suh dude.
First off dope job on your first metalcore song with vox, mine definitely weren't anywhere near as good when i started out haha.
To the crit:
Vocals: Your voice sounds slightly weak in the performance, mix wise I'd say compress it to death and maybe try having a parallel channel of distortion to thicken it up slightly/add more grit. with the clean vocals compress more, add more high end, add delay, turn down that reverb and choose a larger hall and they should sound a heap better.
Lyrically you can also tell English isn't your first language, so I understand why some sentences don't make sense. maybe try proof reading your lyrics more, but this is hard to improve on and an understandable fault.
Guitars: guitars sound rad, tone is good and playing is great, no faults here.
Drums: written well & fit the song perfectly.
Bass: lol bass.
Overall song writing is solid, song works from start to finish and has no real harsh transitions. only issue is the start almost serves no purpose, so i'd cut that.

If you can be so kind, to crit mine?