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#1
I'm sure we've had this thread before but idc.

Mine aren't and it's mostly my dad's fault because he often treats my mom like an annoyance even though she does literally nothing wrong. He just gets angry at himself and takes it out on everything and one but himself. He's not abusive, but he's basically got anger issues and when you point out his faults he just throws a tantrum like a little child. It really gets to me sometimes (like now for example) because I can't do anything about it except lend an ear to my mom about how she just takes it.

But I'll avoid going on a rant, here.

So yea, assuming they aren't divorced or deceased, are yours happily married or together?
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Just barreling dogs and barking trains
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Last edited by Joshua Garcia at Sep 13, 2016,
#2
lol whose parents are still married lmao it's the current year
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#4
They've been happily married for 33 or 34 years now. I've never seen them have a serious fight actually. They've had a few arguments here and there, but the worst that would happen is that one of them got annoyed, went off to do something else for an hour and then things would be fine again.
#5
U2's With or Without You pretty much sums up my parents marriage.
Dance in the moonlight my old friend twilight


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#6
My parents have been divorced for about six years but my mum was unhappy for a long time before that.

She got pregnant with me very early into their relationship and when she was very young, and spent most of the next 18 years brooding over that fact despite us having a decent life. Did a pretty good job of hiding it from me until she finally left my dad though. But the implication (that i took) is that she was miserable for nearly 20 years, largely because I happened. Not a great feeling and I really hope my own kid doesn't have to go through that.
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#8
Separated. I now have four parents.
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#9
My mum was stunningly beautiful in, what was it, 1978 or so, when she got married to my dad.
Look at her today and you'd think she'd been disfigured somewhere down the line (I assure her she's beautiful but then again I'm family).
I haven't ever seen them laugh together or anything. There's been some stuff that I wouldn't elaborate on though. My father is that kind of person. My mother summed it up as having had a bad life.

So f no, basically.
Last edited by Spinnerweb at Sep 13, 2016,
#11
I can't fucking work it out

Quote by korinaflyingv
It doesn't seem like it. They bicker over every tiny thing, can't agree on anything and without exception fail to listen to each other. Neither of them deserve any better though.

This sounds about right but to a slightly lesser extent
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#12
My parents seem happy....for now. They've come close to divorcing before and it's been several years since the last time, so I reckon it won't last. Or if it does, they'll just get over their problems again until the next time they decide to get fed up of each other.
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#14
Quote by korinaflyingv
With my parents neither of them seems to expect anything better and it makes me wonder if my idea of a good relationship is just too idealistic. Does everyone just hate each other?
Sounds like it.

I mean, do you seriously expect to someday meet someone who never argues with you?
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#16
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lol whose parents are still married lmao it's the current year


mine

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#18
Quote by StewieSwan
lol whose parents are still married lmao it's the current year
Not yours, because your 'dad' found out that your biological father is one of a family of rednecks, or their livestock.
Quote by korinaflyingv
Of course not. But being able to have a conversation without some level of hostility would be nice.
Maybe they just blame each other for the way you turned out, and so whenever you're around, the hostility boils over.
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Last edited by slapsymcdougal at Sep 13, 2016,
#19
Quote by korinaflyingv
Of course not. But being able to have a conversation without some level of hostility would be nice.


~you may say that I'm a dreamer~
My old signature was too long. Have a daisy.

#22
My parents were split before I was even born - I'm definitely a bastard and I'm relatively confident I was the result of a fling.
#23
Not by a long shot. (TL' DR: Dad was abusive, mum treated like shit. Conservative Turkish Islamic culture fucked our family up so badly).

My mum was forced to marry my dad. When she was 17 my grandad decided it was time for her to get married and was passing off his rich business friends as potential suitors. All of them were in their 40's. She wanted to marry her second cousin because they got on so well and were in love. My grandad forbade it. My aunt found my dad and, my mum hated him. He was arrogant, a drinker, thought he was cool, but was a jock type asshole. He was very immature even at 18. He had no prospects and didn't care about anything.

My grandad said she had to marry him. A few months later, mum noticed dad was abusive. He thought very little of women, would belittle her, berate her, humiliate her in front of others and treat her like shit. My mum told my grandma all this and said to her "I do not want to marry him." My grandma said fine. Hours later, my uncle came over to my speak with my mum on the orders of grandma and grandad. Threats were made and my uncle hit my mum. The wedding was moved forward to that week and my mum was forced with pain of death to marry my dad.

Suffice it to say, 30 years of unhappy, abusive marriage followed. My mum was forced to have 3 kids and we are the only reason she managed to keep it together. She couldn't get a divorce, because of the oppressive Islamic culture I come from. This was in the UK by the way. She reached out to a lawyer who told her she can't get a divorce, and its best to stay in the marriage for the sake of the kids. My grandad, 5 uncles, 4 aunts all threatened to disown her and make sure she was homeless. They made threats against the kids.

My life growing up was miserable. My grandad dicked my dad over big time and he hit the bottle hard for 20 years. Daily beatings followed. If my mum stepped in he would slap her, shout at her and tell her "I am making him into a man." These beatings happened until I was 15. I became a shield against my sister and brother to protect them. I hated my dad, I still do.

I left the religion at 13 and my entire family bar my mum dad sister and brother disowned me. They cut out my immediate family. Every now and then the extended family would get back in touch, stir shit, cause in fighting and drama that ultimately led to dad drinking more and beating me more. He blamed all his failings on me. Beat me, abused mum verbally, mentally fucked up my sister so much she cant get married because she does not trust men. She lives in fear of men because of my dad.

Things came to head in 2007 when I tried to kill him in his sleep but my mum stopped me. He does not know I tried it. Around 5 years ago, he stopped drinking. He never apologised for what he did to us, but he started to change. Its been slow, and despite everything, I have forgiven him for what he did. I will not forget. I dont hate him, but I dont love him either. I treat him with respect because he treats me with respect. I know he is trying to make amends. He does love me and the family. I know the army fucked him up, his mother messed with his head, my mums parents screwed his head up more.

As an adult, I listened to how he was treated, reached out to people who knew him, and I realsied the way he acted was because he was being treated worse than dirt all his life. He couldnt escape his demons and he took it out on us. I know he feels remorse, he tries so hard now to make amends, but my mum will never forgive him for ruining her life. He ruined mine too, but he took steps to repair some of the damage in the last 5 years. People do not understand how I can still talk to the man after all he has done, but he made the effort and it was sincere, so I cant snub him, it would make things worse for everyone.

He is still an unbearable opinionated asshole, but he is changing.
Sat in a lab, curing diseases. They actually LET me play with chemicals!
#24
Quote by slapsymcdougal
Not yours, because your 'dad' found out that your biological father is one of a family of rednecks, or their livestock.
lmao
Quote by SGstriker
If KFC is finger-licking good, then people would probably suck dicks for Popeyes. That's how good it is.


There's nothing left here to be saved
Just barreling dogs and barking trains
Another year lost to the blue line
#25
Quote by Guitardude19
Not by a long shot. (TL' DR: Dad was abusive, mum treated like shit. Conservative Turkish Islamic culture fucked our family up so badly).

My mum was forced to marry my dad. When she was 17 my grandad decided it was time for her to get married and was passing off his rich business friends as potential suitors. All of them were in their 40's. She wanted to marry her second cousin because they got on so well and were in love. My grandad forbade it. My aunt found my dad and, my mum hated him. He was arrogant, a drinker, thought he was cool, but was a jock type asshole. He was very immature even at 18. He had no prospects and didn't care about anything.

My grandad said she had to marry him. A few months later, mum noticed dad was abusive. He thought very little of women, would belittle her, berate her, humiliate her in front of others and treat her like shit. My mum told my grandma all this and said to her "I do not want to marry him." My grandma said fine. Hours later, my uncle came over to my speak with my mum on the orders of grandma and grandad. Threats were made and my uncle hit my mum. The wedding was moved forward to that week and my mum was forced with pain of death to marry my dad.

Suffice it to say, 30 years of unhappy, abusive marriage followed. My mum was forced to have 3 kids and we are the only reason she managed to keep it together. She couldn't get a divorce, because of the oppressive Islamic culture I come from. This was in the UK by the way. She reached out to a lawyer who told her she can't get a divorce, and its best to stay in the marriage for the sake of the kids. My grandad, 5 uncles, 4 aunts all threatened to disown her and make sure she was homeless. They made threats against the kids.

My life growing up was miserable. My grandad dicked my dad over big time and he hit the bottle hard for 20 years. Daily beatings followed. If my mum stepped in he would slap her, shout at her and tell her "I am making him into a man." These beatings happened until I was 15. I became a shield against my sister and brother to protect them. I hated my dad, I still do.

I left the religion at 13 and my entire family bar my mum dad sister and brother disowned me. They cut out my immediate family. Every now and then the extended family would get back in touch, stir shit, cause in fighting and drama that ultimately led to dad drinking more and beating me more. He blamed all his failings on me. Beat me, abused mum verbally, mentally fucked up my sister so much she cant get married because she does not trust men. She lives in fear of men because of my dad.

Things came to head in 2007 when I tried to kill him in his sleep but my mum stopped me. He does not know I tried it. Around 5 years ago, he stopped drinking. He never apologised for what he did to us, but he started to change. Its been slow, and despite everything, I have forgiven him for what he did. I will not forget. I dont hate him, but I dont love him either. I treat him with respect because he treats me with respect. I know he is trying to make amends. He does love me and the family. I know the army fucked him up, his mother messed with his head, my mums parents screwed his head up more.

As an adult, I listened to how he was treated, reached out to people who knew him, and I realsied the way he acted was because he was being treated worse than dirt all his life. He couldnt escape his demons and he took it out on us. I know he feels remorse, he tries so hard now to make amends, but my mum will never forgive him for ruining her life. He ruined mine too, but he took steps to repair some of the damage in the last 5 years. People do not understand how I can still talk to the man after all he has done, but he made the effort and it was sincere, so I cant snub him, it would make things worse for everyone.

He is still an unbearable opinionated asshole, but he is changing.
Also holy **** read all that. I can't even begin to comprehend what that must have been like for you or your mom.

Proud of you though. Couldn't have been easy to bring yourself to forgive him.
Quote by SGstriker
If KFC is finger-licking good, then people would probably suck dicks for Popeyes. That's how good it is.


There's nothing left here to be saved
Just barreling dogs and barking trains
Another year lost to the blue line
#26
Yeah they are pretty happy. I consider myself incredibly lucky in that regards
e-married to Jack (bladez)
#27
I think they're happy, but I sometimes wonder what they see in each other. They seem like such different people, but at the same time, really cool together
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#28
Guitardude19 That's terrible and I'm glad things are slowly improving for you. I don't believe having a bad life is any justification for beating one's children or wife, though. It's just an excuse nearly every abusive person (my father included) makes for themselves, or others make it for them.
My father and I are in the same place. Sometimes it's pretty obvious that he's realized his mistake and is finally trying to 'be a dad' now but it's too late. My siblings haven't forgiven him but I make an effort with him because I've learnt what it's like to be left alone and I can't stand the thought of anyone else going through that pain, even him.
And yeah, that whole cultural thing where divorce is made out to be because of the wife's shortcomings is horrible. Several couples I've seen clearly don't love each other but have to stay together because their parents married them off to each other and divorce is so long and complicated.
#29
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#30
Nope. When I examine their marriage I start to wonder whether humans are all secretly vile and opportunistic.
#32
Quote by ali.guitarkid7
Nope. When I examine their marriage I start to wonder whether humans are all secretly vile and opportunistic.
Most are openly that way.
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#33
Yeah they are. They're actually so adorable together. Kinda unexpected given that their marriage was arranged but they made it work.
cat
#34
yes, very.

support each other a lot and constantly talk out all their shit and while they do a lot together, they respect each other's alone time.

As a result, I can't see myself tolerating any relationship that isn't similarly communicative and respectful.


my parents got together through a kind of matchmaking thing in a church and then became borderline hippies a later on though.
O.K.

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#35
My parents are still alive. Just celebrated their 67th wedding anniversay.

They squabble constantly. I think Mom outweighs Dad by 30 pounds or so. Pretty sure she'd take him in a fight now, actually. Anyway they love each other, barely.
#37
Quote by Joshua Garcia
Also holy **** read all that. I can't even begin to comprehend what that must have been like for you or your mom.

Proud of you though. Couldn't have been easy to bring yourself to forgive him.


Cheers for the reply. It wasn't easy to forgive. It took years of therapy to let go of the anger. I gave him chances and he made the effort. Also, I was sick of the bad blood in the family so I made sure I defused tensions instead of inflamed them whenever we spoke.

Quote by Spinnerweb
Guitardude19 That's terrible and I'm glad things are slowly improving for you. I don't believe having a bad life is any justification for beating one's children or wife, though. It's just an excuse nearly every abusive person (my father included) makes for themselves, or others make it for them.
My father and I are in the same place. Sometimes it's pretty obvious that he's realized his mistake and is finally trying to 'be a dad' now but it's too late. My siblings haven't forgiven him but I make an effort with him because I've learnt what it's like to be left alone and I can't stand the thought of anyone else going through that pain, even him.
And yeah, that whole cultural thing where divorce is made out to be because of the wife's shortcomings is horrible. Several couples I've seen clearly don't love each other but have to stay together because their parents married them off to each other and divorce is so long and complicated.


I agree that having a bad life is not a justification for his actions, but he suffered trauma and refused to get help for years. That manifested in our terrible home life. Its not to excuse his behaviour, its just that I had to understand what he went through to deal with him better. If I knew what triggered him, I could avoid that trigger and he would be ok. Also after 20+ years I just wanted to keep the peace with everyone. If dad and I got on, then everyone was happier and walking around on less eggshells. The family still has a long way to go before we recover. My brother sister and mum really hate him, but we are all civil to each other moreso now than ever.

I too am sorry you went through hell with your father, I hope things continue to improve for you, whether he is in your life or not. I hope you never feel alone again, it is horrible. I have been alone before and its terrifying.
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#39
My parents are still married and have been since 1965 and they are happy, they get aggrevated at each other from time to time but hey who doesn't.
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#40
My parents still enjoy each other. They go out on dates and shit and take vacations together (sans me LOL).


I mean they'll have arguments once in a blue moon but it's never anything major.
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