahhh man unless your parents have a plan for you when you become an adult, you're going have to let them know that that is not how it works if they want you to be a musician, shredders who do nothing but shred are not that popular nowadays, specially the younger ones. People will follow someone they have fun with, someone they identify with, so social skills are pretty important and so is being tough and prepared if failure happens.

You have you play the music you like because when you start making your own songs, that will be what inspires you, where you excel, where you expand from. If you play music that doesn't inspire you no good ideas will come out, or you won't like them. Be strong man, I hope things go well for you!
#15
You have 2 choices.

Move out.

Deal with it.

“Ignorance more frequently begets confidence than does knowledge.”
Charles Darwin
#16
Quote by Guitar137335
Fat Lard yes but I have to get the equipment their and I know no one else to help me.


ah, that sucks. Either way you should listen to them about getting your chops up. Being able to shred is for superior uber guitarists with grit. Dont bitch out on the sweeps because you like Eric Clapton or x crappy blues bender guitarists
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#17
Alright, please try to follow along with my plan here, since I'm assuming you're stuck there after due to finance issues
1) learn all you can about drug culture, read stories online, and habits of people going through withdraws.
2) When you turn 18 call an oxford house saying you're about to be kicked out and need to be interviewed. Recovering addicts are generally either extremely social, or very introverted, plus they'll understand if you're bad at talking, they'll think you're recovering off whatever drug of choice you choose to say you were hooked on.
3) Get a job as soon as you get there I imagine you'll choose one in the nearest city, a lot of employers hire out of oxford houses, of course you'll be going to AA and NA meetings a lot but oh well, make stuff up, or just say "I _____ and am an alcohlic, I'm just gonna listen tonight."
4) Get an apartment

This is actually my plan, I almost went through with it until they pulled my scripts. Except I had an actual and well documented alcohol and drug addiction.

This plan is only for if you can't support yourself at 18, and if your parents would still not let you do anything using housing/food as leverage so you won't go against their rules.
Last edited by stratkat at Aug 27, 2016,
#18
TS your parents sound great

I think you've got a bad case of "being a teenager", which means you like to complain for no reason. By the time you are 20 you'll be fine.
I have nothing important to say
#19
Fat Lard I have been following Pebber brown (Bucketheads teacher) routine for about 3 years now. 6-9 hours everyday even in the summer. So I can do all the shred stuff, I also just passed grade 8 guitar with 90% so my chops good. Im properly better than 70% of guitarist my age the other 30% mostly being Asian kids lol
I'm also playing drums now which is fun.
I have the knowledge and Skills to join a serious band and compose some songs.
The last couple of months I have been making tons of cool riffs I think could turn into about 20 really good songs. But it's hard to find musicians that can help create the songs instead of destroying them.
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#20
I'm sorry to say it but no one cares about guitar players anymore you could be as good as steve vai and you wouldn't make a living off of it, your only hope really is to get into studio work or teach and even then you might struggle.
#21
In The Gambia, parents commonly have their daughters sent to a doctor to have their vulva completely or partially removed. Three quarters of the women in the country have had this surgery, including half of the girls age 14 and under.
There's no such thing; there never was. Where I am going you cannot follow me now.
#22
JackSaints yes sometimes I think this, but then I see so many other people my age joining bands, playing gigs, going shopping, drinking, all thinks am not allowed to do.
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#23
Haven't heard that routine, but nice I'd try switching it up with Paul Gilbert or Steve Vai training things as it gets boring practicing the same thing over and over again, and recommend Guitar Speed Trainer application for added chop mastery.

Sounds like you already have a decent foundation though, what gives? If your parents are supportive of you getting better, you need to let them know that nothing matches true experience like playing gigs, and it's best to get at least a couple in. They might just be worried that you're going to embarrass yourself up there, so you should show them some of the things you've written.

Quote by VStratto Music
Nahhh man unless your parents have a plan for you when you become an adult, you're going have to let them know that that is not how it works if they want you to be a musician, shredders who do nothing but shred are not that popular nowadays, specially the younger ones. People will follow someone they have fun with, someone they identify with, so social skills are pretty important and so is being tough and prepared if failure happens.

You have you play the music you like because when you start making your own songs, that will be what inspires you, where you excel, where you expand from. If you play music that doesn't inspire you no good ideas will come out, or you won't like them. Be strong man, I hope things go well for you!


Found the noob that can't sweep
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#24
kalypto I know, but my parents don't. I have told them hundreds of times but they still don't believe me. They always compare me to other guitarist, like its some type of competition.
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Last edited by Guitar137335 at Aug 27, 2016,
#26
Personally I like more hard and alt rock stuff. But I try and learn all different styles. Lately I've been into country and jazz
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#28
PAREEEEENTS

WHY WONT THEY SHUT UP
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#29
I have sympathy as my parents are/were pretty fucked, with some similarities to yours. You can't expect them to change, so you need to move out as soon as you can so you can start living your life. The longer you put up with it the more it will fuck you up so you need to get out of their for your own health.
Last edited by korinaflyingv at Aug 27, 2016,
#30
I thought my parents were pricks growing up. Religious nut cases, super over protective (always had to know who and where I was hanging out with, calling my phone like every fking hour). From getting my drivers license to picking college majors, they were always uptight and trying to take control.

Now most parents are like this because they try to care, but times have changed drastically and sometimes they just don't get "it"
Once you get a good paying job, you're pretty much free to do whatever you want. Until then just keep moving forward and be good to them.
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#31
Parents in Sri Lanka often force their sons into prostitution with European tourists in order to raise extra money.
There's no such thing; there never was. Where I am going you cannot follow me now.
#32
Quote by theogonia777
Parents in Sri Lanka often force their sons into prostitution with European tourists in order to raise extra money.

I know you're trying to give the kid some perspective but you can't just keep giving examples of even shittier examples of parenting and expect it to change anything, It's like people who say you can't be depressed because you live in a first world country and not some third world shit hole so therefor you have nothing to be depressed about.
#33
I'm sorry did OP just say his parents want him to shred and did everyone just move the fuck on from that statement
#34
Yeah it's weird but maybe they're just really pushy parents and want him to be a virtuoso guitar player or something because they see he has a talent for it
#35
Quote by kalypto
I know you're trying to give the kid some perspective but you can't just keep giving examples of even shittier examples of parenting and expect it to change anything, It's like people who say you can't be depressed because you live in a first world country and not some third world shit hole so therefor you have nothing to be depressed about.


Some animals just kill their offspring for fun.
There's no such thing; there never was. Where I am going you cannot follow me now.
#36
Quote by theogonia777
In The Gambia, parents commonly have their daughters sent to a doctor to have their vulva completely or partially removed. Three quarters of the women in the country have had this surgery, including half of the girls age 14 and under.


That's nothing. In America, they cut chunks of our dick skin off just because people didn't know how to clean their dicks back then, as soon as we're born, which I can only assume is very painful from just starting to breathe/etc. I got lucky in that I still kind of have my 'male G spot' on the backside of it right under the glans, but a lot of people lose that depending on the operation. #MRA
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#37
In Lancaster County, Pennsylvania, they force children to churn their own butter with a butterchurn.
There's no such thing; there never was. Where I am going you cannot follow me now.
#38
Worst of all though. Sam got married almost two years ago. He could have a child by now. You could have Sam for a dad.
There's no such thing; there never was. Where I am going you cannot follow me now.
#39
Quote by theogonia777
In Lancaster County, Pennsylvania, they force children to churn their own butter with a butterchurn.


That's nothing. In America, they make butter without even milk, and just random oils, which I can only assume is lacking in nutrients and omega 3's. I got lucky in that I can still kind of find Kerrygold butter which is made with grass-fed cows for maximum nutrients, but a lot of the 'real' butters that you can find at the store are made with grain-fed cows, sometimes not even cows at all, like goats
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#40
Quote by ali.guitarkid7
I'm sorry did OP just say his parents want him to shred and did everyone just move the fuck on from that statement


Its a reasonable expectation. Forget your grades or going to uni, just shred dem modes and scales.
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