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#1
What's your approach for various situations opening or holding doors open for other people? I always try to open or hold the door whenever I get the chance, though in some situations it makes things awkward to do so. For instance, say you're on the inside and the door opens outward, you can see that someone is coming in. In this case it makes the most sense to let the other person pull the door open and allow you to pass through, rather than push open the door in their face, walk through, and hold the door, which seems a little over aggressive door etiquette. However, today as I was walking out of a gas station, I saw an older woman - grandmother type - was coming in and would get to the door slightly before me. My automatic reaction was to walk slightly faster, open and go through the door, then hold it open with a "scuse me" and small smile. Immediately afterward I was a little unsure of my response. Should I have allowed her to open the door herself? Is this a common response or did I overextend? If it was another male or even a younger female in that situation I probably would have allowed them to open the door themselves and wait for them to go through or give a nod and "thanks" if they held the door for me; just because it's so awkward to open and hold a door for someone when you're having to push the door open and thus get in their way. With a younger woman I am prone to go more out of my way to open/hold a door than another guy, but I won't go way over the top like I would for a matriarch or someone who's obviously having trouble because I can see how it could be creepy if you're overboard about it. Not saying all grandma types are invalids, I guess it's just a respect thing.

Idk, what do you think? What are your door opening responses? I don't know how much potential for discussion there is here. I guess we could talk about how it relates to the sexism/feminism discussion if anybody feels like taking a 2x4 to an equine cadaver?
#2
the other day I held a door open for this dude and he walks right past me, looks me dead in the eye, and doesn't say a word or even nod


wanted to trash his lights
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#3
I don't speed up or anything for anyone other than my wife.

For anyone else, I walk normally to get there, and hold the door if it makes sense for them. Man, woman, child, elderly, or otherwise.

I may speed up to hold the door for a dog
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#4
StewieSwan

Wtf? I hate that shit. The nod is like the bare minimum; especially if you look someone in the eye. Looking someone in the eye, especially a stranger, is already a weird semi-threatening thing. It's like you're required to give a nod or say something at that point, otherwise it's super antagonistic.
#5
The person closest to the door opens it first. Sometimes I'll open one of the other doors if it's in a mall.
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#6
I open doors for people if I feel like it. I often feel like holding doors open for people who I think could benefit from it more than the average person. I am entitled to nothing for this.
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#7
Quote by StewieSwan
the other day I held a door open for this dude and he walks right past me, looks me dead in the eye, and doesn't say a word or even nod


wanted to trash his lights


Yr supposed to stare him back in the face and say "You're welcome."
My God, it's full of stars!
#8
Dreadnought
Mr. Badass over here

Would you purposely let the door close on someone carrying a stack of boxes as well?
#9
I always hold doors open for people even if it's super awks.


Although If you're 30 feet away and aren't going to make it soon then I won't wait tho.
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#10
Quote by The4thHorsemen
Dreadnought
Mr. Badass over here


Over where? I'll fight him!


Would you purposely let the door close on someone carrying a stack of boxes as well?


Why would I do that
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#11
H4T3BR33D3R

Same. It just feels nice to go a little out of the way for a stranger. There are some situations where it's just too awkward.

On a similar note, I've started really making an effort to make small talk with people or even just smile at people whenever I get the chance. I'm generally really shy and introverted, but I've been pushing myself to do it as much as possible. Feels good.
#12
Quote by Dreadnought
Why would I do that


Well, you added elderly in there, which is like number two priority for door opening/holding, right after someone carrying something. I know there are plenty of elderly people who are super capable, but
#13
Quote by The4thHorsemen
H4T3BR33D3R

Same. It just feels nice to go a little out of the way for a stranger. There are some situations where it's just too awkward.

On a similar note, I've started really making an effort to make small talk with people or even just smile at people whenever I get the chance. I'm generally really shy and introverted, but I've been pushing myself to do it as much as possible. Feels good.


Honestly that's why I started small talking with people a long ass time ago. I always found it really hard for me to talk with people and I always felt I would embarrass myself or say something dumb so I would just be super awks and not say anything and just avoid eye contact as much as possible. Eventually I felt like that was hindering me and I was being a bit overboard so just went HAM and just tried to talk with as many people as I could (that seemed like they wanted to talk). It was a bit rough at first cause I was overthinking everything but then you get used to it and you end up having a decent time.


Good luck duder
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#14
I usually only do it for people carrying stuff.
It tends to happen most with the vendor stocking guys bringing in Gatorade or coke or whatever.

To expect some sort of thank you is a bit much.
Especially if you were never asked to hold it open.

You've interjected yourself into a situation to help.
The help offered was the bare minimum possible work you could possibly do, then you are expecting a thank you for this extremely tiny amount of work that you were never asked to do.
#16
actually I've given it some proper thought and I think that women should hold open doors for men for a couple of years
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#17
H4T3BR33D3R
Yea, I've really been pushing myself to make the extra effort in that area for the past year or so. I went with slowly doing more and more instead of going all out from the beginning. I can still be awkward and run out of shit to say sometimes, but I'm seeing some improvement and feeling less awkward about it. My main area of focus now is to try to not let it get to me or eat at me when I do say or do something awkward and just take it as a learning experience. I've it's easiest if I can get the other person talking and then listen to them and follow along. Much more difficult when I come across someone who's more like myself and neither one of us can keep the conversation going.

#18
Quote by gonzaw
I used to hold the door for everybody ...

... but after May 22 I just couldn't anymore

What happened? Want to talk about it?
#19
i don't hold doors for anyone ever since i got chewed out by a rabid feminist for it
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#20
i've made a habit of pushing the door behind me whenever i open one in public. if whoever is behind me can catch it then cool they may say thanks but i wouldn't really care if they didn't. if they miss the door then whatever at least they don't have to touch the nasty handle and can just squeeze in there. sometimes there's nobody behind me and i look like an angry guy but it's cool cause destroying babylon is still the ultimate goal.




#21
Quote by Dreadnought
Yr supposed to stare him back in the face and say "You're welcome."


didn't wanna microagress
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#22
Quote by StewieSwan
didn't wanna microagress


*tips fedora*
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#23
I always hold the door for other people. On rare occasions I'll get some "diva" type who, apparently, thinks it's my job to hold the door open and who walks through nose in the air with not a whiffle of "thanks". Those types I call "bitch".

I'm petty like that. Courtesy given means courtesy should be returned. No return....and I turn nasty quite quickly.
#25
I like it when people hold doors open for me because most doors are HEAVY and I sprained my neck pulling a heavy door open once so I definitely appreciate any help that comes my way. I really dislike it when people let doors shut behind them if they're the kind that go inwards (towards the person behind them)because I've bashed my knee on a few of those.

I try to hold doors open for people who are behind me but unfortunately some are just too heavy for me to leave open for more than a few seconds, especially if I'm carrying a lot of things.
cat
#27
i hold open doors for people when i'm in a good mood and i don't even get mad when they don't thank me for it
#28
i pretty much always hold the door if it seems like you're heading in/out.

i used to have this anti nazi armband on a sweatshirt and the best part about wearing it and holding the door for old people was the double takes and looks of confusion/discomfort.
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#30
Quote by jakesmellspoo
i pretty much always hold the door if it seems like you're heading in/out.

i used to have this anti nazi armband on a sweatshirt and the best part about wearing it and holding the door for old people was the double takes and looks of confusion/discomfort.


I got a shirt at an Opeth concert (devil root shirt) that's got some crazy looking demonic faces growing out of some roots that would occasionally get weird looks from older people. I don't wear it very often anymore, but when I did I always made an extra effort to be super friendly and smile a lot.
#31
When I hold the door open I spread my legs and let my balls dangle through my pantleg as women walk through; nothing short of a power move declaring dominance amongst my male peers
bawitaba a bang a bang diggy diggy diggy sed the boogie sed up jump the boogie
#32
I can usually tell if I'm gonna do the door hold by the eye contact made approaching the door. when people don't make the contact, they either walk through the other door while I stand holding the other one looking like an idiot, or they walk through and say nothing.


the worst is the lady or guy with three kids jacking around to get through the door, and then they ignores you
#34
keep the speed I'm walking, leave the door open for the person behind me.

if the person is coming the other direction, I'll hold it open and go second or go through but hold it open long enough for them to "take over", depends mostly on which way the door opens and if they were too close for me to walk straight though when I opened it.
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#35
Hodor.
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#37
I hold the door open for people behind me long enough for them to hold it open themselves and realize I was being generous (or attempting to).

If they're coming out and I'm going in, I'll step on the other side of the door and pull it open until they go through.

If I'm going out and they're going in is when it gets awkward since your arm gets in the way, but you just gotta push it open and hope they take hold fast enough for you to let go and get out of their way.
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#38
Also, relevant.

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Just barreling dogs and barking trains
Another year lost to the blue line
#39
If I'm opening a door to a building a person is less than 10 feet away, I'll prop it open for them for a few seconds. Same goes leaving the building. I don't mind if people don't do this for me, depending on my mood or how big of a rush I'm in, I'll sometimes NOT be a nice person and hold it open.
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#40
Quote by StewieSwan
the other day I held a door open for this dude and he walks right past me, looks me dead in the eye, and doesn't say a word or even nod


wanted to trash his lights

Should have beat him to death with yr Chinese flute
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