Page 1 of 3
#1
I used to steal candy and those rubber bouncy balls all the time when I was a little kid. Good times, no fucks given, never got caught.
Quote by jrcsgtpeppers
There shall be a stop to this madness. The battle is not over. My tasty licks aren't going anywhere.

Quote by The_Blode
^ I've just realised if you say Simple Plan's 2011 effort "Get Your Heart On!" really fast in a Southern American accent, it sounds gross. . .like sexual gross!

Quote by Necroheadbanger
Hello.
I'm looking for professional bongo-ists and triangle-ists to make a Progressive Technical Brutal Death Metal band
(will be called AxOxJxLxAxIxVxXxUxWxZxQxUxRxWxGxJxSxAxLxKxMxNxHxUxGxAxAxWxVxCxBxZxVx)
(Don't even ask what it means)


https://soundcloud.com/95dank



#3
I worked in a newsagents/cornershop and stole hundreds of pounds, scratchcards, alcohol and food. Then I got fired because the money from my shift went missing and it actually wasn't my fault but it looked like I'd stolen it. Karma and that, I guess.

I steal food via the self-scan checkout literally every time I buy food. I have learnt zero lessons.
#4
Quote by danielh123.
I worked in a newsagents/cornershop and stole hundreds of pounds, scratchcards, alcohol and food. Then I got fired because the money from my shift went missing and it actually wasn't my fault but it looked like I'd stolen it. Karma and that, I guess.

I steal food via the self-scan checkout literally every time I buy food. I have learnt zero lessons.
Wow you're a dick
ggg1 ggg3

.
#5
Quote by behind_you
Wow you're a dick


Yeah I think so too sometimes. I justify it in my head 'cos my boss was a genuine cunt, but deep down I know that's not an excuse. Can't help but not feel bad though
#7
Yeah, some zip earstud things from Topman when I randomly decided to pierce my ear
dirtbag ballet by the bins down the alley
as i walk through the chalet of the shadow of death
everything that you've come to expect


#8
I've stolen stationary from school, a few lego men from people I hated and who had it coming (both those guys were total fucking idiots) and once I stole a 5p bubblegum from a shop.

Call the cops. I dare you.
I have nothing important to say
#9
Quote by danielh123.

I steal food via the self-scan checkout literally every time I buy food. I have learnt zero lessons.


same. I don't mind stealing from large corporations like walmart

Quote by Pastafarian96
I an evety characyer in this story
#10
Once upon a time I was buying some sweets using a self-scan checkout and someone had left about £1.50 change, which was more than enough for my haribo.

Apparently, theft by finding is a real thing so I can maybe add this to my hardcore list of stolen items.
I have nothing important to say
#11
Only the hearts of my loved ones.
You are now using UG Black.
You are now using UG Classic.


Listening to: A bunch of forced listening by my composition teacher... some great stuff by Bach, Haydn, Mozart, Schubert, Liszt...


GTA V! ... the 120th game of the franchise.
#12
No I don't think so

Unless you count knowingly subscribing to WoW over phone with a deactivated number so they give you the membership for a day, and just doing that every day, effectively playing for months for free.
Quote by Trowzaa
I wish I was American.

~ A Rolling Potato Gathers No Moss ~
#13
I think I'm a kleptomaniac, and that I have a genuine problem :l I've lost track of everything I've stolen, and I've even managed to do it right in front of people, that's how much practice I've had. The reason I think it's an actual problem is that I feel more at ease and confident when I'm putting this pretence on, and the rush is exhilarating. But what can I do, just walk into a shrinks office and say "So hey, I need you to stop me from stealing stuff", and he'll just reply with like "Lol gtfo, I've got people who want to kill themselves coming to see me, I ain't got no time for you".

On the bright side, I've saved money for things that I can't steal!
All my hobbies are expensive, pls $$donate to my cause$$
#15
One time I stole the Declaration of Independence so I could find a clue to a hidden treasure
#16
I've just remembered that downloading stuff online is considered theft. I've probably stolen thousands of pounds worth of stuff from illegal downloads, but who actually counts that?
I have nothing important to say
#17
Quote by M00NAGEDAYDREAM
same. I don't mind stealing from large corporations like walmart


When I was a kid I stole a 5-10 dollar jump rope with no barcode or anything. Someone took It out of the packaging and just left it in the middle of the isle. Fit perfectly in my pocket ... yeah fuck Walmart
Quote by jrcsgtpeppers
There shall be a stop to this madness. The battle is not over. My tasty licks aren't going anywhere.

Quote by The_Blode
^ I've just realised if you say Simple Plan's 2011 effort "Get Your Heart On!" really fast in a Southern American accent, it sounds gross. . .like sexual gross!

Quote by Necroheadbanger
Hello.
I'm looking for professional bongo-ists and triangle-ists to make a Progressive Technical Brutal Death Metal band
(will be called AxOxJxLxAxIxVxXxUxWxZxQxUxRxWxGxJxSxAxLxKxMxNxHxUxGxAxAxWxVxCxBxZxVx)
(Don't even ask what it means)


https://soundcloud.com/95dank



#18
This other time me and 10 friends stole a bunch of money from a Casino in Vegas and a douchebag that was boning my ex
#19
I used to "collect" these pices of small plastic that were wrapped around clothes hangers with the shirt size labeled on them. I was four years old back then.
Quote by DisarmGoliath
Facesitting is a violation of freedom of speech, because how can you speak when you have an ass covering your face?
#20
Quote by JackSaints
I've just remembered that downloading stuff online is considered theft. I've probably stolen thousands of pounds worth of stuff from illegal downloads, but who actually counts that?


I've torrented thousands of media files from full albums of music to movies to tv shows to PC video games in my life time. Absolutely no fucks given.
If I wanna support a band or artist or director or game studio I will pay, an I'll see them live and buy their merch. Same thing with going to the movie theater on its release date, etc
Quote by jrcsgtpeppers
There shall be a stop to this madness. The battle is not over. My tasty licks aren't going anywhere.

Quote by The_Blode
^ I've just realised if you say Simple Plan's 2011 effort "Get Your Heart On!" really fast in a Southern American accent, it sounds gross. . .like sexual gross!

Quote by Necroheadbanger
Hello.
I'm looking for professional bongo-ists and triangle-ists to make a Progressive Technical Brutal Death Metal band
(will be called AxOxJxLxAxIxVxXxUxWxZxQxUxRxWxGxJxSxAxLxKxMxNxHxUxGxAxAxWxVxCxBxZxVx)
(Don't even ask what it means)


https://soundcloud.com/95dank



#21
Quote by CaptainCadmium
I think I'm a kleptomaniac, and that I have a genuine problem :l I've lost track of everything I've stolen, and I've even managed to do it right in front of people, that's how much practice I've had. The reason I think it's an actual problem is that I feel more at ease and confident when I'm putting this pretence on, and the rush is exhilarating. But what can I do, just walk into a shrinks office and say "So hey, I need you to stop me from stealing stuff", and he'll just reply with like "Lol gtfo, I've got people who want to kill themselves coming to see me, I ain't got no time for you".

On the bright side, I've saved money for things that I can't steal!


I see a doctor for various mental health related things and during the initial assessments they were really keen to know to what degree I consider theft a problem and the part it played in my life. I think you'd be surprised how seriously they'd take it.
That's NHS btw, so it's not like they have a cash incentive for pretending to give a shit about it
#22
I'm curious to see what the total of stolen goods is in a year from Walmart.
#23
I've just remembered yet another hardcore mastermind thieving tale. Once upon a time at college, the keypad of some vending machine in the area where me and my mates hung out had been left unlocked after the machine had been re-stocked. So someone changed the prices of everything to 0 and we got loads of free sweets. Then we left the area and loads of people realised the machine was now free, a huge crowd gathered and the machine died of exhaustion. And nobody knew who did it.
I have nothing important to say
#24
Quote by CaptainCadmium
I think I'm a kleptomaniac, and that I have a genuine problem :l I've lost track of everything I've stolen, and I've even managed to do it right in front of people, that's how much practice I've had. The reason I think it's an actual problem is that I feel more at ease and confident when I'm putting this pretence on, and the rush is exhilarating. But what can I do, just walk into a shrinks office and say "So hey, I need you to stop me from stealing stuff", and he'll just reply with like "Lol gtfo, I've got people who want to kill themselves coming to see me, I ain't got no time for you".

On the bright side, I've saved money for things that I can't steal!

Jesus Christ, Marie
Quote by Trowzaa
I wish I was American.

~ A Rolling Potato Gathers No Moss ~
#25
Quote by danielh123.
I worked in a newsagents/cornershop and stole hundreds of pounds, scratchcards, alcohol and food. Then I got fired because the money from my shift went missing and it actually wasn't my fault but it looked like I'd stolen it. Karma and that, I guess.

I steal food via the self-scan checkout literally every time I buy food. I have learnt zero lessons.



Reminds me of this employee I used to work with at this restaurant. He was also a cashier and I saw him grab beers and chug em and trash em when my manager boss wasn't around. He would drink like a quarter of daily inventory and my boss was too laid back to care. I did end up ratting him out to my boss about him after running into that dicks shenanigans a few more times, and yes she did fire him (but for smoking pot on her property lol what a dumbass)

I don't mind stealing from mega corps, but you don't steal from small ma and pa places that's just messed up.
Quote by jrcsgtpeppers
There shall be a stop to this madness. The battle is not over. My tasty licks aren't going anywhere.

Quote by The_Blode
^ I've just realised if you say Simple Plan's 2011 effort "Get Your Heart On!" really fast in a Southern American accent, it sounds gross. . .like sexual gross!

Quote by Necroheadbanger
Hello.
I'm looking for professional bongo-ists and triangle-ists to make a Progressive Technical Brutal Death Metal band
(will be called AxOxJxLxAxIxVxXxUxWxZxQxUxRxWxGxJxSxAxLxKxMxNxHxUxGxAxAxWxVxCxBxZxVx)
(Don't even ask what it means)


https://soundcloud.com/95dank



#26
Quote by EyeNon15
This other time me and 10 friends stole a bunch of money from a Casino in Vegas and a douchebag that was boning my ex
is this story staying in Vegas?
#27
Another time I stole some blueprints of a superweapon from the governnment. Many of my Bothan brothers died because of it.
#28
Only a real piece of shit still steals music in 2016. There are a ridiculous amount of free streaming services.
OBEY THE MIGHTY SHITKICKER
Last edited by JustRooster at Sep 10, 2016,
#29
Quote by EyeNon15
Another time I stole some blueprints of a superweapon from the governnment. Many of my Bothan brothers died because of it.
you're going to jail
#30
Quote by k.lainad

I don't mind stealing from mega corps, but you don't steal from small ma and pa places that's just messed up.


yeah I would never steal from a mom & pop shop

Quote by Pastafarian96
I an evety characyer in this story
#31
Quote by JustRooster
Only a real piece of shit still steals music in 2016. There are a ridiculous amount of free streaming services.


I saw that edit

I download music, I find it very very difficult to feel bad for it.
#32
Mostly just pens and stuff from work
Come back if you want to
And remember who you are
‘Cause there's nothing here for you my dear
And everything must pass
#33
Music?
[img]http://i.imgur.com/LYZyCdp.gif[/img]


Quote by CrossBack7
Momie's like not even a real person, just an asian, lesbian spirit.
#34
Yes because I'm a filthy pirate.

To add to the question, has anyone ever wrapped the insides of a bag with tin foil and gone "shopping"?
#35
Do women's hearts count??

...modes and scales are still useless.


Quote by PhoenixGRM
Hey guys could you spare a minute to Vote for my band. Go to the site Search our band Listana with CTRL+F for quick and vote Thank you .
Quote by sam b
Voted for Patron Çıldırdı.

Thanks
Quote by PhoenixGRM
But our Band is Listana
#36
Quote by Rebel Scum
To add to the question, has anyone ever wrapped the insides of a bag with tin foil and gone "shopping"?

y tho?
Quote by Xiaoxi
Do women's hearts count??

I feel like you'd get a nicer penalty due to having no prior history
Come back if you want to
And remember who you are
‘Cause there's nothing here for you my dear
And everything must pass
#38
Ive only stolen a pen from a kid in primary school and i felt so guilty that i hid it and never used it.
I also get nervous walking out of stores without buying anything. Sometimes theres a security guard there and im like just act natural, even though I've done nothing.

Quote by Rebel Scum
Yes because I'm a filthy pirate.

To add to the question, has anyone ever wrapped the insides of a bag with tin foil and gone "shopping"?

I was pretty sure this doesnt work?
Quote by Mr E Meat
this is your brain

this is your brain on RT

Quote by Standard_A440
Given that you reside in the shade of the natural light of reason, I will defer doing your homework to you.
#40
yh i stole some of those really small circle batteries from a kmart that was going out of business. like they were just sitting in an open tub so i snagged a few for a digimon toy.

got really upset afterwards and now i have started a business to severely punish anyone who steals.
Page 1 of 3