#1
Misheard Lyrics


Let's get some quality mondegreens going on. Let's ruin some classic lines for others and prevent them from hearing the real thing for years to come. Post your own if you want. I'll do more batches of my own again and again I'm sure.

Darkthrone - Those Treasures Will Never Befall You
These treasures will never befall you
we're out of wheat


Carnivore - Predator
Heart ripped from the chest
Decapitated, a meal of
vagina is best!


Celtic Frost - Os Abysmi vel Daath
Actual lyrics
Os abysmi.
Os abysmi.


What I hear...
Arse! It gives me arse!


A favorite of mine and some others...
Samhain- Birthright
This is your legacy you are born to it
It will ever be
It will be on your heels
And we'll stay up late
And eat Cocoa Puffs


Death - Misanthrope
They came, they saw and acknowledged
Some good, some bad
So many negroes


Nile - Lashed to the Slave Stick
It is You Who Hath Commited the Unnutterable and Wrought Iniquity in the Great Hall
Your new wrecking ball potty will be cut to pieces


A common one...
Immortal - Moonrise Fields of Sorrow
And make me...
Never ending snowball!


Manilla Road- Necropolis
I've journeyed long and far this day
Lurking shadows and a pair of tits
Will never make me turn away


Everyone has this one occur...
Slayer - Die By the Sword
Live by the sword and help to contain
The helpless minds of you all
Die by my hand in pools of blood
Clutch yourself as you fall
My name is Tony! I've got some bacon!
A heathen, conceivably
but not,

I hope,
I’m not ashamed to be white
Vi doede ikke... vi har aldri levd
Barbarism is the natural state of mankind
Civilization is unnatural

It is a whim of circumstance
an unenlightened one
#2
I've thought about making a misheard lyrics thread! Your examples made me laugh aloud, and I wasn't even listening along.

The funniest misheard lyrics that I have read were for Suffocation - "Infecting the Crypts." Unfortunately, I read them in a YouTube comment years ago, and I have not been able to find them since.

edit: I will not claim credit for this, but...

Cancer - Hung, Drawn, and Quartered
Michael! Jordan!
Michael! Jordan!
Last edited by P1ayingW1thF1re at Sep 20, 2016,
#3
Vastum - Hole Below (A Dream of Ritual Abuse)

And to birth... and to birth... and to birth, two men alive
A heathen, conceivably
but not,

I hope,
I’m not ashamed to be white
Vi doede ikke... vi har aldri levd
Barbarism is the natural state of mankind
Civilization is unnatural

It is a whim of circumstance
an unenlightened one
#5
Nile. I make fun of Nile a lot, but I think they made some killer unique music.

Either way, they can't escape the section in Even the God Must Die,

Original:

Like a reed torch
In the water



what I hear:

Like a Retard
in the water


Get me every single time.


also I hate you for ruining Necropolis
#6
Necropolis.... goddamnit. I used to listen to this song every day on the way home from the bank because the song length matches perfectly with the length of the drive. Time for a new song!

Demilich - The Echo (Replacement)

Original:

The incarnation of Echos
A creature from below
Your destiny is to be it
After eating of your soul

You feel its cold limb
It's soon you, you're sooner him


I hear:

Hey there Token
And sir, you're retarded


I wonder how many other metal lyrics can be safely replaced with the word 'retard'
Glance into my eyes
and see the darkest shadows dancing
Playing in the desert of my life
Burning, -
and my soul is descending...



#8
I always thought that the lyrics to death metal just go:

"Grrrrr! Grarrr raarrr blarrr!"

But sometimes they actually go:

"Grrrrr! Blarrr graaarrrrr rarrrr!"
There's no such thing; there never was. Where I am going you cannot follow me now.
#9
I've been considering making a video for Youtube with this kind of thing on because there are quite a few that I hear, but I can only remember a couple.

The Islander by Nightwish

"An old man by a seashore at the end of day, gazes the horizon with sea winds in his face."

Misheard as:

"An old man by a seashore at the end of day, gazes the horizon with semens in his face."


The Moor by Opeth:

"Branded a Jonah, with fevered blood."

Misheard as:

"Murdered a tuna, with semen blood."


There are a bunch more but I can't remember any at the moment.
#10
Most of the examples so far are by bands I simply don't listen to...but they're still damned hilarious!

Great thread!

I'll contribute some weaksauce of my own. I was in college back in the 80s, dining with some friends, most of whom were headbangers, including another musician- my roomie- and his GF who freelanced for Kerrang! magazine. At we dined, the cafeteria's sound system started broadcasting Kiss' new song which included a line my roomie and I misheard as:

We want money!


And we gleefully sang along. "At least they're being honest!" we said.

His GF stopped eating and gave us both a withering look, saying, "You morons, the line is...:

Read my body!


"Oh...that makes a LOT more sense!"
Sturgeon's 2nd Law, a.k.a. Sturgeon's Revelation: “Ninety percent of everything is crap.”

Why, yes, I am a lawyer- thanks for asking!

Log off and play yer guitar!

Strap on, tune up, rock out!
#11
sort of relevant but I swear when Raiden does his torpedo move in Mortal Kombat 2 he says GIMME MY MONEYYYYYYY
Last edited by NosferatuZodd09 at Oct 21, 2016,
#12
Death row Imp Error!

To throw imp error!

Do I even need to say what song this is?

Quote by NosferatuZodd09
sort of relevant but I swear when Raiden does his torpedo move in Mortal Kombat 2 he saids GIMME MY MONEYYYYYYY


Nah it's "Asamagumanate!"
#13
Fuck Mortal Kombat. My friend has been irritating me for years pertaining to the original Toasty! pop up after an uppercut in MK1. He repeatedly tells me the guy says Frosty! The only argument he's ever been able to come up with was,

they're not toast



not


toast